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I feel like I can't get help

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Posted 1/3/2017 6:58 PM (GMT 0)
How do you cope with people not listening or understanding your issues? Many people don't understand how deeply depressed I am and I try to express this as best I can to therapists, doctors, friends and family but no one really seems to understand. I can't afford therapy anymore but I am in need of someone understanding me. There is some troubling behaviors in my past that i am now repeating more frequently and i think it comes from deep emotional pain from the past...i don't know how to fix myself anymore. I feel like there is no help or hope for me....how do you deal with something if no one understands or seems to care?
Posted 1/3/2017 7:11 PM (GMT 0)
Sometimes it is like that and we have to care about ourselves. If your therapist isn't listening, get another one. If you can't afford it, maybe look for some books about the way you are feeling. There is one called "feeling good" by Dr. David Burns. I got mine off of amazon. And another one is called "how to train a wild elephant". I got that off of amazon too. Books are nice because you can reread them. There is another called "healing the inner child" (I think) and it is good for going over childhood things, I mean our childhood develops our personality and a lot of our problems stem from there.

Mindfulness, meditation and living in the moment help. Breathing exercises. There is only so much medication and therapy can do and the rest is up to us.

I read something today that may apply, may not... IF you don't like your situation, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. A lot of our depression comes from the way we look at things. If we change the way we look at things, they can become better.

Do you take medications? I have been on them for close to 30 years. And they have helped greatly. You may need medication if you aren't already taking it.

Make a plan for getting better. You can do this. Things seem bleak right now but they will get better. And we are all here to listen to you.

Often if you make a list of things you want to discuss, it can make things better with the therapist. If you don't bring it up, they don't know what is going on. Stress to them that this is important to you.

I hope that you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 1/3/2017 7:29 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, Thanks for the reply. I just bought a couple books and they are just sitting there collecting dust. i get through a couple pages and then i don't read it anymore. I also have Lymes disease and I'm really low on energy and very lethargic and the procrastination is really bad. sometimes i don't leave my bed and just go on the computer and the tv...i just can barely stand to be awake...the emotional pain is bad but my behaviors keep on continuing like i have no control over them....i am frustrated at myself but i keep doing the same things and then i feel like all the energy i put into the action was wasted for nothing. i want to learn to meditate but i don't know how to do it..i'm just really tired and feeling really low right now...i think healing from the lymes will be a great help but its taking so long to get better and i still don't know if i will, and the treatments are so expensive sad my condo is underwater too i feel so overwhelmed right now its just awful..
Posted 1/3/2017 8:09 PM (GMT 0)
Cb1234
If there is 1 thing I have learned it is if the person that is hired to help and doesn't than its time for a new Dr family,friends,can't know what you're going through unless they have been there themselves so don't be too hard on them
I think Karen gave you some very good advice'she also asked if you're on any medication if not it something to consider.
I can only say that a good doctor will be able to help but you must try to do things that get your mind in a better place
I'm not one that post much but sometimes I see someone that is trying to find their way to get better
Try to read ,listen to some up beat music anything to distract you
Hope you feel better
Posted 1/3/2017 8:26 PM (GMT 0)
@hope4all thanks for your post. I actually am taking an ssri I have been on the same one for 15 years I have tried changing it to other meds and I have tried adding meds. some of the ones I tried to change didn't work and I begun to feel the horrible withdrawal symptoms so I had to go back to the same one...then another one work but insurance didn't cover and wasn't a generic at the time I don't believe....I added abilify but had racing thougts, added seroquil bt I coulndt function on it it just made me sleep...I tried some others tooo i'm back to just the ssri and benzo prn...

@Karen I didn't mean to dismiss your book suggestions I hope it didn't come througt that way I actually want to look into the childhood on...I did read Feeling good years ago and it is a good book
Posted 1/3/2017 8:27 PM (GMT 0)
Hey cb1224,

Try this site for meditation - it's easy and fun.

/www.tarabrach.com/guided-meditations/

Sorry you're caught in the vortex - I know how much it sucks. But you'll get out. We always do.
Posted 1/3/2017 8:34 PM (GMT 0)
Hey cb1234

Sorry for what ur going through. I know, it's not fun. I haven't been in ur shoes with people not listening , but a friend told me about crisis support website. Depending on Where ur located, that have online chat features where you can literally text with a trained person about how your feeling , etc. I tried it, it wasn't for me, but some people might. ? Don't know if that's something you'd like? Same friend found me a local free support group on mood disorders. I haven't mustered the courage to go yet but I like knowing I can if I want to.

Also I write a lot of stuff down so I can bring it wherever I'm going. You don't always feel the same in the office as you do at home. Might help ? Maybe ?
Posted 1/3/2017 8:55 PM (GMT 0)
CB--Several of us with the low-energy/chronic pain conditions get it. It is hard to summon up the energy to give a rat's tush. Especially when you know your body will only last for so long.

What helps me-meditation--try one of the youtube vids suggested. I have several bookmarked. Exercise is big for me. I didn't start until after dx of fibro. Then, I pretty steadily worked out until recently, when I became a couch-sitting slug. I can really tell when I am not active--more pain, less energy, and more depression. I re-joined my old gym yesterday and am happy to get back to it. Lastly, find something to care about. This is tough, because depression includes the "so fricking what?" component. Some people like mental stimulation--other do not. But caring about something is beneficial. I plan my garden, follow politics, follow a few FB groups (corgis are my thing right now,) and enjoy what work I get.
Posted 1/3/2017 9:40 PM (GMT 0)
CB,welcome to the forum. You have landed in a soft and caring place.

Most of us have been, are at or will be again, where you are. It is part of the healing journey. Our individual pain cause us to isolate, emotions from the past remind us that we could not tell, and no one care, and if they did, they said we were "too sensitive". I can't stand that phrase!

There are 2 books I have handy at all times. I reference them to remind me what skills I need to do when I and feeling my self going down. Skills are our sword and shield to fight the monsters!

A web site you might find very helpful is www.mindful.org. the search is in the top right of the screen.

The books I use the most are:

THE HERE AND NOW HABIT by Hugh G. Byrne, PhD

He uses the word 'habit' in place of self harm. As we can not discuss this on the forum you are welcome to email me if you need to. Click on my user name, email address will be on the right side of profile.

THE MINDFUL PATH TO SELF-COMPASSION by Christopher K. Germer, PhD.

I have been working on self-compassion and self kindness for a year now. And I can say that bad habits and actions are not longer a worry for me. Sure, I still have ideations as I work on my abusive past, but I can control myself and look at my emotions and balance them now. I can face my pain and work with it so it will be processed and not come back on me.

Peace
Trina
Posted 1/3/2017 10:58 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you all so much for your replies and suggestions. I will definitely look into all of the things posted here. I believe mindfulness and meditation will be a big help if I push myself to learn it and practice it
Posted 1/4/2017 2:24 AM (GMT 0)
As far as i have known people, and everyone who i met.

Most of them always too busy being envious, to start to care about such trouble as illness, or caring especially for someone, whom they knew all life. i know how its hard when no body listens.

Healthy people are just people. people expect the best out of nothing..

So sometimes it is way better to stay away from people.
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