Assisted living care problems

Just got back from a very quick trip to Michigan, so frustrated! Okay my mom had pneumonia and was in hospital and then moved to a different part in the assisted living care place. So she is better, but still needs more care as she gets dizzy and can't or they don't want her to walk without a wheelchair or help. However, My dad who uses a walker checks her out everyday for lunch and wheels her down to lunch cafe. Then he check her back in the problem is they don't want him to walk her in the wheel chair, yet they don't stop him when he checks her out for lunch. He also like to check her out for other things and yet no one says no to him! or stands up to him to say "no", it's a comedy of errors and I'm just glad to be back home again...stress I don't need...
I told my brother to tell the assisted living place that we will sue them if they don't talk to dad and get a nurse to walk with mom down to lunch...it might come down to that...cause it has me very upset with their rules yet they don't follow them? makes no sense...venting big time...

Yes, it depends on the person on duty.

Peace
Trina

As somebody who spent their hospital stays leaving the ward and going walkabout as often as they could, I've got to agree with F27 here. Being in hospital - and by extension any institution - isn't a nice experience for most people. I never spoke to an inpatient who wasn't dying to get out and go home after a few days spent in hospital. And it's not because the nurses are horrible, or anything like that. You just have zero autonomy. You eat at the hospital's scheduled times, the food is largely grim beyond belief, and, worst of all, you can't even get a decent cup of tea.

Technically I wasn't meant to wander off to various bits of the hospital, but nobody ever stopped me. I do think it was those walkabouts which kept me sane during some of my more stressful stays.

It was a very exhausting trip, 2 days of solid road driving is hard! Started out each day on the road at 4 a.m.at least this time we cossed the Mississippi River in the daytime both ways, its a marvelous view.

Chartreux said...
But, my Dad is unsteady himself and needs his own walker so if he falls no one gets hurt. If he walks with the wheel chair the threat is there that he could fall .

I know. That's why allowing our parents to control their own destiny is the harder choice. We see all the potential problems, and our first instinct is to protect in any way we can.

My father spent the last year of his life is a nursing home. His dementia was complicated by diabetes and a broken hip that had healed incorrectly. I used to bring him cookies and Big Macs, both of which played havoc with his blood sugar, but he really wanted them. Partially because the food sucked in the nursing home, but mostly because he was sick of people telling him he couldn't have them. He was an adult and needed to be treated like one.

I would drive 3 hours, stop at McDonalds, then Starbucks, eat a Big Mac and some cookies with my dad, then turn around and drive the 3 hours back home. I'd tell the nurses what dad ate, get a 10 minute lecture, then leave it up to them to figure out how to balance his blood sugar.

I knew what I was doing was terrible for his body, but it was good for his well being.

Yeah, I remember what that feels like. During the final visit we had with dad before he went into the hospital he spent 2 hours telling everyone in the room how awesome my sister in law was and how awful my wife was. This, after spending 5 hours on the road driving through an ice storm to visit him. My wife didn't take it personally, but I did.

As much as you know it's the Alzheimer's talking, the words still hurt like hell.

Keep supporting your dad, he probably needs you every bit as much as you need him.

Sorry you're having to go through this Chartreux.

Finally got it all sorted with the staff they had dad use his own seperate walker and mom used her walker downstairs to lunch but need someone to bring her back in the wheelchair, so that's a little progress at least...