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Posted 1/25/2007 2:30 PM (GMT 0)
I've been feeling down lately , empty , like someone's stolen my soul.

The thing is , usually when I go into depression it stays until it's finished - but recently I have been up/down/up/down through the day , I've never had this happen before apart from when I've been upset.......but the depression usually lasts for a few days.

It's like my whole personality changes from bright and bubbly , energetic , to lathargic , melanchotic..........

I'm not looking for answers.........I just wanted to tell someone.

Thanks.

Posted 1/25/2007 3:52 PM (GMT 0)
Hi smiler, it is nice to see you post over here :-) .  I have a very close friend with bipolar who has to take medication for both his bipolar disorder and depression.  When he was only on the one med for bipolar he noticed changes in his mood where he would become depressed and feel extremely down then times when his mood lifted but never getting to that manic phase.  He spoke with his doctor about it and went on an antidepressant in combination with his other med and it has helped him greatly.

I dont know what meds you take but it may be worth speaking to your doctor about and seeing if there is something that could be changed/increased or added.  I know when I start to feel depressed I feel empty, like there is nothing there and I have nothing to give.  It is a horrid feeling and I truly hope that you find some relief soon.

Take care

Posted 1/25/2007 6:07 PM (GMT 0)

Thanks Els ,

I'm actually still waiting for counselling - I went to see someone about it in November eyes I wanted to do that first so that I could be advised on meds (I take nothing at the moment apart from wine and chocolate - not good for the waistline!) as the person I saw said I might be bipolar....he wasn't definate as I had only spent that one time talking to him , now though after looking at my behaviour over countless years the missing piece of the puzzle has been found.

I feel a lot easier now that I know I am not strange , and I can understand my moods , behaviour etc....a lot more and can now even work to keep myself in control.

I must phone them tomorrow........even if they can't do anything yet , at least I will know how far along I am in the waiting list (and they say there is not much call for more counsellors - info from the british association!)

Take care Els , you do a wonderful job tongue

Posted 1/25/2007 6:26 PM (GMT 0)

Oh thank you smiler for the props tongue ...you do a wonderful job also!  I hope you can get into that counselor soon please let us know and you can send some of that chocolate over this way anytime....

Hugs tongue

Posted 1/25/2007 7:00 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Smiler! I have a friend who I was in hospital with who has bipolar disorder. She also takes an anti depressant with her other meds as she has ups and downs. I know what you mean when you say it feels like someone has stolen your soul-depression is awful and I wouldn't wish it on a worst enemy!  I have highs and lows with my depression and each day is always different at the moment.  I hope you get some help from your doctor to enable you to manage this depression better. Take care and nice to see you over here in our little forum!!  Come again!!
Posted 1/26/2007 11:53 AM (GMT 0)

Well I dug my letter from the mental health clinic out today to get their # and it was Oct not Nov when I saw them! They reckon I will be able to see someone in 5-6 weeks redface <---that's me singing hallelujah.

I think I'm a lost cause at the moment , I am on antibiotics cos I got cellulitus with necrosis , my stomach decided to flare yesterday and I'm feeling sick devil although I still believe this hasn't caused the dep.

Ya know the spider who slipped down the side of the bath , further , and further........well I'm just trying to keep away from that plug hole yeah

"I get knocked down.......but I get up again........you ain't never gonna keep me down" tongue

Felt a bit strange posting my probs at first seen as I'm a mod , but I suppose it keeps it real....we are all human and just trying to get along as best we can.

Wishing you both lots of chocolate ,

Smiler tongue

Posted 1/26/2007 2:54 PM (GMT 0)
Mods are human too. :-)
Posted 1/26/2007 3:13 PM (GMT 0)
Smiler, I'm having some problems too. I can't seem to get over my husband's death; seems the depression and sadness are hitting me worse right now (6 months later) than when he first died. I finally decided I needed to see a counselor too, and have an appt. next week. I've almost posted in this forum several times, so I'm glad that you did because it made me feel better -- Jon is right, mods are human too.
Posted 1/26/2007 3:32 PM (GMT 0)

I always think of my depression as being in a deep dark well with slippery sides.  It is so hard to climb my way back up from that well and sometimes I dont always see the light at the top, even though I know it is always there (somewhere in the back of my mind). 

It's odd how each of us describe it differantly but it always comes back to being in a hole of some sort and darkness.  I think people who have depression are true fighters as we have to get up everyday and make the choice to not let this beat us.

I am glad that you posted what you have as I needed a reminder on being human too.  I reply to so many posts but often I dont post on my own problems and needs.  I have so many things that run through my mind and that I deal with on a daily basis that makes it hard for me.  I have stopped going to my counselor several months ago and havent had the courage to pick up the phone and make an appointment as I hate to discuss my childhood abuse issues that still torment me.  I do still go to see my Psychiatrist though.  I also have many physicial illnesses that effect my quality of life which of course effects mood.  Anyway enough of that...

Here's to keeping it real tongue  

Posted 1/26/2007 5:59 PM (GMT 0)

I'm glad I posted now it has helped me a lot - it feels like I have opened a door for other people too yeah

Posted 1/26/2007 6:09 PM (GMT 0)
Yes you did Smiler, and I appreciate it. It's been a rough six months, and since his death was unexpected it's been hard. I'm tired, and I'm tired of people telling me to be positive. I try to stay positive, but why can't some people just let me mourn and be sad? And if I mention my UC, someone has to say, "Well, everyone has something." Why can't they just say I'm sorry you aren't feeling well today? My GP said she was glad I came in to see her and request a counseling appointment. It's gotten to the point to where I just want to sleep and make things go away. But I keep plodding along. And Els you are right, it's like a hole you can't quite get out of and I try to see the light too. I guess I feel like the rest of the world is still moving on, but I can't seem to right now.

Posted 1/26/2007 11:52 PM (GMT 0)

Well I'd just like to say (as a non-mod tongue ) you guys are so right!! 

There sure is a deep black hole for all of us of some sort, but we all keep on managing to find our way out, thanks in part to you guys for supporting us and each other.  You do a great job and I'm sure that everyone else agrees that your support and comments are really balanced and valuable in times of need.

Keep up the great work, but remember to ask for help or take the time to vent when you need to too.

Deb

Posted 1/27/2007 2:28 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you Ozfm, that was such a nice thing to say. The people on all of these forums are just the nicest people and I'm so thankful to each and every one of you. Life is sometimes just hard, but it's a little easier when we have each other to lean on.
Posted 1/27/2007 12:32 PM (GMT 0)
Yes, thank you Ozfm it was very nice of you to say and post.  Everyone who posts here is so very supportive of each other...it is a wonderful thing to see and be a part of.  I think that is why so many people stick around.

Carol, I dont know what it is like to lose a spouse to death, I cant imagine how difficult that must be for you.  And I am sure meer words never come close to touching the surface of your pain.  You have every right to be sad and mourn your loss for as long as you feel that you need to...it is never up to anyone else to say how long of time to take.  I am divorced now for almost 3 years and though I chose that path in my life I still mourn that relationship.  The closeness I had with my husband and the feeling of security that came with being with him.  So many people have told me that I am better off without him and to move on...and yes, I know I should and that it was a toxic relationship for me but in a lot of ways it wasnt and that is something that my mind plays over and over again.  It is much differant that what your going through as my ex-husband is still here alive and well but I guess my whole point is that you have to take these types of things in your own time and the one's who tell you differant really dont understand.

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