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confused about feelings for boyfriend

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Posted 6/5/2006 2:51 AM (GMT 0)
i there

i'm a female in my mid 20's. i suffered from depression when i was 18 and went onto aropax which seemed to help me. i was on the meds for about a year and came off them and thought i was fine. i am now 24 and in jan met an amazing guy. we just recently went on an island holiday together and had the best holiday ever and when we got back i got those symptoms again of depression, crying, no apetite, unable to concentrate, feelings of guilt. i confessed to him some of the guilt that i was carrying around in my head about things that happened in my past and that helped a lot, i also told him about the depression and he was really understanding. i went to the doc and got put back on the aropax again and am feeling a lot better but i get these knots in my stomach whenever my boyfriend touches me or says something really deeply emotional to me. i just can't understand how 3 weeks ago i was falling madly in love with this guy and now i'm having these really weird feelings towards him??? is this normal?? just really want to know if it is the depression and if it will go away and í'll be able to have normal loving feelings for him again?? sad

Posted 6/5/2006 3:49 AM (GMT 0)

Your body is trying to tell you something. I wouldn't just brush it off. I would listen to it and try and determine what it is trying to tell you. When that happens to me, it is usually for a reason. It doesn't necessarily mean anything bad about your relationship with this guy, but worth listening to.

Take Care,

Terri

Posted 6/5/2006 5:29 AM (GMT 0)
Kiwigirl,  Maybe you are worried about opening up so quickly to him.  Don't get me wrong being open with him is the right thing to do.  But now you wonder if you told him too much too soon.  It sounds as if he didn't run, so you have to believe he does care for you.  The knots in the stomach, maybe it's a side effect from the med..  Not physical symptoms, but mental- most depression meds do alter your want for being touched,making love etc..  Were you in a relationship the last time you were on these meds?, and if so did you experience the same kind of feelings?  Take it one day at a time and see how it goes.  I wish you all the love you can handle. krocks

Posted 6/5/2006 12:23 PM (GMT 0)
kiwigirl,

Could it be shame issues? You opened up to him, now he knows all. Remember that he loves and accepts you as you are and continue treating your depression while allowing him to love you unconditionally. Perhaps you are not familiar with unconditional love and acceptance and your outpouring of guilt has now hampered your ability for those feelings of closeness that you had initially in the relationship? I'm only grasping here, at the typical.

You are not what you did (whatever it was). Many times we imagine things that we have done are much worse than they are as well. Focus on your values and character today. It's not about the "do," it's about the "who." Who are you today? You sound like a very sweet and caring person that deserves to be happy!!

: )

~ Cindy
Posted 6/5/2006 1:21 PM (GMT 0)
I would suggest you stop seeing each other for a little while, well maybe 2 weeks or so. relax and try to embrace nature , swim, play yoga or aerobis or go to the gym, anything to keep you buesy, you could also visit some relavtives or go to another city if you have friends their.

take some time and think if he is the right guy for you. study his qualities, and how is he running his life etc

Then you could come back to him and see if you still suffer from him touching you. if you have the same problem try and relax , maybe change the atmosphere, like go have a shower toghether and see what happens :P
Posted 6/5/2006 2:31 PM (GMT 0)
Hi kiwigirl,  Welcome to Healing Well forum, we are happy to have you.  I see that you have received some excellent feedback to your post so far.  I am by no means an expert in the relationship department and struggle with these type of issues myself.  I think perhaps Neurotransmissing has summed it upped best.  I would also suggest talking to your boyfriend about these feelings that your having now.  I do realise it is difficult to put into words and then you have the fear of hurting their feelings but it is important to let him know if something is making you uncomfortable.  No matter how temporary (hopefully) it may be.  Take care
Posted 6/5/2006 5:09 PM (GMT 0)
Relationships can be very exciting when they are new. You may have been falling in "like" instead of in "love". For me love is a long distance from like and it takes quite a while to get there. I would talk to him about it because the relationship won't go anywhere if you cringe when he touches you. Maybe you just need to go slow for now. I hope it works out soon.
Posted 6/7/2006 7:03 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks so much for all your advice, it's great just to have some feedback. am actually away for work for 2 weeks so won't see him for a while, hopefully when i get back i'll be able have a clearer view of my feelings!! fingers crossed. do think i need to just work on getting me back to normal and my old chirpy self before i can even think of a long term future with someone so i'm just going to have to take it day by day. thanks again for all your advice. it's great to know there are sites like this around!
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