i guess you can say i have a image disorder. i think i'm ugly. i hate my face. my boyfriend is sick of hearing it. he tells me it's like a thin girl saying she's fat. i don't care, i still hate the way i look plus i'm the one that has to live with myself, i need to be happy with my image. i want plastic surgery to fix this, but thats far away b/c i can't get a full time job (b/c of a medical reason, which i hope gets fixed soon and i'm scared of surgery). he's not happy about me wanting this, nor would my family. i know i can't change my whole face and i'm not about to, the only thing i can/want is to fix my recessed chin and the bump on my nose. so mean while as i go through day by day i like to look at beautiful girls online (at myspace) and wish i looked like them, i get so depressed, i don't know why i do this to myself. but now i have a new problem, my boyfriends thinks i'm looking at guys. i tried to explain to him, but he thinks i'm lieing and i'm worried he will think i'm gay (which i'm not). he just doesn't get it, he thinks it's all about him. im so sick of it, i feel he will never understand my depression (there is more problems to my depression than just this). i feel so alone, he doesn't want to hear me complain any more. i am seeing a therapist but when i told her about this she kind of blew it off and wanted to talking about my other problems. this is kind of ruining my relationship with my boyfriend b/c i don't like to be affectionate or sexy b/c i just feel really stupid. i spend most my time at home and i have really no interaction with ppl at work or much when i was in school, i have no friends (or ever had), and my only sister lives to far away and we aren't close any more. i'm just really alone. i've been depressed for 14 years, i'm 23 right now. it's hard to see the point in trying anymore.
sorry if this is hard to read, i have a learning disability and it's sometimes hard for my to express myself with words.