hello

Hello,

Hello, I just singed up so I hope you don't mind me posting here.  You all seem to know what you are doing and right now I feel pretty clueless.  I just think I need to start taking steps forward rather than backward.  Im 34 and have had yet another really bad year.  I don't have anyone to talk to besides my husband who is the most upbeat, laid back 'water off a ducks back' kind of guy I know. He just keeps telling me not to worry, I love him dearly, but I don't feel he understands what it is like to feel so sad.  I have never seen anyone (doctors) as I have always managed to supress everything and be what everyone else needs me to be, but now I just feel like it would be great to just disappear (I am not suicidal, I just want to crawl in a hole!).  Is this normal?  Can anyone tell me what you are doing to beat this?  Do these feelings stay forever?  I feel so lost in life.

I have catergorised and compartmentalised and generally tried to tackle one thing at a time, but it just doesn't seem to be working.

I could really do with some ideas if you have time to share.

Thanks

Hello,
Thanks for replying. I know it makes sense and I keep telling myself the same, it just seems so hard to do. Do you ever feel like your problems are trivial and that you should just get on with it? "There is always someone worse of thatn you" type of feelings? I keep thinking this and perhaps I shouldn't. I guess I may not be facing the realities myself.

I struggle to believe that I am here for me and not everyone else. How sad is that, it sounds ridiculous saying it 'out loud', but I just can't seem to shift the balance. God I feel like I need to rant!

Thanks for your comments, its nice to talk to someone that understands.

Hi,

Welcome.  A lot of people here know how you feel and you are not alone.

I would encourage you to talk with your doctor.  There are physical causes for depression and your doctor can help rule things out.  There are chemical imbalances, hormonal imbalances and even simple deficiencies that can make you feel really bad.  So please talk with a doctor.  There are self-assessment checklists online that you can print off and show your doctor; it's a good place to start.

I disagree with the philosophy, "You are put on the earth to make yourself happy", but I do agree that you need to take care of yourself and address your needs, especially if you have a family.  Sort of the "put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you help your seat-partner" on-a-plane analogy.

I also understand about your husband.  They can't "fix" us (even though they'd like to).  Just let him know that you're feeling overwhelmed right now and give him some practical things that can help. 

And, please, talk to a doctor.  It can get better.

(hugs)

HI Wizzer, yes, alot of us here know exactly what you are going through. I hope your doctors appt. goes well. I have had a really bad few months and the doc put me on prozac. It seems to help, but doesn't take everything away, but at least I can move forward.
I tell myself all the time that there are people out there with many more problems that me and why am I so depressed? Don't supress things, if nothing else come here and type away. I does help a bit to get it out.

Well, I went and now I get to spend the next two months sharing my life with something called Fluoxetine as a starting point.  Is this a downhill spiral or the road to recovery?  Do you every truly recover and move on or do your thoughts and the drugs manage to haunt you forever?  Feeling a little optimistic, a little low and a little bewildered too right now.  I can’t believe that I have finally told someone how I am doing (or not doing as may be the case right now) I don’t think I would have done it without reading the positive encouragement from you all – thanks for the ‘push’.  Doc reckons I should write it all down, anyone done that and found it helped?  Not sure I see the reasoning on that.

My auto spell checker doesn’t recognise Fluoxetine, keeps trying to change it to ‘flexitime’ – now there is a thought!

Does anyone know what this drug is?  I guess I’ll go off and investigate a bit.  PS My husband has just gotten very upset at the thought of me taking these - he thinks they are dangerous, any suggestions?  I can’t have him feeling like he is failing too.

Hugs

Hi Mrs Griffin, its definately Fluoxetine, (Fluoxetine hydrochloride) just found it on the net - better known as the good old fashoined Prozac. At least I know what I am taking now. Not looking forward to some of the side effect listed, but if it does the job...

How are you doing today? I feel very selfish thinking about me all the time lately. I hope can show the same level of moral support you (all) have given me sometime.

Re: Journals    Absolutely a good idea.  Not only to track how you are adjusting to new meds, but as an opportunity to vent and to explore feelings that pop up out of nowhere.  Sometimes I find journal entries to be a kind of automatic writing, just a thinking/processing through my fingertips, bypassing my conscious mind and tapping into some root causes.  Since these writings are private (I email myself) and password protected, there is no anxiety about what it written or how it may appear to anyone else .. and spelling isn't an issue, lol.

Hope ya'll are feeling better soon.  Keep on track with making Self the priority - it's lots easier to live with yourself that way.

I can totally relate to what you are dealing with. I myself have suffered severe depression for what seems like an eternity. As it is, I am sitting here at the computer and it is 2am, and I should have been in bed at least 2 hrs ago, but I'm avoiding it because I feel so horrible. At least being here I'm focussed on something else, lying in bed, I'm focussed on the negativity. And keeping a written log is definitely helpful for me. I am a "writer" by nature and when I feel like everything has built up so much inside that I'm just going to scream, the only way I seem to be able to ease the pressure is to let some of it flow out through my pen onto the paper or through my finger tips onto the computer screen. So I encourage you to write out your feelings and vent, as they say. It can also help you work through jumbled emotions so that when you try to deal with the problem or talk to someone else about it, it's easier to explain, clearer in your head. I hope the medication is helping. I find at first it's wonderful but if you don't actually do anything about what's causing the depression, you'll only end up on more drugs. So you can't just rely on the drugs to make you better. You need to learn to talk about your feelings and if coming here helps and is a good starting point, then we're here to listen. I can say that from experience. Over the last year and a half, my EffexorXR has gone from 75mg to 225mg, and my doctor is now adding tryptan to the mix to try to help the Effexor work better. I sometimes feel like I'm fighting a losing battle, but then my kids make me laugh and I know that I have to keep fighting no matter what horrible stray thought might pop into my head. But I also need to find a balance where my needs, my dreams, my wants, are being looked after. I'm glad you have a supportive husband. If he is concerned about your medications, take him with you to your next appointment. The doctor might be able to ease his worries. At least he's worried about you!!!! I'm having a hard time getting any kind of a reaction out of my husband.... And that's a hugely frustrating point for me. I want to talk to him and tell him how I'm feeling but I am afraid he won't have the time for me or he'll brush me off or he'll fall asleep and I'll end up talking to what might as well be an empty room again! Anyways, I do need to force myself to go to bed, maybe getting up and moving around will help these overwhelming feelings of sadness dissipate a little. It's like a set of 100lb weights sitting on my shoulders... And part of the problem is, I don't want to go to work tomorrow.... Anyways, I hope the drugs are helping you think clearer. Write as much as you want, I know I do!!!!! And most importantly, take care of yourself! You'll never get better if you don't learn to make yourself a priority from time to time. My best years have been when I've found the time to look after myself... But in the last year and a half since my mother-in-law's death, I have definitely not been spending enough time looking after myself and that's part of the problem. So look after yourself.... I mean it!

slowly