Mid Life Issues..what helps?

Hi:

I am 48 year old male, married, one child. I am burnt out at my current job, quite often look back with regret about poor decisions, have multiple health issues (arthritis, GERD, and underweight), struggling financially, seem more aware that time is limited and that due to health issues I have limitations. I feel sad a lot of the time and wonder, what is the answer? No close family, no friends. I am wondering, will counseling help? I worry a lot, especially about not being around to raise my child. Other typical thoughts, low self esteem, etc.

Appreciate comments.

Thank you.

Welcome to the Forum.


I would like to let you know that you are not alone, many folks on this forum feel and struggle with what you are going through.

Just a few things that help are:

Therapy: a good therapist will help you sort out your feelings and work on self compassion

Copings skills that can become part of your daily life such as MINDFULNESS and MEDITATION are suprisingly effective.

A great website to start at for these is


www.mindful.org

Also support groups are very helpful. Takes about 6-8 weeks to get real comfy with the people. You have to give yourself a chance and ease into the group. Well worth the hard effort.

Here are some national sites to begin your search

/www.adaa.org/supportgroups

www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=support_findsupport

www.nami.org

www.mentalhealthamerica.net/find-support-groups


I have PTSD, MDD and dissociative disorder. I attend a mental disorder group that the majority of people are bipolar and anxiety. Only a few have what I have been diagnosed with. However, you would be surprised at how many people have the same emotions and issues.

I suspect, a lot of people do not claim a lot of their dx out of shame. So if you can not find the 'perfect' group, do try to attend one within the realm of your dx. You never know what you find.

I wish you peace and strength.
Trina

I didn't persecute you. I just ask if you understand depression... Your posts are very cut and dry, I thought maybe you didn't understand that even when a person has what they need, they can still suffer.

I use mindfulness, meditation, medication, therapy. Positive attitude, that is how I deal with things. These things don't always work, but I try.

I find that when I practice certain principles, such as forgetting myself and my present circumstances, and look to see if there is anything I can do to brighten someone else's day, my attitude improves. I try to stay in today, not get caught up in the regrets of yesterday or the uncertainty of tomorrow. What can I do right now?

I've also used the technique of setting a timer for 15 minutes, going ahead and just lie on the couch and cry, etc. When the timer goes off, I get up and do a 'chore'. If I need to reset the timer, I do. In this way, I can feel whatever it is (realizing it's NOT killing me) and still take care of the house so that I don't get overwhelmed by clutter, which can make me more depressed! Seeing that I can accomplish things also helps me climb out of the pit.

Bookread,

I understand what you mean by needing something stable such as faith. I too have a strong faith.

Although, I would like to remind you again of the links for mindfulness and meditation.

I often use meditation prayer which is wonderful. I find it a much deeper and connecting experience.

Peace
Trina