im pregnant w. a random guy's baby.. in grad school help!

  I just found out today I was 5 weeks pregnant. I am home from grad school. I'm 22. I slept w. a guy (random) I met online. I was happy he was giving me attention because I was and still am depressed and had a low self esteem. I was on the bc pill and took it every day. But he did not wear a condom. I scheduled an abortion for next week. I am failing one class in grad school and need to pass the retake next month. I am very scared and sad. I told my parents and they keep calling me a ****. They hate me right now. I am scared that I won't pass my anatomy retake in january since I failed that class first semester. I feel like my life is horrible. Please help. I'm really depressed.

It may not come the way you planned or on your time frame.  I had to go to the Caribbean.  And let me tell you, I tried to run and go to professional school with problems here and I couldn't handle it.  I wasn't ready, I had too much mental baggage and it came out in a huge way..next thing I knew i couldn't concentrate AT ALL and that's not good in vet school.  You gotta straighten your head out first.  You can do it.  They are there for reasons like that, life got in the way and grades suffered.  Even though I left, I can come back.  I see your situation and see the sprial I was in last year...before you know it you won't have to take your professional career into consideration, b/c your mental situations will make sure they take the center stage...it's like your brain has a way to make sure it tries to get your attention every way it can.  I'm 22, just had to drop out of vet school b/c I ignored my problems, which caused me to do stupid things, which i again ignored, until I cracked.

I don't think God causes unwanted pregnancies resulting in abortion to teach lessons. But I'm not religious so I can't say

Worry about what's right for you, and what's just plain right.  You will find that they are the same thing.

hey thanks!  Im OCD so I analyze every word that comes out...anyway one more thing for confused....

I'm not sure if you're familiar with foreign medical schools, but do a seach for it and you'll find my school I'm sure (SGU).  Don't want to sound like I'm advertising.  There's lots of them for med, 3 for vet.  Lots of people get in your situation and have to take a detour for a while but get back on track.  These schools will listen as to why you flunked a class, why'd you go to grad...etc etc.  All the students there were very very bright but got derailed for some reason or another.  The schools in the US I think only look at a transcript and see F's and W's.  In my class (vet) the ages ranged from 19-over 50, all sorts of majors, some flunked out of other schools for certain circumstances and needed a second chance to prove themselves, people that worked in computers for 20+ years, etc. 

There are all bright people, like yourself.  Life just got in the way for whatever reason.  The entrance people see the difference between that and someone who isn't smart enough or hard working to handle professional school.  Take care 

I am from WV, a state without a veterinary school and I got put on an alternate list at UGA (first alternate to be exact, and the list didn't budge!)  I wanted to start so bad despite the fact that I needed to learn why I went from a 4.0 student to getting a 1.7 my last semester.  Most likely, if this is the case, you're dealing with depression or bipolar disorder.  You don't just all of a sudden drop like that.  I made bad decisions too, mostly drinking, spending money, relationships, etc.  It was a consequence of my disorder (bipolar - the OCD came secondary and started in Grenada...before midterms, yay!!)  It doesn't just get better, it gets worse.  It can happen again, or something worse will happen.  Or else Lindsay Lohan wouldn't have been in rehab 3 times and abortion clinics wouldn't have repeat clients.  It's not just a matter of talking to God or saying, that was wrong I won't do it again.  I went to SGU in Grenada (an island off of Venezuela).  If things aren't perfect now, it's a billion times worse when you get to professional school.  Problems cannot be ignored.  And they build.  You can't fail a class and then forget it and start fresh, especially anatomy.  I got behind like 3 days and it snowballed FAST.  I kept thinking, okay now i can start fresh, no more being an idiot!  I did awesome in engineering my first 2 years of college, which was a billion times harder than my last 2 years.  Never happened.  Now I'm back at home.  I want to go back, maybe for psychiatry.  More problem solving, less concrete than vet. I like that.   Gotta get better though first. 

Confused - I, too was on BCP.  All 3 of my children are BCP-babies.  My boyfriend wanted me to get an abortion, even dropped me off at the office....only to find out I was 21 weeks along and a "normal" one could not be done, it would have been of a different kind that would have been like giving birth early....I knew I couldn't do that.  My parents were also very strict.  I had ran away when I was 15 and hadn't gone back.  So calling them and saying I was pregnant and wanted to come home was the hardest thing to do.  Once I came home, they had every minute planned for me...the OB/GYN even had an adoptive family chosen.  I had no choice to do what everyone else was telling me I had to do......or did I.  It was my body....it was my baby....I couldn't be forced to sign papers (although I didn't know it at the time).  For the first time in my life I stood up to them.  I had her 3 weeks before I turned 18.....she is now 22.  My mom cried when I told her I was keeping the baby, she was very happy.  My dad, not so much.  Guess who was the doting grandfather with camera in hand at all times when she was around!  We spoke with our priest, and although I had comitted many sins, my daughter was allowed to be christened in God's eyes at 2 month's of age.  He does forgive.  I worked 3 jobs to support her and while I was pregnant I went to night school to get my high school diploma.  I did go to college when I was 25. 

Now, you may think that I am going somewhere completely different with this than what I am....but what I am here to say is it is your body, no one else can tell you what to do.  Only you are going to know what is in your heart and what your strength is.  You will be forgiven and loved by Him no matter what you decide.  For me, the thought of having an abortion in the beginning was easier to fathom than someone else raising the child I had conceived.  For me, the more the doctor and my parents pushed adoption and talked about the adoptive parents the angrier and stronger I became.  I didn't decide until my 8th month that I was keeping her.....or maybe I decided long before and I didn't find the strength to tell my parents until then.