Depression and Dating

Hi Ya Rage, Welcome to healing well forum, we are happy to have you join us here. It seems that you have some idea about what you need to do to help yourself such as thearpy and possibly medication if you and your physician deem necessary. Depression is a serious disorder and rejection can make it so much worse also can major life changes like your recent move. 

I cant help much with the dating advice as I am so disfunctional in this area...but I do know that you have to work on being happy or comfortable with yourself first inorder to have a good relationship with someone else. 

Posting here is a good and positive thing as you can get many differant perspectives, suggestions, advice and support. So I hope you can use this site as your "happy place" to go to when you need it. Looking forward to seeing more from you...take care

I agree with everything said so far. I think you need to stop focussing on looking for that "special someone" as you put it. Sometimes when you are trying too hard, everything backfires. It sounds like what you need most is to learn to "love thyself". A "special relationship" is not there to simply boost your self-esteem. A "special relationship" is a give and take of looking after each others needs. You cannot rely solely on a partner to give you self-esteem and make you feel good about yourself. It's too much to ask of any one person. Therefore, you may find taking yourself out of the dating game for awhile, focussing on yourself, building your self-esteem as mentioned above, figuring out who you are, what makes you tick, what makes you interesting, what makes you happy, and you know what, once you are in a comfortable place, that special someone may show up when you are least expecting it, because that person will be able to see you for what you are and you will be able to build a healthy relationship that's built on mutual respect for each other. You can't hang all your hats on someone else's coat rack, after awhile, they're just going to get fed up with having to carry all your baggage. The bottom line is, if you dont' respect yourself, no one else will. It's tough love.

I do think you are on the right track with the therapy and what not though. See your doctor if you have concerns about your meds, but meds alone will not solve your problems. They just make it so you can function enough to work on your problems.

And remember, everyone is beautiful. And supermodels and such, are all air brushed to perfection! They are not "real", but you are! Be true to yourself.

Hi Rage -

I have to agree with you, depression and dating do not seem to go together.  I mean when we're feeling depressed we don't always have the energy to flirt, but we still want to be understood and still crave compassion.  I think it boils down to how much we're willing to risk at a certain point in time.  I mean when I'm feeling outgoing and spontaneous, I'm much more likely to flirt.  Whereas, when I'm feeling anxious and self-conscience I'd rather look at the fake plants in the room than anyone around me!  But, one of things I've realized recently is I can change the way I view the world.  I mean - if I want to be that fun and outgoing person I can be, but if I'd rather be alone I can choose not to socialize as well.  It's all about choice and as long as I'm the one who is comfortable with that choice and the consequences that follow (perhaps he won't flirt back - if he doesn't it's his loss) than I'm the one in control of the situation rather than the disease controling me.