I don't know what to do

Hey my name is Justin. I just found this site and I was hoping that this would be a place where I could find people who can maybe understand what I'm going through. I guess the first thing I should do is give y'all a little background on my situation. I am 20 years old and was just recently diagnosed with depression. In addition I am also epileptic and due to this I have had to have surgeries on both of my shoulders and currently I am unable to work or drive. I am living with my grandmother and aunt but both are completely useless to me. My primary source of support is my mother who lives across town and is also unreliable. Recently my girlfriend of 2+ years dumped me and I still don't know the reason why. She's seeing some other guy for the time being even though we still talk and at times it still seems like there is still hope. During this recent period though my emotions have been all over the place. For example today all I felt was this strong feeling of disgust towards everyone. I am a nice guy but lately all I feel are these negitive emotions. From time to time I even have suicidal thoughts like that I would feel better I put a knife through my heart or if I fired 2 guns 1 on either side of my head. This is not who I want to be. I want to be me again. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!

I just started seeing a psycoligist about a week ago and he recomended anti-depressents but wants my neuroligist to handle any meds I might take. Thank you for welcoming me. It's good to know that people care.