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do you hide how bad you really feel?

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Posted 6/8/2006 11:45 PM (GMT 0)
Nobody really knows how bad I feel because I hide it most of the time. Do you do it too? Why do you hide it?

I hide mine because I am afraid and ashamed.

                                                                  Rae

Posted 6/9/2006 3:43 AM (GMT 0)
Rae,

Everybody does from time-to-time. It's important to be open about it, but only with trustworthy people. In short, we can't be open with everyone, that's not healthy either; don't trust untrustworthy people, trust is earned. Those of us that suffer from emotional difficulties are especially vulnerable to fall into this trap, so I can understand where you're coming from.

You don't have to tell all and be open to everyone about everything, however, it is important to share openly and honestly with your chosen trustworthy few ... and in the healthy sense with those that may feel the impact of your condition.

Trust issues our common with many of us; it's important to find that healthy balance and it can be very difficult as we practice, ever sliding from one end of the spectrum to the other.

Start small, practice, and do it piecemeal ... I can only suggest what has worked for me. I'm pretty much an open book these days, but that wasn't always the case. However, at present I am better able to gauge the situations that could be risky ... realistically ... and not based solely on my own fears, my issue.

Best of luck to you. Everybody has this problem, even those that don't have any emotional difficulties whatsoever. The only difference is in the degrees.

: )

~ Cindy
Posted 6/9/2006 11:22 PM (GMT 0)
Rae,

I read your post, and I felt like I should reply. I've been dealing with my depression for about 8 years. In the past, I coped by hiding my feelings. Over time, I have realized that hiding my feelings make me feel worse. Finding a good therapist that will work with you and work to understand what you are feeling does wonders. Also, my general practice doctor has been really great getting my treatment started. I hope this helps a little...
Posted 6/10/2006 12:12 AM (GMT 0)
I've had major depression now for 13 years. I try to hide it but it just comes out. Right now I feel sick with acid reflux and don't have the energy to bother hiding it. Of course I live near New England and people are polite but not open. I am originally from New York City where you can let it all hang out. Actually that is the healthiest psychologically but because of pollution, etc. (I'm an asthmatic) I can't be there. Besides it is REAL EXPENSIVE. I agree with scarletangel to find a good therapist. It can be extremely helpful.
Posted 6/10/2006 6:33 AM (GMT 0)
Rae,

Again, nobody is "totally" open; I see those only in the realm of medical and "more common."

Whether folks choose to admit this fact or not ... not one person does not feel the reluctance of "telling all" when you get into individual/independent issues and experiences; whether it/they be day-to-day, or one-time-only "tremendously painful traumas."

If anyone tries to imply otherwise .... uhhhmmm ..... you do know ........

......  so not to worry.

Life is not "always" a rose garden, it's real life ... for everyone. There will always be trials and tribulations ... but it's all important to also recognize the blessings! The good, the bad, and the ugly.

And that ... good and bad, (please choose good) ... is a fact of LIFE!

: )

No sugarcoating, however, we can ... in fact ... make good of all experiences based on perspective; however we simply cannot pretend we are "immune" from pain, thus denying our humanity ... uhhhmmm ... because that's bull ..... or better said, "fake it 'til you make it?!"  A temporary solution.  Choices ... choices ... choices .....

...... best left and/or given the long term consequences (there always will be).



: )

~ Cindy

Edit/P.S.  More feedback here:  https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=511402

Posted 6/10/2006 3:01 PM (GMT 0)
trio I I mask alot of my feelings.   Sometimes because I cant deal with judgement and othertimes with pitty.   Exposing my feelings is a vulnerability that I can not always allow to happen.  Trust issues for me:  I have to trust that those feelings and episodes want be used against me later.

