I dont understand?

So, I lead a really good life, but for some reason I'm not at ALL happy. I just stay awake till four in the morning sometimes crying randomly wondering what is so wrong with me. I want to go to a doctor or something just because I'm not understanding any of this but I don't know how to tell my family that their daughter that is always smiling and happy, is really just putting on a front. I have no one to talk to to because only like 2 of my friends have seen me cry. No one knows how I really feel inside. Their are some days when I just don't even try in the morning, I feel like I'm so ugly and that I have absolutly no purpose in life. I just really want some one to talk to about all this. Why do I feel this way, what is wrong with me. Before I moved I was always out with friends, going to concerts, the mall, just hanging out, I had so much energy. Now all I want to do is lay in my bed and just sleep my life away. I wont lie, I don't exactlly understand how to use this site, I just really wanted someone to talk to and some way to write what I was feeling, and right about now I feel worthless, and I'm tired of putting on a front of being this happy girl with a perfect life, I want someone to see me and that I am NOT happy!!

Hollisterchick,

I too cry myself to sleep some nights and feel like I have to put on a front because friends and family just don't understand.

I however, have found great comfort in this messageboard in the short time I have been apart of it because here I know I am not alone.

Regardless of whether or not you talk to your family and friends about your depression, you need to find help to deal with it. I have been in therapy in the past and it does make an impact on the road to health.