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Ready to snap - anxiety and depression - at work!

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Depression
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Posted 11/2/2007 2:06 PM (GMT 0)
Glad I found these forums.

I've been dealing with anxiety and depression for almost 3 years. Tried Efexor, Colonpin, now on Lexapro and xanax for over a year.

Work is stressful, but it's not like its something new. The lexapro really worked for the last year. I know it's not suppose to have a tolerance but things are getting worse. I can say with confidence the Lexapro is keeping me from falling deep down into a depressive state after my anxiety and panic attacks. Not that I don't still feel like crap most of the time. Now it's at the point where I am snapping, talking back and being a dick to everyone. The thoughts are worse, thoughts of hurting others or myself just to remove myself from the situation. It is a constant battle of fight or flight. Luckily for my wellbeing I have been opting for the latter and removing myself from the stimulus. I really don't want to return to the stimulus that creates such anxiety, and thoughts of destruction.

I am willing to up the 20mg of Lexapro to 30mg or try something else, but don't feel like I can deal with major stresses until things start to work out again with the meds. Can my condition be considered a short or even long term disability? I can't afford to loose my job for my poor attitude and overwhelming feelings of panic resulting in outburst, eventually removing myself from the stimulus. I have searched and really can't find anything that suggest my disability allows my short term insurance to cover my income until I find my way out of this maze in my mind.

Once again I'm glad I found these forums. Is nice to get some of the worries out. I look forward to the feedback.

Dez
Posted 11/2/2007 2:43 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Dez,

I'm new to the forum myself...2 days!  I'm wondering who is prescribing your Lexapro - GP or specialist?  I've tried a variety of meds over the past 5 years..many of the same ones you described - changed doctors also and found someone who knows what they are doing.  I moved from 20gm of Lexapro (since 2005) to 40 gm/day about 9 months ago...I suffer from chronic spinal pain and fell way down the slippery slope before I even started the Lexapro.  What is your concern in increasing the dosage if your doctor recommends it?  You didn't mention what outlets you have for yourself.  You obviously care about other people and the effect you have on them, or you wouldn't be chatting in this forum!  Can you join a fitness club, walking club, dance group, etc?  Anything that gets you outside to breath fresh air, especially with other people will "soften" your edges.  I went through a similar time in my life....joining a volunteer group at our local hospital saved my spirit and humbled my mouth.  It sounded "hokey" at first, but after the orientation and the first day of feeling stupid, it became a life-saver for me.  Do you have any volunteer interests - maybe Habitat for Humanity, local shelters or hospitals, etc. 

I can't answer your question regarding disability...do mean through your employer or soc. security?

As bad as you feel, there is someone else out there feeling worse that needs you...but let the meds help you first if your doctor recommends it.  Let me know how you are doing..I care.

Nina

Posted 11/2/2007 3:15 PM (GMT 0)
Dez

First of all I want to welcome you to the forum,I am very glad that you found us and I am sure you will find the support that you are looking for.
I suggest contacting your doctor right away,one for the meds and two because they have dealt with insurance and know what can and can't be claimed.
Do you feel comfortable going to your Hr Department to ask this question?
Be careful though, I would not divulge too much info as sometimes jobs do not understand the depression and I would not want it to back fire.

Keep us posted.

Shy
Posted 11/2/2007 3:34 PM (GMT 0)
Dez...I cannot say I know what you are going thru as I am not you but for me, I have suffered from clinical depresssion and have been off/on meds since junior HS. I am almost 40. I am on the maximum ammt of the medicine I can take. It helps be from getting really depressed but I also have to work on self too. I have recently had more anxiety/panic attacks so am takin a little more to help with that. I am going thru a ssdi case now(actually have two pending). It has been four years. I have depression but I also have many other things along w/ the depression. It would help to look into things or if you have EAP(employee assistance), it might help to see someone. TC and stay well.

"Living One Day at a Time."
Posted 11/2/2007 5:31 PM (GMT 0)

Hi there Dez and welcome to Healingwell!

There are loads of other meds that you can try... Wellbutrin, Sertraline etc... It may be that you need a med increase but personally I would recommend the exercise route. Going out for a jog or playing an outdoor sport for an hour, not only helps with depression by getting the muscles and blood moving, but also it helps your body process Vitamin D.

Let us know how you get on.

Darren

Posted 11/2/2007 7:33 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for all the replies!

I have a specialist that is prescribing the lexapro. I can't get into see him until Monday but did talk to him yesterday when he advised me to use the xanax liberally. It seems the common theme is to get out and do something for myself, mainly exercise. Or at least do something with meaning that provides a sense of worth, unlike my current working situation. The only outlet I have right now to ease the anxiety and panic attacks is the comfort and safety of my house were no stimulus will send me into a tailspin. In the end I truly feel I need to get a new job that gives me a sense of worth, I can honestly say they(employer) don't care for the individual no matter what BS the say about the value of the employee.

I have contacted EAP in the past, many times, and it seems they don't understand. I like to refer to them as a major joke. I don't even want to go into the experiences I've had with them in the past.

When I refer to short term disability I am referring to a company sponsored one that can covers me up to 90 until my long term kicks in. While talking to my specialist yesterday he mentioned he would "take care" of my work situation.

Today is a new day and all I can do is try to make it better than the previous.

Thanks again for all the feedback. I will let you know of my progress and the info I find about my supplemental short term coverage.
Posted 11/2/2007 11:36 PM (GMT 0)
Dez
Keep in constant touch with the specialist,they know the rules and know how to make sure you are covered.
I understand your frustration with needing a new job,I too am at a dead end job and it drives me crazy.
I have been applying for better jobs,but no luck yet.
I will keep my fingers crossed for you if you keep yours crossed for me ok?


((((((((hugs)))))))))


Shy
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