Sausages

getting by said...
I removed his name. I am understanding that we can't post his name anymore. I don't know if anybody emailed you or not. Either of his member names. I will lock this thread as it is at 101 posts. You are welcome to start another we just can't use his names. Maybe "C" or something. I don't know.

I hadn't even realised I'd used his first name - it wasn't done on purpose. Can somebody email me to explain why this new rule has been put in place, seemingly just for me alone. It's literally just a first name - I haven't, and don't want to, give any more personal information about him than that.

Now I feel like I'm starting to outstay my welcome on HW; become a burden and a nuisance. The ongoing story of my life.

I'm so sorry about your dog, Karen.

Post Edited (NiceCupOfTea) : 5/25/2018 3:18:16 PM (GMT-6)

Did you ever meet this guy NCOT? If you knew he had a wife, and it was just friendship (at least that's what it sounds like was portrayed) then where did things go so haywire? Did he lead you to believe he'd leave his wife?

Naming people by name on here has always been discouraged, that and putting email addresses in the posts. We try to allow people to remain anonymous. We realize his name wasn't enough to reveal his identity in this situation, but it's better safe than sorry.

I am not speaking about you specifically regarding e-mail addresses. You were very respectful at keeping his identity off HW. I am stating that when we see people post email addresses, or real names, we take it out. This is a little more vague since it's just his username and first name, but for his, and your protection, removing it is a good option. I would hate for him to show up and feel singled out, or for you to look back and wish you hadn't mentioned the name. This way it's anonymous. He will know it's him if he sees it, but no one else can go searching for his member name.

Don't feel you need to leave. This is a good place for support and suggestions. Hang in there...

Hugs, Karen...

Sorry for any confusion NCOT, not my intention. Remember my mention of forgive me as I am just a dumb guy bit... proved my point doh...

I think NSSG has made this recommendation before as well but I would encourage you to try a dating website of some sorts to try and find someone local. I think it would help out your loneliness.

My SO and I met on a dating app and have been together for almost 2 years now and are moving in together. My previous roommate has met his SO on a dating app as well and they've been together for 2+ years. And it's not just for younger generations either, my boss (in his 40s) with a kid uses dating websites and apps and has been having pretty good luck there as well. Hope something works out for you.

@Bull - I'm in no frame of mind to try dating apps. To attract people I need to be mentally 'well' or at least able to convince enough people that I'm mentally well. But even if I could manage the latter, I'm not remotely, in any sense of the word whatsover, well. I'm deeply unwell, which - even if I met someone - could only end in disaster.

It's not just that I still miss 'X'; it's that my trust in people even close to me has been shattered. I have always been an untrusting person and I kept everybody I ever knew at arm's length. I eventually ended up trusting X and that trust was shattered. Every time I think about meeting somebody and getting close to them now, all I can think of is that I thought I knew X and I thought he knew me - but in the end neither were true.

My brain is broken, it has been shattered into a million little pieces, and drugs or anything else aren't going to repair it. To be fair, it was broken long before I met X - it's not like I was completely mentally healthy before I met him. But I was sort of holding it together with copious amounts of glue and rubber bands, but now it's just disintegreated beyond all possible repair.

Post Edited (NiceCupOfTea) : 5/17/2018 7:05:20 AM (GMT-6)

NiceCupOfTea said...
Right so initials aren't allowed. This is just bizarre and I can't help feeling I'm being targeted.

@Michele - We had a quite bad argument in the past and I don't feel like you are the most neutral person to monitor my posts. With respect, can you leave the monitoring to other moderators please?

Please don't take it personal. When anyone posts real names, real initials, etc..on a forum (and the story that goes with it) you open the forum owner up to a lot of problems. I have to, as a moderator, protect that. Please try to understand.

I don't enjoy anything anymore, iPoop, and haven't done for a long time. I can't concentrate on books or videogames anymore; my mind is constantly hyper-alert and can't switch off. As for food, I used to love a nice meal, but Crohn's has ruined that for me. I don't care what I eat anymore, because it all goes through me the same way and it all causes similar symptoms for a few hours.

I'm not going to stop going to my gardening place, but that isn't helping as much as it was. Doesn't help that medical appointments and bank holidays keep on clashing with my preferred day i.e. Mondays. Will have to skip the next two Mondays, but I suppose by June it will be back to normal.

Speaking of medical appointments, I am so so so very tired of dealing with medical issues. Pain and illness haunt my thoughts now - they are never far from my mind. I am terrified of a future of being old and alone and having more and more health/pain issues to deal with.

Speaking of being alone, I used to love my own company. But now I hate it. I hate every moment I am alone.

I'm just so scared. Scared and alone. All the time.

Can you have a pet? Or would you want one. I am so lonely without my dog now. I will get another one in time.

I hope you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen...

I agree about a pet. While I love animals, and I wouldn't trade mine for the world, it is a big commitment, and you really need to be prepared for it. I think a test run with pet sitting or walking could be a good opportunity to spend some time with animals. Then you can see exactly what it entails and know better if it would be something you're interested in down the line - obviously at the moment it's not an option since your housing doesn't allow it. It's kind of unfair when pets aren't allowed. You can sometimes get around restrictions if you can get a doctor's approval saying it is for emotional service. That or you're stuck paying a premium for a petfriendly rental. Then with a pet, you may want some outdoor space, which is even more expensive, and you need washer/dryer since they tend to shed. Need a car to take a pet from point A to point B, especially in a medical emergency. Pets are expensive, and they get more expensive as they age. RX food, medication, vet, tests... Same as people and no insurance. It can be very stressful, but it can also relieve so much stress having an animal in your life. Do you parents have any pets? My parents would never. They are not the "type".

It's good that you got out to see a film. You should have suggested a nightcap. What's the harm? I am happy you're able to live well enough with entyvio, i just hated when you said you couldn't enjoy food these days. I like to cook, so being able to eat everything is definitely something I appreciate. With UC I wouldn't eat anything. Even if I was in remission I had myself convinced food was the culprit in any events of instability. Isn't it weird how people with these conditions have other ones? I was always depressed, who knew it would get topped off with a bit of chronic colitis.

You can come pet sit for me.

Fake it until you make it.

Pick something to cultivate interest in. Even though you do not have any intellectual interest, do it anyway. I find that, most times, the act of doing something mutates into taking an interest in it. Painting, knitting, crafts, music....