In need of some help..

I suggest a therapist too. Psychiatrists don't always counsel. They mostly prescribe medications.

Sorry for your situation. But you do need to deal with suicidal thoughts.

I wish you the best. Moving might be a good solution. Welcome to the forum axround3r.

Hugs, Karen...

Thank you for the kind words. I have a feeling I will be okay. I wont be doing anything drastic. It is hard though. I think I will look into some form of counseling, maybe on how to cope with this situation. It is only temporary.

Thanks again

axround3r:

It's good that you wrote in.

You say: "about 6 months ago I received a court sentencing for what is a "2nd offense" DUI"

And: "Long story short my lawyer did not help I received a mandatory minimum 2 year license suspension. Also 180 hours of community service that I am working on. Basically living without a drivers lisencr is KILLING ME. I lost the job I had, I lost my apartment, had to move back home with my parents after just moving into my first apartment that I worked very hard for years to get. I still managed to find a local part time job, but not being able to drive to the store, or the library, or to the freaking park or anything is absolutely insane and also destroying me inside"

You're pretty much saying this is unfair.

I also had an unfair experience.

1.I had a bad marriage from a spouse who got caught cheating. That's unfair to me.

2. When our son was 13, he learned of it and it tore him apart, which he probably thought was unfair.

To retaliate for his unfair, out son and his girlfriend had a baby.

3. That's unfair to me.

4. That's unfair to the baby of uneducated, unemployed, unmarried, unloving, uncaring parents.

5. I have sensitive ears to noise from firing the rifle with no ear protecting in the military. That's unfair.

6. That puts me in a difficult position. I want to take care of my newborn grandchild by keeping him during the day until his parents get home from high school.
But I have sensitive ears to noise.

I ask my psychiatrist what I should do, because I don't have a brain in my head. He says I should take care of the kid. Wrong. That bad advice is unfair to me.

7. I keep the kid for about 2 weeks. The kids one day gets very loud. I have no backup. That's unfair to me.

8. The kid is so loud I cannot drive a car anymore, for the motor is now too loud for my ears. That's unfair.

9. For six years I cannot, not only not drive a car, I cannot even ride in one, for the motor is too loud. That's unfair.

10. I cannot go to the doctor, anywhere. That's unfair.

11. I look out the window sometimes and see people riding up and down the street in their cars taking it for granted, and I think, that's unfair.

Finally I get where I can ride in a car.

What is the point of this story? The point is, I know what you're going through. I've been there.

But for some solace, here it is: You can ride in a car, you jerk. I couldn't even do that for about 6 years. So your can't drive but you can ride in a car looks like up to me.

I would have given anything for that. To be able to even get to the doctor's, yeah, that would've been great.

Also, as a result of not getting out, I ate to make up for the lack of stimulation, gained weight, hit the 200 pound mark, got diabetes (which probably won't g away), and from there other health problems can occur.

So you don't want to gain weight, do want to get exercise and socialization (self-help groups, whatever), because if you don't get those things, your brain will tell you to eat for stimulation.

You say, "I lost the job I had, I lost my apartment, had to move back home with my parents after just moving into my first apartment that I worked very hard for years to get. I still managed to find a local part time job, but not being able to drive to the store, or the library, or to the freaking park or anything is absolutely insane and also destroying me inside"

You are fighting for your life, even fighting not to take your life, as you said.

What I think you have to do is start from the bottom up.

Don't look at the things you can't do. Look at the things you can do, and increase their importance.

You still have your health, a place to stay, thanks to your parents, who you should thank in some way every day.

You have a part-time job and get to see people, feel important and make money.

I've told a couple of people who were wallowing in self pity as I used to do and were fixing to disintegrate: "You need to get down on your knees in thanks to God for your many blessings."

Meaning, you're going in a downward spiral and need to pull out of it. Also meaning, you need to look at what you have (roof over your head, "3 hots and a cot," as my son says about a few nights he spent in jail when his parents marriage was going bad, with those 3 nights in jail turning him around from whatever).

Yeah, what did help me when I was looking at 6 years without riding in a car? One thing, at a group meeting just before that long span began, I listed my troubles and the woman next to me said, "Oh, you were having a pity party. We've all done that."

Well, I had felt sorry for myself all my life. But when that woman said that, I was so embarrassed in front of the group, so embarrassed, a grown man acting like a baby, that my psychic will not allow that to occur again.

Now, when ever I try to feel sorry for myself, I see that woman's face, and I hear her voice, and it doesn't work.

To and from that meeting, was literally the last car ride I took for a long time, and for the entire six years, I never felt sorry for myself.

Yeah, I had some bad luck. But I had some good luck, too. One of them was that woman.

I really like what Myself has said. The alcohol did change your life for the worst. Think about not drinking if you haven't stopped already. Alcohol is a depressant. It makes you depressed.

I wish for things to get better.

Hugs, Karen...

Keep posting AX

We are here to listen and support you!

Peace and strength
Trina

DUI's is what gets people killed. Even buzzed driving because alcohol gives people too much confidence. And even if they aren't drunk, their judgement can be off. Either way it is a law and you got the punishment that they give. So in their eyes, it was a crime. Don't take it so lightly. I have lost two of my sister's to alcohol related illness. My mother was an alcoholic too. And I have another sister who is but has stopped drinking. But it caused her to leave her kids. She's now making bonds and relationships.

Alcohol also causes depression, it is a depressant.

I have pretty much seen people drink themselves to death. It is really sad to me. As I posted above, I hope you have stopped. Or at least cut back. Most people drink to not think about things in their lives. But it only makes things worse.

Don't think we don't like you or anything. The thing is that we care about you. We want you to learn before it is too late. It really is a self defeating drug. And it is a drug.

I hope that things get better. Time will go by and you will be able to drive again. Just be patient. I have been without a vehicle before and had to take public transit. It stinks but they do get you where you are going. We didn't have taxis around here. Also walking is really good for depression. Walk as much as you can. This will be over before you know it. Just hang in there.

I hope you are having a good day.

Hugs, Karen...

axround3r, I hope you can let go of the frustration and anger. You got pinched - and if I learned anything from Goodfellas, and I have, it's that when you get pinched you take it like a man.

It's true, not everyone is impaired at .08, but some people are. The rule of law has to be applied equally.

Don't let this drive you nuts. Sure, it sucks. Sure, it might be unfair. Sure, it's a royal pain in the butt. But you know what? It's finite, it will end, and you'll be able to go back to your life and carry on.

Roll with the punches dude.