I'm dealing with my depression almost entirely alone

The actual reality is that there is extraordinarily little help available for depressed or mentally ill adults. We are fed lies that there is loads of "support" available, when there is next to none. I know, because this is what I am going through right now. Every day I wake up alone. Every day I go to bed alone. I have to deal with virtually all of my feelings alone. My family are absolute waste-of-spaces. My dad, in particular, is a manipulative, unpleasant, empty husk of a man. My mum is a coward. I love neither of them. I tried to feel the love and affection that a child is meant to have for their parents, but there was nothing positive there to feel. I seem to only associate my parents with pain and misery.

Thus the idea of turning to either my parents for emotional support is laughable. I used to think I got support from my mum, but I gradually learnt that source of "support" came with more strings attached than a violin orchestra. It's not worth availing yourself of.

I have basically two online friends for support. If it wasn't for them, I'd have no one. I'm single, so no significant other, spouse, or children. Loneliness is a real problem. I was diagnosed with ASD last year. I'm in intermittent contact with an autism team, but they're not a long-term service and sooner or later they will have to discharge me from their books.

I cannot afford therapy, so please don't recommend therapy or counselling. I'm poor. I'm at the bottom of the social pile. Once in a blue moon I see a psychiatrist or one of his junior doctors. I did have an understanding GP that I've been with for 8 years, but because I had the temerity to move a few miles, I'm not allowed to stay with him: "patient choice" should be renamed "no choice".

I literally have no idea what the point of this post is any longer. Just think I wanted to say that I'm depressed and that all this support that people say is available isn't actually available.

NCOT-

I wish I could do something to help you. Please know that I'm here to listen.

Chele

NCOT,

it is nice to see you back.

So sorry your support system has not improved any.

I can not remember if you are in Canada or the UK. So I have put some links down for support groups for you to investigate if you are interested.

www.depressionuk.org/groups.shtml

http://depression.meetup.com/cities/ca/bc/vancouver/

http://www.depression-understood.org/information/ontario.htm



Hope this helps you. I attend a depression support group 2x's a week, it is very hard in the beginning, I stuck it out and now 2 yrs later, I find it very inspiring and supportive.

Peace and strength
Trina