i feel so empty

my friend told me about this site. i have never done this before. i have just got out(dumped) from a four year relationship. I so sick and tired of talking about this to everyone one i know except the person (guy) who broke my heart. I guess it all started back in sept when he asked for a break b/c he wanted space (we did not live together however i did stay over quite a bit BUT always asked if it was ok to come over he also lived at home and we are in are mid 20"s) When he told me he asked if I was happy i said yes, but he said he was not. I was so shocked that he felt that way i asked what bugged him about me and he told me that i did not listen to him ,give him space (even though somestimes on the weekend we would do seperate things)and once got really drunk at a wedding and does not like me when i get really drunk (it does not happen often but has happedned to much for me that i like it to) He did not go into detail about why he felt unhappy with me.I feel that this is partly my fault b/c I never was aggressive enough with trying to find out what bugged him so much about me. Anyways we took a break for the whole month of oct. and he called me once for a booty call and I accepted ( he did apologize for that and said it was wrong of him to do that to me) and i forgave him and said it was ok even though it really hurt me but did not tell him that. Anyways my b day was in nov and he came and shortly after that we were back together things were really good. we were talking about getting a place 2 gether and even trying for a baby in dec of 07. Then all hell broke loose, we went to a hockey game and I once again got really drunk! ( i could kick myself for that) Anyways after the game we ran into some peoplE  WE knew and was coming back from the bathroom and said hi to them ( i hit my guy and the person in the arm ) the person gave me a hug and WE  just talked shortly. After we left my guy said I was such an embrassment and he walked ahead of me. He made me feel so belittled I always try so hard to make him happy. N E ways as we got to the car I just freaked out on him and told him exactly how he made me feel How he pushes me in and out of his llife calls when it convenient for him and calls when he wants sex! OF course i reget this b/c I was a druken idiot and could not control my emtions but he hurt me so much and he does not like to talk. PRIOR TO OUR BREAK UP i had asked to talk about r break and he told me "he does not want to talk about it" How dare he I always thought b/c he put me through hell and he does not even understand how he made me feel. I did not know if we would be 2 GETHER OR BREAK UP however I wanted to try at it. I feel so frusted b/c he always said if we got married he wanted to really try at it and not divorce(he comes from a broken home but his parent s r close now but had problems when he was younger) i CAN'T stand that i feel so empty and i can not even cry i am depressed but (no sucide thouhgts) I want nothing more than things to work out but i realize i cant be with some one who does not want me( that really kills). we have been broken up for 3 weeks i have text him 2x and one time he told me to quit texting(hurt) the other i said congrats that he finished school he resp. THANKS ( THATS IT!!) I can not stand that he cant talk to me or even make an attempt. I love him  and miss him so much. This really sucks. O by the way when he broke up w/th me it was over the phone! and he told me he was done with me and he was going to date other people (insult to injury) IN my heart it does not feel over I know it souds crazy i feel connected to him(he has told me that first) . what r your thoughts on this SHOULD I JUST MOVE ON AND WAS I AT FAULT FOR THE BREAK UP ? THANKS