Is It Too Late To Change My Life?

We've all heard that expression ' it is never too late too change your life', but I've been wondering lately if this is true.

I am stuck in a career that I don't like and my personal life sucks . Yes, I am trying to change my careers by applying for other jobs, but I'm not getting any calls and most of the job postings I see want people just out of school-darn ageism!

As for my personal life, well, it is really non-existent. I have few friends and not married or in a relationship. My only close family are my parents and my brothers. As much as I like being single, and not answering to anyone, I do fear growing old, alone, and becoming a 'cat lady' ( not that I have anything against cats). I've tried online dating, etc., but I haven't met anyone, despite doing online dating for a while. I understand that some people meet there significant others through dating sites, but most of the guys, that I met ,are just plain weird or emotionally unstable or unavailable.

I started off 2020 optimistic and full of hope, but my optimism is slowing turning to pessimism. I'm started to feel like 'what's the point in doing anything' nothing will change and I'm just too old. I know that it is a horrible thought to have, but I can't shake it. I don't know anymore... maybe I feel this way because of my depression or nothing is happening as quickly as I like.

It is never too late for change. Change is inevitable. It always happens. So don't give up.

I was told if you don't like your life, change your attitude. There is something to be said about that. Though it sounds crazy. If we change the way we look at things, often we see things in a different light. And get the feeling that things can get better. So I try to do that when I can.

I am not into the dating sights, mostly because I am married, but I would fear meeting a psychopath or something. So be careful. Be safe...

I hope that things get better for you. Maybe you are expecting too much too fast. Take things one day at a time. Things will change.

Hugs, Karen...

HT:I love hearing about that 90 years old uni student. It is so inspiring...You are so right, the only barriers are ourselves.

Gettingby: I really want to change my attitude. I know it's our attitude that affects our perception of situations. It's just so hard for me as I've have a negative mindset. I do think I'm expecting too much too soon. I've always been impatient for things to happen and am trying to learn to take things slowly.

OceanFisher: Online dating scene hasn't worked for me although it has for some of my friends who found their significant other. I don't go to bars, but I am a church member. I actually got baptized a few months ago and really like my church. I initially started going to church because my mom keeps stress how important it is to have a 'church family' and find fellowship with like minded people.

Unfortunately, most of the men in my church are either married or much older than me. There also seem to be more women than men in church. I suspect most churches have an uneven ratio of women to men.

I went to my therapist today and told her how I felt. We came up with the idea of keeping a goals journal. I would list a few goals to complete every week and check it off as I go. It might be a little less overwhelming and encouraging to see that I complete the goals listed. She also suggest that I have a goal of sending out at least 3 resumes per week which I think is doable.

I think part of my attitude stems from the fact that I've been stuck in a rut for so long that I think it's normal. I'm also fear change although I'm completely unhappy where my personal life and career. I also have no confidence in myself.

It's amazing how certain life experiences can knock a person down and make one jaded. When I was in my 20's to early 30's, I was so motivated to fight for what I want. The older I've gotten, however, the less motivated I have become. My therapy session today helped me realize that it's not about being motivated to do something, rather one action regardless of feelings. So I'm going to get a goal setting journal and take things slowly.

Miss FP,

You need to find a church which has more single men attending. Please don't get the idea I think all church people are perfect. I am in agreement with your mom in that having a church family is great for support. I have had so many people bring over dinner on nights when I was too sick to cook. Also if your faith in God is something you live by then ask God to help you find the right person. I can honestly say it worked for me. I was a lonely person who prayed to meet the right person for me. It worked. I don't want to get too religious here as it may be against forum rules.

I think it is amazing when all of you kind people open up about your needs and what it is you want out of life. I learn so much about people here on the forum. I truly am sorry for all that others go through. I go through much myself.

I want to say this. As long as you have your health, there is always hope. Believe me when you feel terrible most days and live in pain its so very hard to enjoy your life. I know everyone here is depressed or anxious. I am also. Just be thankful if otherwise your health is good.

