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Posted 7/12/2016 9:40 PM (GMT 0)
Hi- came across this forum and figured I would look for advice since most of the posts and reply seem so thoughtful.

I feel almost embarrassed that I feel the way I do all the time. I've seen psychologists and psychiatrists and been on numerous prescriptions that haven't worked. I hate taking pills in general since I already feel tired all the time and they seem to make it worse. Reason I feel embarrassed is I have nothing to be depressed about. I have a beautiful wife, great kids, beautiful home with no mortgage and my own business that generates more money and freedom for myself than I could ever imagine. I feel like everything I ever wanted is here and the joy or happiness I thought would be here after all this work never came. Almost disappointing.

I'm bored out of my mind. Getting motivated to do things is very hard. I feel better when I get to the gym and workout but it only lasts for a small period. I am then back to ground zero. Cant get out of the funk. like a bad cycle just turns over and over.

I have always been a bit of a binge drinker and recently have stopped. Ive noticed over last few years that the drinking (when I did it) was getting out of hand. Friends just looked at it as normal partying but I knew it wasn't right.

I feel like something is missing and all I ever think about is building another home, or starting a new workout or starting some project. But these things are just temporary sidetracks that sideline this for a period.

Any help appreciated...thanks
Posted 7/12/2016 10:31 PM (GMT 0)
You can have everything going right in the world, but if you have a chemical imbalance in your brain, things aren't going to feel right. I hope you can find a med or a combination there of to help you. Depression is the pits.

It is hard to get motivated when we are depressed. Either you are bored or things seem overwhelming.

Working out is good and so is walking. I try to walk every day. It always puts me in a good frame of mind.

I am glad you stopped drinking. Drinking alcohol only adds to depression. Being it is a depressant. Alcohol that is.

Often these temporary sidetracks can be good for us. We need to focus on projects. Maybe tackle a simple one and see if you feel better. Don't make any huge changes or decisions if you feel depressed. Often when we are depressed we aren't thinking clearly. But small ones (goals) are awesome.

I hope that you feel better soon. I do hope you find a medication that works for you. Maybe get a self help book on depression, they are so helpful.

Take care, keep posting and welcome to the depression forum.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 7/13/2016 2:01 AM (GMT 0)
No need to feel embarrassed Here. You are among friends. Nothing you mentioned that many if not most of us have also experienced. I too am self employed and very successful. Folks look at me and wish they could have my life.....Of course, little do they know.

As I said, you're among friends.
Posted 7/13/2016 1:34 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks!

Its odd how my whole life I thought certain things were going to "flick the switch" and change my perspective on things....in other words make me happy. Its like I reached all the goals I set to do and thought there was going to be some pot of gold at the end of the rainbow which I cannot find. Meaning happiness.

Im not on any meds right now. I stopped about a year ago trying the 2 or 3 things they were trying. I dont even go to the psychiatrist anymore because I feel like (and Im sure others do also) that I can fix anything.

Isnt there specific tests that can tell me which drug (Lexapro, etc) will work best? Or is it just a hit or miss situation like I have been told. I cannot stand being on these things waiting and waiting.

I know this might sound a bit odd, but I have honestly always thought that Marijuana would help me. I smoked a lot in college and it seemed to chill me out, make me relax. I know this isn't the typical solution but has anyone tried this or have thoughts?
Posted 7/13/2016 1:44 PM (GMT 0)
I smoke medical marijuana. I have a card. I find it helps a lot with depression. but I don't know if it fixes the chemical imbalance that my pills do. but it does help.

They are finding medical marijuana helps with a lot of different illnesses. I call it medical because that is the only way we are allowed to discuss it on the forum. In a medical sense.

There isn't a test that I know of to tell which medication can help you. . Though I have heard people talk about it. It has always been trial and error with medications as far as I know. We all want immediate results and that isn't always possible.

Keep trying. Find what works for you.

Best wishes for a good day.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 7/14/2016 12:49 AM (GMT 0)
Well buddy....ditch the super Hero complex. LOL No offense. I also used to think I'm Superman, I can fix anything. We can't fix this pal. Sadly, there is no magic bullet either. The meds are all trial and error. Eventually a good shrink will find the right cocktail of meds for you. Or in my case, it's always a moving target.

I've been seeing my shrink for 25 years. He's gotten pretty good at chasing my moving target in advance and making preemptive adjustments.

I can't comment about Mary Jane. Never tried the stuff. Don't think I'm a prude, nothing could be further from the truth. I've passed along many "peace pipes", figured if I tried it I would like it. Already have enough vices in my life between Women, Marlboro, Beer and Jack Daniel...list in the order of most expensive down from there.

I suggest finding a good shrink that specializes in Depression, hopefully one with a good sense of humor. Also helps if the Doc also had, or still has depression. See what good drugs he/she has up the sleeve to help ya out.

If nothing else, take solace that you're not destitute and going through this.

I REALLY hope no body reading this takes offense by that statement. I don't mean anybody any harm.
Posted 7/14/2016 12:05 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome to the forum. What you describe is practically the very definition of depression. No particular reason...just blah, numb, indifferent.

For the past 6 years, I've been living with it, unmedicated. The meds that I've tried gave me vertigo. Besides, there is no 'magic pill'. For me, the meds keep me alive while I try to learn ways to 'manage' my depression. They don't 'cure' me. Even with side effects, when I get down into the 'black hole' and can't get out, I would ask my doctor for them in a heartbeat.

You mentioned concerns about what happened when you drank. One of the co-founders of AA also suffered from depression and he found that helping others like himself was one of the best 'medicines' for his 'other malady'. So, perhaps the next 'project' that you involve yourself in could be one that helps others.

A couple of weeks ago, I helped a neighbor who is in worse physical condition than I am re grade his driveway to allow for better drainage and since I own a pick up truck, I went to the stone yard and picked up a ton of driveway stone for him. My daughters' boyfriend was helping me spread the stone. Two other neighbors were interested in what we were doing and asked if they could help. What a fantastic feeling, all the way around! There is nothing like helping another and seeing the result...except when others pitch in to help, too!
Posted 7/14/2016 12:41 PM (GMT 0)
No Offense taken SportyPig. Nothing wrong with tough love!

Pitmom-- thanks. And I agree on the helping others stuff. I have began in the last few months to get more involved with charities. What I need to do is actual stuff though. So far it has been mostly just the giving funds aspect, which does feel good, but it is so short. I need to get out and do more activity based things.

Weird thing about me doing that though. I will think about how nice it will be and rewarding to go and help someone do something (other than family), and then I have a second though of a tremendous amount of guilt that I am not working harder to make more money or do something more for my wife and kids. Its like I punish myself for thinking about doing other things. Its the same way when I do some activity that I enjoy without my family- I get this tremendous guilt that I should be spending time with them. So I end up not doing anything at times, staying at home, sitting on the couch and being completely non present. I am home, with the family, but not really mentally there so whats the point. Its so difficult, no one understands and its hard to speak to my wife about it because she doesnt get it.
Posted 7/14/2016 5:03 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome to the forum.

Everyone has given great responses.

I have a chemical in balance in my brain caused by trauma.
I will always be on meds.

I have been in therapy for almost 5 years. It is a great help and look forward to reducing sessions to every other week, maybe next year.

Therapy may be a good thing for you, helps understand what you are going through and how to deal with it.

Peace
Trina
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