Depression and anxiety because of mother's illness

SO my mom has arthritis and it's getting worse day by day. Medicines don't help her much and it's hard to try and convince her that she'll have to manage it and take the medication seriously. She gets really peevish and cries a lot. This is completely destroying my mental health since I have ceased to have a normal life of my own. I don't have any kind of energy left for my own life. Since all I have to go through all day is to see her in pain and hear her crying. Sometimes I wish this world would end and I can stop having to deal with this depression and loss of hope. What's worse that I've been having some pain in my hands, legs, and arms, and though the doctor said it might be fibromyalgia, I'm anxious that I might someday develop arthritis and since I've seen her suffering this just adds to my mental torture and takes away any motivation left.

The fact remains that all I can do currently is just take care of her. I cannot ease her pain since I don't control it. All I can do is to be with her in all the treatment and management. But it does not ease the guilt and emotional pain I go through when I'm not able to help her. Her crying all the time has just drained me of any little amount of happiness or hope I had. I don't have a life now. I don't have any aspiration or hope for my future now.

Voices,

Does your Mom have RA?

Usually just arthritis is not THAT painful.

I have ostioarthritis and degenerative joint disease.

I talk glucosemine 1500 mg over the counter everyday.

For you mental health I would like to ask about the family situation to see if something there might help.

Are you the only child? Only child left in area to care for her?
Has she always layed guilt trips on family members to get her way?

I know my mother-in-law refuses medication just so she can say she feels bad. I can be in her home with her aide, talking normal conversation. My husband will call to check in, she changes her voice, like she is on her last leg. Does not ever care we are standing there. It is so automatic.

Perhaps you can talk to your Mom's doctor and ask just how bad the pain is and ask for a counceler for you, if you are feeling controlled by your Mom.

Just some thoughts.

Peace
Trina

Do you work or do anything to get away? Therapy? These things can really help.

Hugs, Karen...