Would Love To Understand Why These Meds Dont Affect Me "Right"!

Hi There!

I just happened upon this site and when I saw such a large volume of activity, I'm hoping maybe someone can give me a little insight!

For forever (literally) there are certain medications that I do not react "properly" to. Usually, I have the exact opposite reaction that I'm supposed to have. For the most part, there are 3 main types that I experience this with: Anti-depressants, Sleeping Medications, Narcotics.

I've had problems with depression since I was around 15. I was never put on any medication until my early 20's. I was put on Celexa (Citalopram) and I can tolerate that ok, it seems to help somewhat, but it's literally the only medication that doesn't do this "flip". Any other time they've changed my meds, whether its taking me off the Celexa and just putting me on others, or adding others to the Celexa, within about 6 weeks, I will end up at a suicidal state. Now doctors just tell me its all in my mind. That'd be a fine explanation, except that it took me going through 3 suicide attempts before my family and I realized the pattern. I'm on Celexa, I'm ok. Put me on anything else, and I will end up in the hospital. And before most doctors know "how" the suicides were attempted, they'll start down the road that my suicide attempts were just for attention. Once the learn the details of my previous attempts, they look at me and wonder how I'm still sitting here! But can still give me no explanations.

And while the other two types of medications are different, Sleeping Medication and Narcotics, the result is the same for the most part. If I take sleeping medication (Ambien, Restoril/Temazepam), it doesn't work to make me sleepy. At least not at anywhere near regular doses. Before anyone hops on to say I'm just flat out taking too many, I rarely take them. As in maybe 4 times a year now. I have to be desperate to sleep, but have gone days without before I'll even think about it. Tonight happens to be one of those nights. I haven't slept since Wednesday and my kids and I have a lot of stuff planned for tomorrow. I don't want to be dragging-ass, so I was hoping to get some sleep. I started with just one. That was at around 9pm. It's now 1:45am and I'm more awake and energetic than when I took the pill. This just makes NO sense to me! It will end up taking between 3-4 pills (30mg) for me to finally sleep and even then, I'll only sleep a few hours. But I hate taking that many, in truth it scares me.

The result with Narcotics (and a great many anesthetics) is the same. Well, the anesthetics just flat out don't work on me. Regardless of type. Any more, if I have a surgical procedure, they have me dosing myself with tranquilizers, pain medications and amnesia'tic (?) meds prior to the procedures where they're going to administer general anesthetics. And it takes the surgeons a great deal of going back into my medical history before they're willing to do that, for obvious reasons. I've had two kids, both times the epidurals didn't work properly. The first time, it only worked on half of my body. Which was weird to feel contractions on half of my abdomen. The second time, didn't work at all. By the time I was at the episiotomy, and hard pushing, I was screaming and begging to be knocked out. The doctor wouldn't do it until they cut the cord, and by then, the whole room was swirling to me. I avoid the dentist at all costs. At first it'd be they would have to give me extra shots to deaden the areas, then it got to where they'd have me signing waivers so that they could "legally overdose" me. The last time, it just flat didn't work at all, and I'm balling, telling the dentist to just hurry up and do what he has to do, because nothing's going to help. (He was wanting to stop and try a different day).

My biggest scare, outside of the issue with antidepressants, was when I had torn my rotator cuff in my right shoulder and herniated two discs in the lumbar region of my back. I was in physical therapy, which hurt like crazy, except for traction.... I loved traction! Well, until they took me out of the harnesses. On top of that, they had me on narcotics like they were candy. The pain was so bad that there were times I couldn't get up to use the bathroom. They had to catheterize me a few times and send me home that way. (I thank God and any other entity that I never had to get any sort of colostomy!) Anyhoo... I got to a point where I was extremely concerned that I was becoming addicted to the pain meds, but not for the "normal reasons". When I take any type of narcotic, I don't get the general "buzz" type feeling overall. If it's a high dose type that you'd get at the hospital via IV, I'll feel that buzz for about 45-60 seconds, then just as quick, that's gone. But what it does do, it keeps my depression and anxiety at bay, I have a great deal more energy, and just a helluva more positive outlook on life.

I found ONE doctor who, at first didn't believe me, thought I was making excuses to stay on the drugs. So I offered to be present at his office for an entire day, let his staff witness how many I took and when and watch my behavior. He agreed. At the end of the day, he was completely confused, had no answers, but he believed me. Within about a month of that, my family moved from SC to GA, and by the time I was able to get back to SC, I found he'd retired. He'd not done like most doctors do (at least around here) where they forward off your medical records, he didn't "leave" his practice to anyone, so I was thrown back into square one.

Ever since then, I can find no one who's willing to witness me under the medications so they can see for themselves. Now, let me underscore this all by making it clear I don't stay on these medications, well, except for the Celexa!

I just wish I knew what was different with my brain (or whatever) that reacts so differently to these medications, and why. If we could figure that out, then maybe there'd be an alternative to something that wasn't necessarily narcotic but would have the same effect.

Has anyone ever had any similar experiences? I would love to hear from anyone that has. Or anyone who happens to know why I might have these reactions!

Thanks for taking the time to read my post, aka, my mini-novel! :)

You guys have a great day!

TheOriginalBrat

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 10/17/2015 2:16:16 AM (GMT-6)

In terms of antidepressants making you suicidal you are definitely not alone, this is written as a warning as a side effect on pretty much every one of them, its not common but it does happen.

I know some people that are in chronic pain that doesn't respond at all for narcotics, don't know if its just their chronic pain or any pain they have but there are people like that. Some told me they had been on max dose morphine and it barely touched the pain. One of them uses marijuana instead and gets far better pain relief from it. I think different type of pain killer work better for different types of people, so just because narcotics doesn't work doesn't mean there aren't options for you. Unfortunately it's often even harder to get access to pain relief drugs like MJ than narcotics.

So yes, you're definitely not alone, its good you found an AD that actually works and hopefully you can find a similar pain reliever that will work for you long term too.

I'm actually quite drug resistant too, luckily anesthetics work but sedatives barely have any effect on me, the gave me a double whack of it for my colonoscopy and I was still wide awake complaining to them that it hurt and to hurry up! Luckily never needed strong narcotics for pain but I imagine I'd have similar problems though probably not as severe as things like cocodamol do seem to work for me.

Some people are just sensitive to medications. Major depressive disorder can be effected by antidepressants.

Therapy and coping skills are key in working with balancing our emotions, especially with these reactions to medications.

It is difficult, once you have some skills in your daily life things become easier, I know I have done it.

Keep posting here we support and listen the best we can.

Peace
Trina

Medications are very complicated. (which is why i hate chemistry)
They can have numerous side effects, some side effects are even more harmful that the disease it cures. Sometimes they work so good for others but for some they don't seem to work at all. It probably depends on how one's body is reacting to it.

Normally if a medication won't work I wouldn't suggest increasing its dosage. I prefer just reinforcing it with other methods. for example if a person is suffering from anxiety and his benzodiazepines won't work. I wouldn't tell him to increase the dosage that can only be prescribed by his doctor. I however would suggest that in dealing with his anxiety he should do therapy along with the benzodiazepines meds.