Posted 6/11/2006 12:44 AM (GMT 0)
You know we live in a society that is not kind to sick people in general. I hid my asthma too so I could continue working. I do not know of any place which has a lot of sympathy for the ailing though so I might as well be here. Guess there is still a stigma attached to "mental illness" but those people are very misinformed. Going back in time, they thought it was a character flaw, now they are more or less convinced it has a chemical component. Sometimes I feel this dark hungry hole in my heart but do others? Maybe...few are willing to open up that far.
Best wishes to all
Posted 6/11/2006 1:44 AM (GMT 0)
yea i hide mine from some of the people that i know. my family mostly. some of my friends know that i haev cut my self only once but i have cut my self many times. it hate it

Posted 6/11/2006 11:43 AM (GMT 0)
I hide sometimes, because i don't want to trouble my family even more, sometimes i tell them and i regret later.
Posted 6/11/2006 8:32 PM (GMT 0)
I hide things that I dont want anyone to know for all different kinds of reasons.  When I got sick with MS my job at the time knew of course but they didnt know that I had depression, anxiety/panic...my boss knew I had OCD since I was always washing my hands .  I hide things from my mom that I feel personally to protect her.  I dont want to hurt her.  I hide my smoking from her to protect myself so she doesnt hurt me... .  (I have cut down)
Posted 6/14/2006 3:27 AM (GMT 0)
T- I tried to hide how bad I felt but it usually

 sliped out as tears-leaving everyone wondering why I'm so sensitive all the time. It was hard to express how bad I was feeling until I got some help and started feeling "not bad"

Its good to feel not bad that's for sure- you don't have to suffer -

wishing you peace.

Peaceout  

Posted 6/16/2006 12:13 PM (GMT 0)
I did that since I was 12 years old (I am gag36gag now).
But,I somehow came out of my shell persay and have started not totally hiding. I know I drive my kids and my b/f crazy sometimes when I have a meltdown.But it feels good to talk for once.
And it just seems like the words and the tears just keep flowing once I start.
I know it is not healthy to keep everything inside. I still beleive that is why I am doing somewhat ok with not being on meds at least right now.
It is still hard though. I will tell my b/f something that has been freaking me out for a month,and he gets upset because it took me that long to meltdown.
And quite frankly,I have found that wine,mixed with so much to say but never saying it,makes it all come out.
Posted 6/23/2006 12:12 AM (GMT 0)

Thats actually a really gd question.

Why do we hide it.. no one knows that im depressed. cause im soo happy and over the top.

but do u not think that if u did express it... that ppl would support u?

Posted 6/23/2006 10:49 PM (GMT 0)
Quite a few of my family members have suffered from depression, so I hide how I'm feeling because I don't want to worry anyone. I also find that a lot of people think that depression means feeling low, and so they think I'm over-reacting. It just makes me feel worse when I'm told that "everyone feels low sometimes but they don't complain about it." I've had some of my 'friends' say that to me.
Posted 6/25/2006 7:33 AM (GMT 0)
Sounds like you carry a heavy burden.

Understand that feeling guilt and shame are part of the problem. That's part of Depression. Aren't we lucky?

Most people do hide their Depression, i forget the actual number but it's a lot more than half. And there's a huge variety of reasons why. A friend of mine hides her depression so people won't rag on her or pester her about it; or irritate her by trying to make her "feel better".

For me, i don't bother. I really don't have the energy to wear a mask; if someone doesn't like me 'cause i'm depressed -they can get out of my face, and that person wouldn't have become my friend anyway (no compassion, no sensitivity, no understanding, no empathy, etc.). Oh yah, and i really suck at hiding what i feel.
No connection that you make with someone is going to be real, which you'll find out if your mask ever falls off 'cause that person will bail on you.
I prefer to be upfront (at the right moment) about it; i don't like to feel abandoned or heart-broken, i'd rather have someone walk away now, than 6 months or a year from now 'cause i know that's going to hurt me a lot worse.

Poet
Posted 6/25/2006 11:28 AM (GMT 0)
I do , I got angry with my friends ( on the internet ) and we have bin argueing for at least 3 days. I feel terrible when I think about it. my mother and father don't know but they noticed that I am feeling down lately.
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