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Posted 10/9/2007 11:49 AM (GMT 0)
Oh no! I don't understand why they do that,I know they all get busy but come on.

Is there a chance that your family can at least come visit? Are you able to call them?



Shy
Posted 10/9/2007 12:18 PM (GMT 0)
I know shy i was bad enough before this but now am even worse. My family can`t visit as it`s a nine hour drive one way and i know they won`t come .they have just bought me something to make me sleep so i had better go .Take care .HUGS
Restless
Posted 10/9/2007 12:20 PM (GMT 0)
Restless,
You won't see this until you wake up... try to take advantage of having people cater to you. Bringing you your meals,cleaning up after you ect ect. Try to get as much sleep as you can.
If you are bored and the computer is not doing it,then don't be afraid to ask for some books or magazine,or watch your favorite tv shows. I think some hospitals even have movies that they can give you.

It is now time to have someone take care of you.

((((((hugs)))))))

Shy
Posted 10/9/2007 2:29 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Restless,

Im sorry to hear about the mix-up at the hospital. Like Shy, I dont think there is any excuse for the hospital not communicating, no matter how busy they are. Try and keep yourself occupied as Shy has mentioned. Perhaps puzzle books are your sort of thing... Cross-Words, Word-Searches, Sudoku etc... I wish you all the best

Keep us posted

Darren

Posted 10/9/2007 9:29 PM (GMT 0)
Morning Shy and Darren yesyerday was a very teary day and eventhoughthey gave me something to sleep i was awake at three having others here i couldn`t even turn the lighton to read i thought it wouldn`t of been fair to them .I will see if i can have a little walk today seeing all i`m doing is ssitting around but not sure how i will go on my own ( with all the anxiety that i have at the moment ) i don`t want to make things worse .
They are really lovely here very caring and understanding .it was lovely to have a coffee bought to my bed last night when things were not so good for me .I really miss everyone from home even though they are such pains in the butt to me most days .
I have bought some movies down with me and a portable dvd player but at the moment just not in the right frame of mine for them ,maybe a bit later .
HUGS TO YOU ALL i will drop in a bit later .
Restless
Posted 10/9/2007 10:35 PM (GMT 0)
Restless
Are you sharing a room with someone? I am wondering if you can strike up a friendship with someone that understands what you are going through.
I bet you do miss your family. I am so glad that you have a computer to be able to keep in touch with us.



Shy
Posted 10/9/2007 10:48 PM (GMT 0)
I am sharing Shy but they are going home on the weekends they were really lovely last night when i was so upset and they gave me a few hugs they are all fighting cancer here it`s really sad .I would be so much worse if i didn`t have my computer as you see all my friends are in it ,i have no one else at all
Restless
Posted 10/10/2007 3:05 AM (GMT 0)

Restless, I'm glad you are feeling a little bit better today.  I'm glad you have kind people around you.  You do sound like you are in better spirits.  I just wish we could be there to visit you.  There would be so many of us, you would have to kick us out so you could get some rest.

Take care!

Carla

Posted 10/10/2007 5:15 AM (GMT 0)

Hey Restless,

Hello there hun, I am sorry your so far from home but please keep posting here and know we care.  Feel free to email me if you just want to chat.  I am in MN and I would be happy to visit through email with you.

You are one special person, so keep on keeping on and take my hand, I will walk with you.

Hugs to you.

Posted 10/10/2007 2:49 PM (GMT 0)

Hi restless,

I am glad that you are sharing with someone that goes home at the weekend. That way, you get to build a friendship and you have support but you also get time to reflect and be alone as well. It sounds like the best of both worlds.

