Falling Apart

Hi All,

Last I wrote I was very distressed in my job, and starting to look at other jobs. I got a tentative job offer, it's a great job, a dream job. But they emailed me today and the salary was night as high as I would like (~7,000) less than I make now, and they say per hiring policy they have to talk to my current supervisor. I have only been in my job 5 months, and the first six months are probation. They also said that I would be unable to leave my current job until my probation is up, unless they release me early. I am now forced to make the choice, do I tell my boss and let them call? I am confident in my performance at work, however she may tank me as she is angry I am leaving after such a short while. Or she may be truthful, but is fully honest in sharing that I was not forthright in saying I was unhappy in my job and not an open employee. In which case I may not get the new job, and may get fired from my current. Or do I stick it out in a job that makes me so fundamentally unhappy? It is worth sharing that I work at a large university and am trying to transfer within, and for any job in that institution they would have to talk to my current boss.

I feel like right now not capable of making any decision. I feel as if the slightest breeze would knock me over, and here I am being pushed from all sides. No one I have talked to seems to get just how stuck I feel, they ask me "well what does your gut tell you?" I can't say my gut just says drop all of this and walk off a bridge, but that is how I feel. I know the risks of that are too great, even if I tried to hurt myself, my family would be devastated and my boyfriend is so overwhelmed by other things, and my ending up in the hospital would not help him either, and that may be the end of my relationship the best thing in my life right now. What do I do?

By law current employer is no longer allow to say anything derogatory about an employee, in the United States. They are only allow to give hire and end dates. Job tasks.

I have always found [I am 55] in these type of situations, that honesty is the best policy; saying only what needs to be said for the professional area.

No one needs to now you feel bad, that you feel you ought to have.. but didn't.. that you don't and it not personal....

If the current employer asks, and you feel must say something.
This has always worked for me. " I found this job interesting, however not challenging. The job I am going to will provide me with that challenge."

Sometimes this statement would get me a promotion at the current company with a much better job, however I would have years invested in the job.

There is NO SHame or fault, nothing evil or wrong in changing jobs, this happens every day. It is part of business.

You must take care of you.

Peace
Trina