denial

i do not have diabetes myself, so i would really appreciate the advice and perspective of someone who does. my best friend found out she has diabetes a few years back, and it took her forever to admit it. i was there when they diagnosed her in the hospital, yet she denied having it for a long time. now, she still doesnt tell people. that is not what is bothering me though...the real issue is that she eats more junk food than i do. she is on medications to help it, but she goes waaay to far. she eats carbs, desserts and candy and goes too far with alcohol. she gets sick often (hmm wonder why) but she always blames it on something else. i tell her that i am concerned for her health because i care about her a lot, and that i know its hard (i have ulcerative colitis so i can relate to living with a disease). i have tried to talk to her about it more than once but it doesnt help.....i have pretty much given up saying anything when she starts in on a slurpee, chocolate bar, pie, or whatever....because she just gets mad and defensive or says im lecturing her on what she already knows (but doesnt necessarily accept). i know she just wants to be "normal" but its really risky....
did any of you have problems with accepting your diagnosis like this? is there any advice i could pass on to her? IS there anything i could say to her that might stop her from hurting herself?

  Hi there,

    I can understand your concern for your friend, but I also understand how she is feeling right now.  I am 23 and have had diabetes for 22 years.  I went through a faze (during those wonderful teenage rebellion years) where I tried to live as though I didn't have the condition.  Although I know that you are being a wonderful support for your friend, I found that the thing that brought me to my senses was being able to talk to other diabetics about my fears and frustrations.  They didn't condemn me for my weaknesses but understood them as most of them had been through the same thing.  Just try and provide a healthy living role model for her and try to come up with ways that you guys can spend time together without food.  I hope this helps.

Aliweb

I know what your friend is going through!! i have been diabetic for almost 4 years now. I went into the hospital in 1999 with diabeties. I just recently was having problems (with my health). I haven't taken care of myself for over a year and i knew that the health problems i was having could be because of the diabeties. Well, i was right. I am , as we speek, waiting for my liver to heal. I did liver damage to myself by not taking care of my diabeties!! My liver is swolen and not doing its job!! And it is very painful!! I just came back to school today after missing 8 days!! My docters didn't want me to go because my feet were swolen so bad i could hardly walk. this isn't even close to my problems i have got just because i couldn't except the fact that i had diabeties!!! I hope that this info helps you and your friend!!!!

Hi There,

 I can't really find the way to reach you, please send a couple of words so that i will know that you read my message...

Last Edited : 10/12/2003 1:34:38 PM GMT

Niki,

Sorry to hear about your surgery and I hope you are doing better. From your initial post I would say that your friend is very self destructive. Not taking care of diabetes is very dangerous and can lead to several other problems including heart disease. Check out the heart forum here and ask how many of us that have had bypass surgery also have diabetes. Also your kidneys and eyes are at great risk not controlling the diabetes. Your friend needs to wake up while she still can and take control of her diabetes religously.

Gilbert