Isolation

I'm a novice at this, so please forgive me if I make mistakes!

I was retired from work some 10 years ago, having suffered a major 'breakdown' following the near death of my son due to vasculitis. Although on the surface I seem to be 'normal', underneath I am still in termoil. I am agony aunt to the masses - I seem to collect 'lame ducks' who bring all their problems to me, and when they learn to fly again they vanish into the ether. When I feel down, or overwhelmed, by the issues that beset me, no-one seems to be there for me.

My husband is an alcoholic although he won't accept it. 11 years older than me he has become dependent upon me to the extent that I have not had a break in more years than I can count. Looking after him is a 24/7 task.

For many years I have suffered from undiagosed physical symptoms, put down as chronic fatigue, ME, fybromyalgia etc. and am now having treatment for a skin problem which is both unpleasant and disfiguring.

I suspect strongly that all my physical problems are related to my state of mind and therefore psychsomatic in origin.

Does anyone understand how deeply isolated I feel?

 Welcome Mega~

This is a great place to be when you are down.  The loneliness you speak of is an every day occurence for me.  I have fought demons for several years but mostly of recent.  The loneliness and pain are the worst pain I have ever endured.  I feel as if I live hell on earth.

 

My pain is also physically related to my health.  I have had high blood pressure and several other symptoms that have been occurring without medical explaination.  I say it is because I am dying of a broken heart but noone seems to really care.  I look at it this way, if the physical ailments end up being severe enough to warrant my life well maybe my autopsy results will prove that I was truly hurting as much as I said I was.

 

I have no advice for the way you are feeling, I do know what it is like to feel as if noone is listening, that is why this forum will be a great place for you.

 

good luck to you

Thank you all for such a warm welcome! It is a help knowing there are people out there who understand how I feel.


A friend of mine is often heard to say 'Ooo, I could write a book!'. I have often thought it would be a way to exorcise some of my demons, but truth being stranger than fiction by far, who would really believe my story. In brief, I was raped as a very young teenager. When I was 17 I got married. 6 weeks later I had a 6 week prem baby boy. 6 weeks later my husband indulged in the ulltimate rejction - I had to identify him where he was found the next day. 12 years later I re-married and took on 3 step-daughers. All the kids are grown up now, with children of their own (8 of them). When my son was 30 he came very close to dying of the same blood disorder which killed my mother and I had a severe breakdown at that point. My husband has become an alcoholic, and has suffered a heart attack. At age 45 a so called family friend attempted to rape me in my own kitchen when everyone else was upstairs sleeping - including his then girlfriend. I didn't tell anyone for more than 2 years. Flash forward, and an elderly friend I walked into his living room and found him . I had to deal with the aftermath, including doctors, police inquest, funeral and all the other legal stuff as he had no family. This year another friend tried - he survived the attempt, but didn't escape the biggest ticking off of his life! (He is much happier and settled now, thankfully, the crisis seems to have passed.)



No publisher would print it!

I am sorry but I had to edit your post due to rule#1 of our forum. We have alot of younger teens that come on this site. I hope you understand.

1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm). Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.

Post Edited By Moderator (ShynSassy) : 7/7/2007 6:42:40 AM (GMT-6)

Sorry folks - my last post was perhaps too explicit about my history - like I said, I'm a total novice at this!

Hi Shy

I am not really the whining individual I might seem, just sometimes I need to find someone who understands!

Had a year in counsellng. Helped, but at the end of the day it is probably down to me to deal with my own demons.