What Next

Ok. My girlfriend broke up with me in June. As I started to get better from that she tells me she is going to be deployed.I get anxious.

Yesterday she says she's leaving Saturday. Instant anxiety.

I met a new woman, we really gel but there is a health issue in our way. So as much as we both think we have found the one, I don't think it's going to happen. Feel depressed about it. Trying to use the strategy of not getting upset about things I can't change.

Then today I get the mail, there is a letter from my psych dr saying the office will no longer be accepting my insurance. I felt like I lost my breath for a second. I have been going to her for the 5 years I have been needing help. The thought of catching someone up with all that I have been through makes my head hurt. I guess I will just have my records sent over and they can read my file. Well it's a pretty big file so I guess they won't read everything. Maybe enough to get the gist of what is going on.

This is too much. I don't think I can take it. I would talk to my new friend but we are pulling back for 2 days to think and not be clouded by the energy we experience when we are together.

I can feel myself falling backwards. I have lost my appetite again, want to just lay on the bed and have frequent tears. UGH. This is never going to end.

Sorry for going on and on.

Hi Stillme. I'm sending lots of (((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))) your way. I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost my therapist....I've been seeing her for over 14 years now. I would feel the same way you do about starting over. However, I like Pitmom's perspective.

Hang in there. Just put one foot in front of the other and do lots of breathing. I'll be thinking of you.

Cass

That's a lot.

Of all of these, which one(s) can you affect? One of my mantras is that when I start to get anxious, I ask whether my actions can affect or change the outcome. When the outcome will be the same, I refuse to put my energy into worrying, and instead put it into resolving. If I can affect the outcome,then it deserves my energy.

We feel powerless. When things begin to happen which we cannot control, it makes us grasp onto other events or outcomes. So, when it doesn't turn out as we want, it raises the stress and perpetuates that frustration.

You can do nothing about the ex being deployed. You can hold her in your thoughts with love. You can do little to nothing about the health condition, right?

What you can do is try to minimize the disruption that a new therapist will bring. Call your therapist's office and get recommendations NOW. Request copies of records NOW. And, yes, it is hard, and really scary. But the insurance and/or the medical company made this decision which has nothing to do with you. It's impersonal. So minimize the damage as much as you can. You can also call the insurance carrier and register your objection, which is a small victory.

I have had to change therapists several times between moving and insurance changes. The one I liked best was not on my new insurance plan, and so I had to switch.I left one behind when I moved out of Virginia. And my terrific and much-loved PCP who handles all my pain med is moving her office down to a larger facility outside DC. I got the letter last week. I am debating driving the extra fifteen miles when I need to see her, or taking a chance that the new physician replacing her will honor the pain contract.

Hugs, kid. In moments of stress, use coping techniques to make it through.

How's it going? Check-in.

Hope all is somewhat better.

I thought I sent a reply earlier. Thank you all for your support. I am waiting for her response. It is killing me. I'm not usually nervous when it comes to meeting people but my anxiety is through the roof.

We took a couple of days apart to think and pray. We still haven't talked. I don't think she can handle it and wish she would tell me so I can deal accordingly. The waiting game is nerve-wracking.

The issue is that we are drawn to one another. I don't want to push. Hopefully something happens soon.

Then the ex calls last night. She is leaving to go to the place she is leaving from. They fly out Sunday.

Now things in the house aren't going right. I need some prv for water pressure but the faucet is tucked behind the furnace ducts and hard to get to. The cost for that they tell me will run into the thousands. I have to get it because the tub faucet won't stop running and the home warranty won't do anything until I get the prv. It's always something.

Really about to spiral out of control. A breakdown of some sort. I just want to lay down. But life keeps moving. Screaming on the inside

Stillme,

How are you doing?

Are you using controlled breathing to calm down?

You can throw ice cubes outside on the walk or patio/step to get rid of the anger and frustration.

Let us know how you are.
Peace
Trina

Still,

Be Still and feel your peace.

You are the center of you world. No one else. Finding the love for yourself and comfort in your own skin is where the answer to contentment lies.

When we are content, other people are drawn to us because the see this and want what we have. We don't have it every day. We work at it every day.

We are who we are, being accepted by ourselves is the first step to emotional freedom.

I encourage you to research mindfulness and see what you find to help you grow.

Peace
Trina

Problems with the car and the house are irritating. It sounds like you are doing what you need to do to resolve them.

If you can influence the outcome right now, then it is worth your emotional energy. If there is nothing you can do right now, put it to one side.

Easier said than done, I know.

As far as the friend, the same thing goes. It's hard,but sometimes the best thing you can do is wait and see what happens next. The old phrase, "The ball is in your court." Give it 3 days, and then flat out ask if you haven't heard from her.

Sounds like you are handling things better. They say it isn't the problem but how we face it. You can choose not to let it upset you. Life is full of these little set backs. After awhile, you learn to just go with the flow. It is so much easier that way.

Take things one day at a time and one day only. I promise things will get better. I hope you get the toilet and furnace fixed and fixed properly. It is hard waiting on other people to do things. Much better when it is more convenient. But it is what it is I guess.

Have a great day!!!

Breathe... Yes, that helps...

Hugs, Karen...