did depression help kill our relationship??

Hi all, feel I should give you a brief bio on my ex first shes 38 been married 3 times all abusive relationships of varying types, she was abused as a child. Previously suffered depression and hospitalized after a meltdown at work a few years ago. She's manager in a very stressful job under staffed by 4 and works longer hours to cover the workload of everyone, she also lost a couple of relatives around this time last year. although was doing a lot of travelling for work and never grieved properly. She's been close to breaking point a few times but puts a happy face on at work, so no one suspects anything is wrong . refuses to admit she may have depression (has 7 out of 9 symptoms according to google) says its just stress but won't go to the doctors to get help so not on any medication and tries to deal with it all herself. She also worries about everything. is a very closed person with regard to what people know about her personal life. finds it difficult to open up emotionally, says she cant explain whats going on inside her head.

We started dating back in February and she was very guarded with her feelings but over time she started to let me in. we fell in love with each other and I'd never felt anywhere near what I felt with her with anyone else. we loved every second with each other. still got excited when I was seeing her and she still got butterflies. she was perfect to me and what I'd waited 26 years to find in someone. and she told me she's the happiest she's ever been. I respected her, tried to cheer her up when she was down, cared for her and would have protected her no matter what. made her happy with the little things, always complimented her, never put her down at all, always listened to her, never treated her badly and we've never had an argument the only issues we had which were there from day 1 were a difference in food tastes when dining out. so although challenging, I offered to start trying new stuff so we could dine out at posher places. which she was used to. and a different perspective on sex (which I put down to previous relationships/ history etc) to me neither of these were deal breakers as there was so much more to us than that and with a bit of communication we could have got through both of these. She was up and down mood wise for most of relationship (mainly work) but seemed to be genuinely happier with everything when she was with me, her friends and family all noticed it. We were both good for each other.

So after 6 months of bliss at the beginning of September she asked me to move in with her ( despite telling me right at the start that she didn't want to live with another man for at least 10 years) so this was a very big thing for her! then at the end of September she sent me a Quote "When you meet the right person, you know it. You can’t stop thinking about them. They are your best friend, and your soulmate. You can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with them. No one and nothing else can compare" again knowing her, a very big statement that would have taken a lot for her to say.

She sold her flat within a week of asking me, we'd started looking at houses together (although hadn't found anything by mid October) but the future was looking great as I felt exactly the same. Then 3 days before our second holiday together to Egypt in October a close family friend died. we went on holiday and a couple of days after we got back she had the funeral to attend and then straight back to work. it was then she started going distant on the texts ie no kisses or emoticons not saying anything lovey as she did daily before. I just put it down to the funeral and stress of work/buying house etc. spent the following weekend with her and everything seemed normal between us then when I got home I asked her if we were ok? to which she replied she just needed some space as was feeling overwhelmed and had to sort her head out. so the following Wednesday were chatting on whatsapp as normal and she says she cant stop crying so I drop everything and go over spend the next couple of hours cuddling and listening to her problems (mainly work) until she stops crying and says she's ok, she then had hospital the next day to get results of tests for lady problems. so I texted her a good luck message 5 mins before appointment to let her know I was thinking of her and waited for her to let me know the outcome....she never did.

So the next evening chatting on the phone and she says she was pissed off that i didn't ask how she was but to be fair I messaged her just before and thought she might want to tell me voluntarily. Asked her if she wanted to meet up and she said she was going away and that she really just needed her mum right now. so I asked about the results and she just said that it was nothing although i suspect different

so another week of pushing me away and I'm still telling her she's beautiful and i'm there for her and I love her daily. when she arranges a meet saying we need to talk and then without discussion of any sort just ends it.
saying she's got stuff to deal with and can't be in a relationship, not happy in the relationship and that she's lost who she is. to me these are 3 separate excuses without giving me a specific reason for any of them but said she still wants to be friends and that she was setting me free
then when asked a couple of days later for a proper reason she said During the last 6 weeks I've been feeling it didn't feel right.....and better I tell you than leave it. but again no details of why and contradicts herself as 6 weeks was around the time she said she couldn't wait to spend the rest of her life with me I still couldn't understand it because it still didn't make sense to me as nothing was different until after the funeral only 2 weeks before. so asked her again for a reason she then replied" that I had done nothing wrong but she realized in Egypt she didn't see a future for us as not everyone matches" despite an amazing holiday
I'm so frustrated as I feel she's just making excuses and hasn't given me real reason. so the funeral seems to be the turning point and the hospital results . I had already unfriended her on FB but she outright blocked me a couple of weeks later and re-friended a couple of guys she had blocked previously due to them both making her feel uncomfortable. she has since found religion and says she is happy. Although I see her at work and she looks like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Is there something she's not telling me?
Why end something so great without talking about whats bothering you?
Why wait six weeks before saying anything?
How can you want to spend the rest of your life with someone and then not see a future together within weeks?
If realized in Egypt we had no future why drag it out another 3 weeks before ending it when you had opportunity?
was there any more I could have done to help?


Just read all this back and it sounds like its hard work but I always told her she was worth fighting for but I didn't know who or what I was fighting!
!!! Sorry it goes on a bit but thought would get better responses if you had all the information. can anyone help as I'm confused?
thanks for listening.

It can hurt so much when one person seems to want to end a relationship and the other thinks all is well.

If the truth be known, she probably wasn't really sure what was going on. When we get depressed, our feelings are all over the place. We want to be alone, but not lonely. We want to reach out but we can't.

She probably could use some therapy, to help get a sense of what she wants.

I agree that you could benefit from some help to work towards moving forward too. I wish you the best.