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Posted 10/24/2007 2:43 PM (GMT 0)
My t said maybe i need hospitalization.  I don't know it's so hard to even think.
Posted 10/24/2007 4:29 PM (GMT 0)
Just wanted everyone to know that i am all right the self-distrutive feelings have gone away. Thank you everyone for all the kindness i get here.

Starbrite
Posted 10/25/2007 12:21 PM (GMT 0)
Starbrite

What are you going to do about the hospital?
I think your therapist is telling you that you need more help than they can provide.
That is not a bad thing,in fact be glad that they are not trying to treat you when they are not qualified enough to do so.

Please keep us updated and stay strong.


Shy
Posted 10/25/2007 3:29 PM (GMT 0)
right now i'm not going to go into inpatient. I need to stay here and be strong for my cousin.
Posted 10/25/2007 4:47 PM (GMT 0)
I am sorry that you are going through all of this star. I just hope that you stay strong and keep your self safe.



Shy
Posted 10/25/2007 11:18 PM (GMT 0)

Star,

Is it possible for you to get into an outpatient program where you go daily and work with a group? Some of these programs work wonders.

I do not like to see you isolate yourself.  Also don't do as I did and pretend you are fine when your dying inside of pain.  Accept help, only you can take care of you.

God Bless and please talk with your Physician.

Gentle Hugs

Posted 10/25/2007 11:36 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you everyboday for your kindness and concern. I am all right I've gone through this dark place before and I can do it again. I've got a lot of people depending on me so I have to stay strong or at least act strong. Kitt God does bless me more than you would ever know.

Star
Posted 10/27/2007 3:39 AM (GMT 0)

Star,

I had been thinking about you and your cousin, but I had not checked this particular site the past two days.  I am sorry to hear you are not doing well.  You know if you don't take care of yourself first, you can't be there for your cousin.  What about Darren's idea of out-patient therapy?  I'm afraid you are getting worse instead of better.  I'm also concerned that if you don't get treatment now, how are you going to handle her death?  It is going to be hard enough as it is, but you need to get yourself in the best shape you possibly can.

You know we love you here.  You are part of our family.

Love and prayers,

Carla

Posted 10/27/2007 6:57 AM (GMT 0)
It's 2:30 in the morning and I can't sleep again. This happens everynight so I am getting use to it. Has anyone ever watched t.v. at this hour? There is nothing on but paid commercials. My fibromyaglgia doctor has me on two Ambience CR but it doesn't do any good, I don't know why I can't sleep. Right now I have bronchitis and my asthma is acting up so it doesn't help the depression to be stuck in the house. Being in a psy. hospital or day program scares the heck out of me I have been inpatient 4 times before and I think I came out worse than when I went in but I am thinking about it because I know I have to stay safe. I have therapy on Wednesday so I am going to talk all of this out with my therapist. She will be out of town untill then. I will probably just sleep a lot until then.

I thank you so much for being there and giving me all the support.

Than You Again
Starbrite
Posted 10/27/2007 11:47 AM (GMT 0)
Star
I know about the stupid paid commercials,have been up several nights myself.

I know that the hospitals are scary,but you have to get better so do what is right for you ok?

Stay strong and use this board as much as you need too.


(((((((((hugs))))))))))

Shy
Posted 10/28/2007 1:28 AM (GMT 0)

Star,

I know about staying awake all night.  I have been doing it for 6-8 months now. I am going for a sleep study tomorrow night.  I am awake until at least 4:00 - 5:00 a.m. every night.  Do you have a DVD player?  Until you see your therapist, why not rent some movies.  I know it is maddening to be awake in the middle of the night.  I have spent way too much money on ebay, so don't do that, movies are much cheaper.  When I'm struggling to go to sleep, I can't make myself read, can you?  Of course, I know you have so much on your mind right now.

Please keep us posted and know that we are here for you.

Love and prayers,

Carla

Posted 10/28/2007 3:38 PM (GMT 0)
I'm doing all right just this bronchitis and asthma is driving me nuts because i can't go anywhere. Carla i know what you mean about not being able to read when you are awake at night I too go on e-bay and buy books. I have so many books here i will never wade through them. We have a DVD player but i have never taken the time to learn how to use it, i let my husband do it. It doesn't look too hard but I guess i'm lazy and told him I know enough already i don't need to know that.(ha ha ha) I guess it would be a good idea to learn how to do it. My depression is still bad but i don't feel like i'm ready to self destruct anymore so i take that as a good sign. I's just sometimes I just get so tired of living like this and wonder why God doesn't seem to care. Sometimes i wonder if there is a difference between grief and depression and hopelessness? But I am hanging in there.

Star
Posted 10/29/2007 11:55 AM (GMT 0)
One day at a time Star,that is all anyone can ask of ourselves when things are so hard.
You are a very strong person,and you will be able to get through this!



Shy
Posted 10/29/2007 4:08 PM (GMT 0)
Yup I can do it one day at a time.
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