Jen,
You didn't do anything to make yourself diabetic. Your body's handling and storage of energy sources was preset at birth and if you lived in a different time in our history you would be able to survive famine and food shortages better than normals. If you lived, say 100 yrs ago and had to beat rugs, hitch up horses, scrub laundry on a washboard, haul heavy pots of water for bathing and laundry, well, needless to say you would be doing lots of exercise daily so your sugars would most likely stay in line. Most type 2 diabetics are victims of our progressive society. We drive everywhere, have electric appliances, remote controls... heck! We don't even walk across the street to talk to our neighbors, we call them on the phone!
To make matters more difficult we have delicious, calorie laden foods at our fingertips. Industrialization has made quickly absorbed, modified carbs more accessable than at any time in history. It's a miracle that our whole modern society isn't diabetic! You can help yourself by using more basic grains like brown rice, barley or bulgar in place of pastas, eating whole fruits in place of juices, and adding new vegetables to your salads like kale and mustard greens or sliced zuchini and summer squash (raw) to the mix. And you may still have your peanut butter evening snack, but have it on 1/2 of an apple. (I like to cut the apple in half and use a melon baller to remove the seed core.)
And my doctor told me it's ok to go bonkers once every month or two and visit my favorite Chinese Buffet. I've gotten so good at my food choices that the last time I went my 2 hr. post meal blood sugar was 132!
(Brag! Brag!) It's not all doom and gloom and you will find your way thru the maze. You just need to keep learning about
foods, amounts, exercise, rest and being very nice to yourself. Oh! and remember to check your feet every day! I've already had four toenails removed because of chronic infections and ingrown nails. But I still have all my toes!