New to HealingWell.com

Hi all, I'm new to the site as of today.... 53 year old male with depression/anxiety which intensified last year as I made some significant changes in my life, including a divorce.... taking meds, seeing therapist, meditating, yoga, exercise, et al. I managed my way through the darkest hours (lots of time curled up in bed). I have an OK but boring job, two great kids and a wonderful girlfriend; so many people in this world suffering from injustices, poor health, etc. and I know I am lucky, and who am I to complain?.... but I still cant shake waves of depression and anxiety on some days.... I guess just a couple of questions, for those of you in similar situations, how do you manage when you feel the depression coming on? Also how much details do you share with your significant others?

thanks Karen! Its good to have a community to reach out to...

Karen, where is the "Daily check in thread"?

Thanks

Hello, Cyclist and welcome! I ride on the weekends--Last weekend I managed 28 miles, which for me is a big deal (fibro). I live near a canal towpath, so at least it is flat.

The best way to react when you feel down is to do more, to busy your brain and body with something other than depressed. Get the brain moving with something useful.

I agree with Karen--It is important to remember that there are ups and downs for everyone. What goes down will come back up.

Everybody is different with how much they prefer to share. I keep most of my physical ailments to myself, except for family. I do not get into the nitty-gritty details, though.

Welcome to the forum. I'm pretty open with my adult children and my partner about my state of mind. After all, they usually see it before I do anyway. I feel safer, letting someone else know how 'bad' I may be at any given time. I just don't 'harp' on it. Usually, if I'm having a really bad day, I say "I'm not fit for human consumption."

I make sure I don't ignore the tasks that must be done daily...washing dishes, cleaning litter boxes, etc. The rest is 'optional'.

I find music to be a huge help. Sometimes, it's songs from my youth. Sometimes, uplifting spiritual music. Sometimes, my 'angry' music. This has been helpful, especially for my children. They can tell what mood I'm in by what music I'm listening to!

Looking in the mirror and telling myself outloud what the truth is also helps. After all, what we tell ourselves has more impact than what other people tell us. "I am not worthless. I have value. My pets depend on me. I am loved and I am lovable. I am still useful. etc."

These are just some of the things I use to help keep me from plunging into 'the black hole'. I hope someone finds them useful, too.

Cyclist, Welcome.

Later, but here!

I use to cycle in Ohio, wonderful park systems. Never competed.
Now now engery and to much pain. I Bike Ride now. relaxing and casual.

I rarely post on the daily thread, however I will look for you when I do.

You have landed in a soft and gentle place. We have understand waves of depression and have lots of ways of dealing with it.

I would like to share with you my go to web site for reminder and inspiring information.

www.mindful.org/?s=waves+of+depression

I hope you take the time to review this and see if it is something that can help you.

Keep posting we are here to support and listen the best we knhow how.

Peace
Trina

Don't beat yourself up. I often think the same thing--I have a much better life than other people who seem to cope a lot better than me. Whats wrong with me?

But I think of the depression as an illness, like a head ache. I get them in waves, some days I will just feel like crying all day. Sometimes I will be fine one minute and then my mood crashes through the floor.

I cope with these by thinking of them as just something like a headache--something that will pass of its own accord. I try to ignore it by getting on with something that will occupy me. That could be listening or playing music, cycling, reading, watching TV or writing. It's hard and at the moment every day feels like a struggle. But ignoring seems to be the best way of getting through it for me. I try to detach myself from it.