Big British Hugs

Darren

Posted 10/11/2007 1:03 PM (GMT 0)
WOW what a day things just didn`t go as planned and i was stressed out before i even left here to go to the other hospital the bus that arrived didn`t have enough seats for me to go it didn`t start my day off well at all .so i was an hour behind .
Finally i had all the planning done and am so not looking forward to treatment the dr now tells me i will be here longer atleast an extra week and half it`s all too much .
To add to this i will now miss my daughters graduation ( i know i don`t get on well with her but thought i woud atleast be there to support her ) it just wasn`t to be i`m so dissappointed .
Tonight to just add the icing to the cake we were all here sitting on our beds preparing to go to sleep .when there was one almighty clap of lightening and then the fire alarms were going off every where now we were being evacuated and the fire briguade was on it`s way .my nerves have been shot to pieces now everyone is in bed asleep and i`m just so awake far from the thought of sleep .
What more can go wrong maybe he is telling me i shouldn`t be here.

My kids keep ringing from home but i can`t answer th ephone all the time i`m just getting too upset even talking to them then when they hang up i`m left alone to deal with everything myself i just can`t keep doing this .I just have this urge to run out the door and keep on runinning to get far away as i can .
I have tried reading and have done a bit this afternoon i tried to watch a dvd on my portable player but i don`t even know what the picture was even about my mind just keeps wondering all over the place .
Every time i talk to the nursing staff i am left upset .Because of my history they keep coming in and checking on me the whole time .
they are at me all the time about eating but i`m just not interested in food it has no taste whatso ever and i just don`t enjoy eating anything.
Oh well i might try wand watch another movie just see how i go .catch up again soon .
Restless
Posted 10/11/2007 1:49 PM (GMT 0)
I'm so sorry that you are going through this restless. I do know this, if you were my mom, I wouldn't leave your side. Children take their parents for granted and dont understand how hard it is to have a parent who doesnt care.
Posted 10/11/2007 3:51 PM (GMT 0)

Hello Restless,

Sorry you had a bad time of it with the firealarms etc.  I can understand how you feel when you talk to your children and say good bye as they are together and you are separated from them. Use you family here and keep sharing with us.

There is something comforting about baring your soul to the members of Depression  and still being able to be anonymous. You are free to vent and let off your pent up emotions without having to feel any guilt.

We are your sounding board, use us well.

Gentle Hugs to you my friend.


 

Posted 10/11/2007 10:19 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Restless,

I'm sorry you are having such a bad time lately. I hope today will be a lot better for you. May God bless you and your family.
Posted 10/12/2007 4:17 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Restless,

I am sorry to hear about the problem with the lightning... Like you I wonder if someone is trying to tell you something! tongue   Please dont let this put you off treatment. as many people have said, we are here to support you and I hope that you feel you can sound off to us whenever you want to.

All the Best

Darren

Posted 10/12/2007 6:29 PM (GMT 0)

Hey Restless,

You will have to say that you haven't been bored, what with the lightening, fire alarms, being moved to another hospital by bus.  My gosh lady, I absolutely can not believe what you have had to go through when you are supposed to be in the hospital!  This is unreal.  And you haven't even had your treatment yet.  I think God is testing you and you are passing with flying colors all the way through.  See, you didn't even think you could go through the treatment and look what you have already gone through before the treatment.  You are one strong lady!  You are WOMAN!  I have faith in you that you are going to get through this and come out a stronger person on the other side of it.

Here's a song for you:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPDcMyPlFvw

Love and prayers,

Carla

Posted 10/12/2007 8:12 PM (GMT 0)

HI Restless,

How are you today.  I am hoping your day is going better than your last post.

We are all here and waiting to hear how you are.  Post when your able.

