Posted 5/6/2015 12:25 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Cuke, sorry to hear you're going through a rough patch. We do tend to lash out at those we love, feeling that we are sure they're not going anywhere! Are we a burden? Occasionally, yes. But then, at other times, our loved ones are a burden for us too. That's how life goes. I think being needed is just part of our DNA and if we never needed one another, we would be really screwed up!
You are working! That's fantastic! I'm sure you enjoy being able to contribute financially to the household. I miss that. I also miss the interaction with coworkers and customers ( my last job was a cashier ). A lot of my 'self esteem' was connected to working.
The other component was physical. I have so many scars now on my arms that I look like Dr. Frankensteins test dummy! That was hard to adjust to. 3 port scars on each shoulder, 1 three inch scar on the front of each shoulder too. An eight inch scar along my left elbow, 2 scars on the back of the right wrist and one on the left palm. Additional injury to the right shoulder and missing about 1 & 1/2 inches of the collar bone means my right arm hangs lower than the left and the deformity causes any straps I wear to fall off the shoulder! In cold weather I can hide most of it, but, it's warm now so everything shows!
Try not to focus on what you 'can't' do. We are still valuable, productive people, just in a different way now. I'm sure you meet your partners needs in ways that no one else has! That kind of special doesn't come along often!
I hope you can find some other anxiety reducing methods so you are not needing more medication that usual. That is a 'slippery slope'. Let us know how things are going.