HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

I need help

Support Forums
>
Depression
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 6/2/2006 1:38 PM (GMT 0)
Hi I am currently very depressed. I have suffered with this for the past eight years but in between bouts of severe depression I have felt really good and my old self again(sometimes I wonder if im bipolar?). These periods have been for 4-5 months then depressed for the rest of the year. Anyway im frustrated with myself ,ashamed id even go so far as to say somtimes I hate myself. I have thought about suicide but i could never bring myself to do it although many times I wish I would never wake up. I sleep for hours and hours when depressed like10 to 16 to block out the depression and then that just gets into a vicious cycle. I dont want to go on meds cause i dont want to be adicted to a drug. i have used 5htp and found that good, does any one have any experience with that how long to take it etc. i havent worked in a full time job for the last eight years even though degreed and thought of as capable by people. im worn down by this pathetic state but feel I cant get out. When I do get out I start to get somewhere and then it cripples me im 31 now and i feel its wasted alot of my life. i so wish I had a psycologist to help me but i cant afford it. I dont want to be a failure but somtimes I think maybe thats what i am. I hav spent times when i wouldnt go out of the house for days and ive cut off most of my friends as i feel i unconfident at socialising. My mum reckons itsa such waste and it is. She is a big part of my life and shes moving to another country which has really made me feel worse as i live with her and my brother. My brother is going with her Ihavent been asked. I do have a boyfriend and he is very kind andunderstanding but i find it hard to even go and see him somtimes. Any help would be gratefully accepted.
Posted 6/2/2006 2:00 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Crystal,  Welcome to healing well.  We are very close in age, I am 32 and have depression also.  I can relate to the feeling of wishing I wouldn't wake up somedays.  Although it has been quite sometime since I have have made this wish.  By your post it really sounds to me as if you do indeed suffer from depression and possibly some anxiety disorder.  You may want to consider seeing a physician regarding it.  You state that you dont want to be addicted to medications but it is important to note that antidepressants are not addictive.  Also, not everyone has the potential to become addicted or carry addictive traits to any medications, so unless you have a prior history of poly-substance abuse or alcohol abuse then addiction should not be a worry.  I dont know anything about 5-htp so I am no help there, sorry.  I dont personally believe that herbs aid in the treatment of depression.  This is my own opinion though.  Please do feel free to continue to post we would love to hear more from you.  I am sure that some of our other members will post to you soon also.  Take care.
Posted 6/2/2006 2:12 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you very much els for your reply. It means alot to hear from someone who can relate to this. I appreciate your advice on meds. i just worry about them as a friend was on them for a few years, and when she tried to get off them she felt terrible. But i do want out of this situation I just dont know if thats the answer. I do know that its gone on too long. thanx again els
Posted 6/2/2006 2:18 PM (GMT 0)
You are very welcome Crystal.  The feelings your friend had was side effects of coming off an antidepressant and yes, it is pretty common for most of us to feel terrible for the first week or two afterward.  But is isn't withdrawal by any means it is just the serotonin levels in your brain returning to its normal levels which when you have depression it is low.  There are many people who choose not to take medications and go the natural route and are quite successful with it. 
Posted 6/2/2006 3:26 PM (GMT 0)

Hi, Crystal!

I know it may sound cliche' but I think it is a good comparison: If you were diabetic, would you not take insulin because you would have to take it, possibly for the rest of your life? I've been on zoloft for over 10 years. I don't plan to come off of it. The only way would be if it lost it's effectiveness and the doctor put me on another anti-depressant. I can remember how bad I felt before the zoloft kicked in...really bad! If I had to choose between being "addicted" and feeling okay or not being "addicted" and feeling miserable all the time, I'd choose "addicted" every single time! yeah

Life is all about choices. Sometimes our choices are limited and we have to choose between the lesser of "two evils". Of course, only you have the right to make that choice in regards to yourself, but when you weigh your options, be sure you have good resources and reliable info. Have you ever discussed your feelings about meds with a psychiatrist? Your fear may be unfounded and it would be so sad that you were walking around feeling terrible based on misinformation or possible prejudices influenced by some that don't really have all the facts. Please take care of yourself and I hope that you will go to a doctor or seek counseling. Get some relief! You deserve it! :-)

janet

Posted 6/2/2006 3:36 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you janet I will have a good think about what you had to say. I've often wondered if it would be the lesser of the two evils. I appreciate your opinion.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply