hi

Hi Avaroo,
where did you get that name from ??

It seems quiet about here, so i will try to answer some of your questions best i can, until someone else comes along,

First i would suggest you go and tell your Doctor about this, and have a look on the internet to educate yourself on Depression, because you are likely going to have to make choices about Meds and other therapies, and it's always best that you are in control of that. and to understand the pro's and con's,

If you can find ways to occupy yourself, i know thats going to be hard, but think about what you use to like, or what you always wanted to learn, any thing as long as it is something that you can push yourself and see a result at the end, that will make it worth it to some degree, and hold it tight,

how long it lasts depends on many things, you, the choices you make, the reasons for your depression etc

This is a great place to come, the people here are friendly, and will help you along the way, and you won't feel so alone

Hi avaroo,  I wanted to welcome you to Healing Well forum.  I see that you have already received some excellent advice so far from Brownleaf and Lyn.  When I am in a deep depression I too tend to not eat and focus on how my body feels.  Every ache and pain seems to be intensified which is weird but when you are drawing into yourself you will notice things you normally wouldn't.  I also would dwell on the thought of wishing I was never born and I had no purpose in life.  I would cry pretty much all the time and wouldn't talk anyone and isolate myself.  However, for me I always tend to come to a point where I say or think that I have torchered myself enough and go to the doctor for medication intervention.  And each time I am grateful as I truly believe that antidepressants have saved my life and given me back a quality of life that I would not of had otherwise. As brownleaf said there are websites that you can go to that explain depression and also that you can download a depression questionnaire or survey to take to the doctor with you (if you do decide to go).  It will get better, you just have to help yourself to get better when your dealing with depression.  In the meantime we are here for you....take care

Thanks for all the responses.  I really appreciate it.  I am at home today.  Had to leave work because I couldn't stop crying.  I hope and pray that things will get better.  I don't see an end to it because I am in such a bad situation.  See, I work at my fathers company and have a sucessful, high paying job that I used to really like.  about a year ago I got my boyfriend a job with our company because it was always his dream to work there.  He started right off at the top, working alongside my father and for awhile things were going well.  about 2 1/2 months ago, we mutually decided that things weren't working.  I wanted to work things out, but he wanted out of the relationship.   He comes and goes from work without a care in the world where as every day is a constant struggle for me.  Having to see him is a constant reminder, and so that is why I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I have been to docotors, and been on so many medications that I can't even count them all.  I see a psychologist who changes my medications up weekly.  My last one she gave me was called dekapote and if you read the label it says its for controlling seizures(which I do not suffer from).  I have been on lexapro too but she took me off it.  I am on my 4th counselor and I really like him.  I am hoping he will be able to help some.  I know this is alot that I have typed.  It feels good to type it.  Somedays like today I get this feeling that I can't describe and it is so overwhelming and unbearable I dont know how I can go on.  But I am glad to know I am not alone.

Hi Avaroo,  The next time you go see your psychiatrist you may want to ask her point blank what your actual diagnosis is.  The reason being for that is this...Geodon (this is the correct spelling) is a relatively new medication and it is prescribed for Bipolar Mania or Schizophrenia.  Also, as atedogs stated in her post Depakote is either prescribed for Seizures or Bipolar.  Yes, it can be cross used for other diagnoses but you wont see it used for depression hardly ever.  I think that for you to be able to work with a physician and them to correctly communicate with you and prescribe your medications they need to make sure that you are informed of your diagnosis and what your dealing with up front.  It is in no way your fault but with her say "its a mood disorder" doesnt even come close explaining to you what diagnosis she has reached. As for the ex boyfriend the only thing I can say is that if he has not done anything to warrant termination of employment than that shouldn't be an issue.  This is why it is cautioned not to get involved or have romantic involvements in the workplace as when the relationship ends it tends to get uncomfortable.  Maybe you could go out with some friends and try to socialize some perhaps this would make you feel better.  Try to do something nice just for yourself and concentrate on yourself instead of some guy.  Take care and let us know how it goes....