IN recovery, trying to pick up the pieces

When you say you're "in recovery", I take it you mean a 12 step type recovery program? If so, where are you in the steps? Have you talked with your sponsor?

It may help people to know that one of the co founders of AA suffered from depression. This was only partially aleviated by stopping drinking. He continued to try to find a solution for his 'other malady'.

Many of us here use music, art, mindfulness techniques, certain foods and supplements, to help us manage depression, with or without medications.

If your resistance to taking meds is because you're 'in recovery' and want to avoid medications all together, in my experience...you may be suffering needlessly. I would no sooner tell a depressed person to not take anti depressants than I would tell a diabetic not to take insulin. There are pamphlets available at most AA meetings that deal with this topic. I suggest you try to get your hands on them.

You say you in recovery, and someone else above said this might be from an alcohol situation.

Then you mention you do binge spending "to try a feel 'something' other than the numbness i'm enveloped in at the moment"

I'm wondering if this binge spending, this recovery situation this "feeling numb" are signs of something else.

I'm bipolar, overspending is one of the signs of that. So, I'm just saying, this could be connected to something else, something larger than a little extra spending at times.

I see a psychiatrist and taken Lithium for the mood swings, high and low, and for depression. When you go shopping, do you get really excited? And then when you see a slower situation, you get really depressed?

You might want to see a psychiatrist to see that that person thinks of this overall behavior, not just a little extra spending, not just the recovery situation, not just the feeling emotionally numb.

Maybe the psychiatrist can tie all of this together into some sort of pattern. Maybe one that is treatable. I don't know about a psychologist, because they don't do medicine, so maybe they don't have to do diagnosis. I'm not sure about that.

But I don't know that psychologists to diagnosis. If you get a diagnosis from a psychiatrist, it may be treatable. Whether you want to take the meds is up to you.

At the very least, you have depression, from what you're writing and from my guess. Add spending sprees to that, add numbness, also losing a job, financial debt and the recovery situation, you might want to seek help rather than trying to avoid it.

I'm bipolar, a noted, and that fits some of my traits. I've lost jobs, I get depressed when I'm out of a job, I've overspent on art paintings probably when I shouldn't have.

Do you have anyone in your family, parents, grandparents, who had emotional problems? Such problems can skip a generation, so your parents may not have had anything like that, but your grandparents may have.

It may show in your grandparent's children, other than your parents, so your uncles or aunts may have had such difficulties.

I think it is important that you can stay positive and find out what this is. One thing that has helped me is, "One problem at a time, and be positive about that problem."

Clair,

I hope you are doing well. Know we all care about you.

Hugs, Karen...