Depression Worsening... Med Switch?

Hi Everyone

I've made a few posts on here before regarding my long battle with depression. It's been about 6 years or so now I've noticed I just haven't felt right. I also suffer from anxiety with panic attacks. I think it's related to the depression. Also I've noticed lately some negative/disturbing ocd thoughts that have started to float around my brain almost like I can't shut them off if that makes any sense.

I'm 32, good job, beautiful happy wife who suffers from none of these mental conditions, and a beautiful daughter who is 14 months old. I am miserable. I have a beautiful life with my family but I cannot enjoy it. I see almost no joy in anything anymore. I'm starting to think something is majorly wrong with me.

Ive been under the car of a pdoc for around 2 years now. She has prescribed me Lexapro 5MG (I was up to 15MG at one point but noticed no change in mood and massive weight gain and loss of sex drive) and .25 Klonopin twice daily for anxiety control.

She wants to add small dose Wellbutrin to my mix to see if that will help things. I read Wellbutrin can cause anxiety and heart palpatations so I have some fear about this. It's almost like I have fears of taking new meds that will make things WORSE than they already are.

I know there is no good meds for ocd thoughts other than cognitive therapy but it seems as I get older things are getting worse and I need to get a handle on things.

I recently had surgery and was given hydrocodone/tylenol and noticed I felt better than I did in my entire life as far as my mood is concerned but I know that's not an adequate solution.

Thoughts on something other than Lexapro? Celexa is too similar so that's probably out. Prozac? Paxil?

I'm on Mirtazipine 7.5 mg anti-depressant and it works well.

I was on 15 mg. at night, and at that strength it caused me muscle spasms (twitching toes 5 or 10 minutes after I took it).

I also caused me increased appetite about 20 minutes after I took it, causing me to get up and run to the kitchen for 10 snacks as fast as I could eat them, even though I had just finished supper and 2 snacks.

It took me a couple yeas or more to figure out it was the Mirtazapine at 15 mg. that was causing this. We cut the pill in half, and now at 7.5 mg, the same Mirtazapine for the past 2 years has been doing well.

My psych also tried me on Seroquel anti-depressant, but it got me going so much, I cleaned my house in 5 minutes.

You say, "I also suffer from anxiety with panic attacks"

I had panic attacks for 2-4 years, I'll guess. When they diagnosed me as manic-depressive, they gave me Lithium, and the panic attacks stopped cold. I haven't had one since in many years.

I know it was the Lithium that stopped them.

There are medicines they use to treat anxiety and panic attacks, but I don't know what they are. There is an anxiety/panic attacks forum on this website which talks of those subjects, and the net search engine could give you such a list.

It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, as we all are. Changing to a positive attitude when having problem has helped me.

I now say, "One problem at a time, and be positive about that problem."

Also I've heard, "The person you have to defeat is the person you have to look at in the mirror in the morning."

Pristiq seems to really have good reviews. I'm going to talk to the doc about that. I've tapered down to 5MG of Lexapro which seems to control my panic attacks at this time.