I enjoy reading everyone's coping techniques and how they live their lives. I am sorry for each and everyone who is hurting. Truly I am. Depression and anxiety is so difficult to live with and through.

Please feel better everyone
dmo

I think it's never too late to change your life unless you're stuck in a nursing home with five days to live or something like that.

Don't wait for change to come. Instead, go out there and make changes. Achieve goals!

Some people say that it's too late for them to change their lives...to turn their lives around. And so many of them are wrong about that.

Thank you all for your kind and wise responses. Intellectually, I know that you are all right, but emotionally I don't feel it if I'm being totally honest. I just feel stuck in a rut in my career and not qualify at all for most positions I see.

Regardless, I forced myself to send out some resumes today. I'm just going to ignore my negative inner talk and just apply to any interesting job. I'm following my therapist's suggestion of sending out 3 resumes per week. Interestingly, most people, that I talk too, are also trying to transition to a different career. I guess most people are in a state of flux and are trying to figure out what to do with their lives.

As for my personal life, I'm trying to become a little more active within my church. I am now leading the single's ministry which I've never done before. I'm going to use the opportunity to think of outings for singles which I hope will lead me and others to develop friendships, etc. I don't if I'll ever meet someone romantically, but being single is not the end of the world

Someone once told me that if 'I don't like the direction my life is heading, change it'. Problem is I feel I don't know how sometimes. I'm not having pity-party for myself, but I really feel overwhelm at times on what and how to do it. I guess I'll have to figure this out at my next therapy session.

Good for you taking steps.

One thing to keep in mind, you may even want to write it down and keep on a mirror or refrigerator

I have read it in a few books.

"If You are looking for change, change what you are doing"

It is harder than it seems but little steps.

Peace
Trina

Check out the adult courses at local college or vocational schools. Look for the classes that are more 'unisex'...simple auto mechanics, woodworking, photography...at worst, you may make a new female friend and at best, you may meet a potential love interest and master a new skill/hobby. Also, you may find a class to help flesh out that resume, making you even more marketable.

County Parks usually offer group activities...bird/butterly walks/watches...hiking trails...water tours, etc. Check your town's historical group, too! Attend those 'community day' events. Cooking classes are another possibility as so many people are looking to eat healthier or try different cuisine. Pottery classes, painting classes/events...so many possibilities! Learning new things helps keep my brain active, so I 'win' either way!

I'm 'okay' alone...until bedtime...or I see a beautiful sunset that I'd love to 'share' with someone else. I only see my partner on the weekends...she is responsible for her mother...with no change on the horizon, which I'm fine with...but there are still those moments when it seems hopeless. We met in AA...but please...don't become an alkie like me just to vary your dating pool! lol P.S. I'm sober 24 years, she's sober 33 years.

hello forever positive,
I'm usually in epilepsy! I've looked here before but never had the nerve to type. Your not alone! I could be wrong but your situation in ways sounds similar to mine. I am calling it my mid life crisis. The last time I remember having this feeling was when I was to old for youth and the church had no singles group or other activities for people my age who weren't married. It's a feeling of not belonging anywhere, being unimportant and invisible, having missed seasons, and not being able to see any light at the end of the tunnel. You're right! This is a very hard fight because the reality of the situation always finds a way to reappear. You have been given very good advise on the site and I'm glad to see that you have taken it and started to change. Thank you for writing I needed to know I wasn't the only one thinking about change.

Welcome sunshine!!

I'm smiling.....filled with gratitude to see the gift of healing again....

Hugs! Forever

Hello ForeverPositive,
Your not alone !
The pandemic has had the same effect on me as well! It took reviewing some future goals and encouraging music to get me back on track. A couple of old and outdated songs I return to in times like these are This Is Your Time by Michael W. Smith ( to get me back on track ) and Desert rose by White Heart ( to remind me that I matter and I'm never alone ) I hope they have the same effect on you. Stay strong and keep on pressing on.