Does it get easier?

Hi,

I have suffered from clinical depression for 3 and a half years. I was diagnosed about 2 years ago. I felt really ill a short while later, cold, shaky, weak, very tired and sick. My brother called an ambulance and my parents found out. I was released from hospital at about 6am after monitoring. One of the doctors asked me about s-h so my parents found out about that too. I wasn't planning on really hurting myself - I just wanted to stop feeling so angry and to feel normal again. I slept through the rest of monday, and woke up in the evening - about 5pm. My parents kept checking on me throughout the evening until we all went to bed about 9:30. Most of today they seem to have been pretending that it never happened.

I've been feeling a bit better and I haven't had any mood swings (apart from being tearful) but I'm worried about my parents and my brother as we've all had a very difficult time over the past four years. I didn't tell them how bad I was feeling because I didn't want to worry them, but now I think I've just made it worse. I'm not sure what to do to make it easier for us all. My older brother also suffered from depression, as did my younger brother. My dad was also very depressed for a time (my depression started at around the same time). My mum just holds everything in so I don't know how she's feeling. I'm especially worried about my brother because he's been depressed before and I don't want him to do it again, or reach the stage that I'm at.

Can anyone give me any advice on how to deal with all of this, and how can I say sorry to my family for hurting them? [img]/community/emoticons/sad.gif[/img]

Thanks,

Honehe


Hi honehe, I'm sorry but I had to edit part of your post due to forum rules and guidelines #1 of no discussion of self-injury or suicide intended or not. There are many teens that post on this forum and we wouldn't want them to become influenced by something that we posted that was graphic in nature. Please do understand..Thank you. Elisha

Post Edited (Honehe) : 6/20/2006 4:47:46 PM (GMT-6)

Thank you for your advice, I feel a bit better knowing someone understands, I haven't really been able to talk to anyone about it all. I'm seeing the hospital psychiatrist tomorrow.

I probably need to read the forum rules again - sorry about that.

Thanks

Hnoehe

I had stopped having mood swings since Monday when I was in hospital but now I've started feeling angry again - not as often as last week but I suppose I'm worried that I'll feel as bad as I did then. I've managed to lose half a stone in weight partly because I've been nervous and partly because I haven't had mood swings - I always get a burst of energy when I get angry, which means I put on weight. I'm a bit worried that I'll put the weight back on because my mum always nags me to lose weight even though I exercise and don't eat much. Any ideas on how to sort these problems?

Part of this wonderful experience (sarcasm) is feeling guilty over anything. So understand that part of the guilt isn't real, i mean it feels real but that doesn't mean you actualy DID something wrong.
You need to find a way to work around it -if you succeed, let me know how.

Nobody can blame you for the way you feel. Feelings just are. They come, they go, they change; we don't control what we feel. You can only control what you do -and in certain circumstances, not even that. But you are not responsible for how you feel or how your brother feels.

Hon you sound like you have a lot to deal with, and i'm sorry for that. If you ever feel like emailing me, feel free to do so.

Poet

that's great Honehe,  I am glad your feeling better and looking into some counseling services.  Keep posting and letting us know how your doing...