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Terrible day, need some help

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Posted 6/18/2006 1:46 AM (GMT 0)
I have been feeling so much better lately, but form the time I awoke this morning until now, I've done nothing but intermittent crying and thinking thoughts about no future for myself. I miss my children who are all in N.Y.,and I haven't got to see them in a year, it's like everything has hit me all at once and I can't see the future. I'd call one of them ages 24,20,and 17 but I'd scare them half to death with all of the crying. My family here doesn't understand and are of no help at any other time, so why would they be now. I know this is venting again, but I'm kind of sscaring myself and needed someone to talk to.
Posted 6/18/2006 3:25 AM (GMT 0)
Hi, Kris!
I know it must be very difficult for you...I never had the privilege of having children, but I know how much I love my nieces....
Maybe you should just sit down and write them each a letter. Everyone loves to get a letter from a loved one and then when you get to feeling better, give them a call! :)
As to your future, it doesn't have to depend on having your children around. And if it really, really does, maybe you could move close to them. But always remember that there are other ways to be needed. Could you volunteer to read to children at the library or volunteer at a school? Could you visit a nursing home and bring a little cheer to the folks there? Your life does matter! If you get too overly depressed, think about how you've had some good days and that you will again! I have to remind myself of that constantly when my anxiety crops up real bad...and if necessary, call a crisis hotline. please take care of yourself and know that people really do care! And although your kids live in NY, they still do need their mom very much!
janet
Posted 6/18/2006 5:09 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much janette, I made it through the night and things are a little better today. My oldest daughter  called me today, and I just busted out crying again. But we had a good talk and I know how much I am loved. I havent had a panic attack like that for a long time. I so appreciate your concern, you sound like a very nice person. God Bless you. Krista

Posted 6/19/2006 8:14 AM (GMT 0)
hi kriss44,
I'm sure you can get over it , well I hope so. just have to try harder ok... try walking and maybe even get a dog to come walk with you . Try swimming or gym excersize then a hot bath should feel very good.

Meet up with your friends and have a good time with them.

If I am down friends always cheer me up and let me look difrently at life.
Posted 6/19/2006 12:19 PM (GMT 0)
hi kris, i know how u r feeling to, ihave one of my girls live with me the other has left home she is 20.I had seemed to be feeling better but just recently i have been waking up with a panic attack at it is scaring me too.Why do we start to feel better then go back down again, i dont know?U know u will feel better againjust remmember no one ever died from a panic attack. I also dont like to put my probs on my kids they do occasionally suprise me and want to talk about my depression.So hang in there hun.lobx
Posted 6/20/2006 3:34 PM (GMT 0)
yeah  Thank you both for your concern and support, I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner,I have the flu and on top of this, but i am much better. I went to my doc yesterday and she figured out most of my problems. My regular doc had me on Klonapin for quite a while and then referred me to the psychiatrist and she didn't want me on addictive meds so,she  was going to taper me of at yeaterdays appt. But a scheduling mix up, I ran out five days before I posted. She said this meds had alot of withdrawel symptoms! and I guess it does. I told her if I made it through that part I didn't want it any more. I'm still having symptoms, but not anythig as bad as that night. p.s. My oldest is coming to see me next week! Thanks again, Krista
Posted 6/20/2006 5:31 PM (GMT 0)

 Hey! Krista,

I know exactly what you are talking about. I have been dealing and feeling the same way for the past few months....... It sucks when you cant even explain why you are upset or crying... If ya need to talk you can e-mail me at [email protected] or catch me on AOL instant messanger at either Devilslifeishell or Lissanny2005.......... Anything else let me know..... Later, Melissa

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