(((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))

Posted 10/12/2007 10:35 PM (GMT 0)
Hi well i escaped .............My wonderful niece came and got me and i`m spending the weekend with her it feels so wonderful to GET OUT OF THERE . I do not want to go site seeing or even shopping like the staff suggested but i just want to stay home .my niece is working and i have her home to myself it`s so nice .
As for the lightening strike the other night i thought about it a lot that night as i didn`t sleep at all and thought that it was a message from god telling me he is here with us looking over us and when i arrived at my nieces home we were sitting here talking and would you believe there was a big clap of thunder outside so just maybe he followed me.
In myself i feel so exhausted from not sleeping even when they gave me meds to sleep i only slept for a couple of hours .On the inside i`m shaking so much,this morning i couldn`t hold my coffee still it`s just like it was when i was at my lowest with my depression .
There is one lady in my room at the hospital she told me she has just about had enough she has been there for a couple of months and only has a week and a bit to go but even though it`s that close to finishing i can really understand what she is feeling .Today when i go out i will try and find a little gift to see if i can cheer her up .If i could i would go for a walk out with her but i just can`t do that as i just cant go through te anxiety of being out .Her name is grace and she is a lovely old lady like me her family is away but she has a son who is talking her to his place this wekend i just hope she comes back .
Yesterday my youngest son rang me he is sixteen and straight away i felt he was different he sounded really down maybe being with his girlfriends parents isn`t the best ,he will be going home today so hopefully he will pick up .He is such a bright boy always on the go and full of life it`s a bit worring to hear him like this and know i can`t be there for him .
And to end today i`m just so lucky for all the wonderful people here in healing well that i have come to know and those who pop in with words of encouragement this has been my safe place to come and let go .I just hope that a lot of people are helped as it has helped me to get this far .
Love Restless
Posted 10/13/2007 1:04 AM (GMT 0)

Restless,

I'm glad you got a weekend escape.  That's great!  Just being out of the hospital setting will be wonderful.  I have a feeling you will make some long term friends during your time in the hospital, friends you will want to stay in touch with.

Enjoy your weekend!

Carla

Posted 10/13/2007 12:15 PM (GMT 0)
Restless
I am so glad that you have your niece to depend on. She is an angel!
I bet she would love a present,at least you are with people that can completely understand what you are going through.
(((((hugs)))))))

Shy
Posted 10/14/2007 9:39 AM (GMT 0)
Evening all !!!.Well i`m back here in hospital again the weekend has flown by everso fast as it usually does when you don`t want it to .I loved it at my nieces place it was just the two of us when she got home from work .I tried to go shopping by was so overwelmed by the people panic attacks really set in .In the middle of a shopping complex and not being able to breathe isn`t a good thing Believe me i will never try that again it took me ages to recover.
My room mate loved her little gift i bought her it was simply lovely to see her smile .
Well tomorrows the day .Treatment starts at nine i`m pretty apprehensive about it all and not sure how i will go i think the fact that this great maching is going to come down and squash into my face has me a bit worried as i can`t even stand an oxygen mask on my face .But will give it a go and see how i go .
Well i had better head off .Take care all.
Restless
Posted 10/14/2007 9:46 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Restless,

Im so glad you have had a good weekend even if it did go too quickly! tongue   Please dont worry too much about tomorrow, worry will leave you exhausted. (I know its easier said than done). Always remember we are all thinking of you and that we wish you all the best

Darren

Posted 10/15/2007 1:19 AM (GMT 0)
ok i had my firt treatment this morning and i really want to go home i don`t like it one bit was in tears the whole time from the moment he covered my eyes ( the memories it bought back ) i just can`t do it i just want too run away and hide i do not want to go through all this again not not i just cant .
Restless
Posted 10/15/2007 6:53 AM (GMT 0)

Hey Jane,

Hello hun,  I am with you here and just keep on keeping on.  Vent away and know we all care here.  I can only imagine how dreadful your treatment was, but I pray that the outcome will be good.

God Bless you niece.  I know how hard it was to come back to the hospital to face the treatments.  Please remember that your on my mind all week even thow I will be out of town.

Hugs to you gentle lady.

Kitt

Posted 10/15/2007 10:48 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Jane,

Im sorry that you dont like the treatment but please bear with it. The long term rewards from it will be huge. Remember we are all with you on this one. We are thinking about you and praying for you.

Darren 

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