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Posted 4/23/2007 11:28 PM (GMT 0)
Oh boy ... if confession is good for the soul then I'm gonna feel GREAT!

about three weeks ago I got the throw up flu and couldn't even THINK of eating veggies/protein, etc. My doctor told me not to worry about. Well, I've been better for over two weeks now and am STILL not eating correctly. My morning levels are slightly higher and I'm not even checking mid-day because I don't want to know. I"m not eating bread etc, but I have had "Friday treats" for two weeks running. And once I start I can hardly stop.

I've been avoiding this place because I know the right thing to do and am CHOOSING not to do it. I'm hoping that by 'fessing up I can quit knocking myself around and just get back to the straight and narrow.

Life is stressful beyond belief right now and I'm using my "old" crutch.

Ok.

I'm done.

Thanks for listening.
Posted 4/24/2007 12:33 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Ruth, welcome to humanity!  I'll bet everyone has gone off the wagon at some point but the important decision is to get back on!  You haven't messed anything up, just a few numbers for a couple of days, and you can go back to doing as well as you were doing before.  Been there, done that:  real chocolate peanut butter rabbit on Easter.  It wasn't the mashed potatoes, nor the rolls that got me.  It was the bunny. tongue   I guess you've been recording your numbers, so look back over all the good ones and know that you'll be back down there again.  Take care.

Lanie

Posted 4/24/2007 12:53 AM (GMT 0)
Ah...you're a rebel, Ruth (lol :-)

Hey, no lectures from me, I've been around that block a few times. Like you say, you're making the choices and you know what the consequences of them are and you'll get back on-track when you're ready. You know what you have to do. Just remember how good you feel when you're on top of things and don't deprive yourself of small treats, just work 'em into the meal plan (and avoid the late-night hand-to-mouth routine).

Mmmmmm...chocolate bunnnies.

Cheers,
Kris
Posted 4/24/2007 6:41 PM (GMT 0)
Ruth,

I care about you, as do all of us here. Please don't stay away when you're not on plan. That's when you need us the most. You are doing the totally normal, to be expected, denial-avoidance-defiance thing that we all go thru. Heck! I did it for almost 10 years... fooling myself into thinking it would all just go away. I took my pills and didn't follow my food plan. Had alcohol sometimes, too. It's ok. You just take it one meal at a time. Not one day, not one week, not one blood sugar reading... just plan and eat one meal at a time. It will be fine and you will get right back in line.

Let me tell you a neat story that may help you understand why you need us and we need you.

There was a man who worked as a farmer and he was part of a co-op that helped all the local members with purchasing power and product promotion as well as crop ideas. He was pretty gung ho on the whole thing. He ran for election as one of the officers but lost the election so he got mad and refused to go to the meetings. He made it known that he didn't even want to talk to any of the members.

One winter day a fellow member came to his home. He was invited in and they sat quietly in front of the fire. The farmer told his friend that it wouldn't do any good to try to talk him into coming back to meetings. After a while the visitor reached for the fire poker and extracted a burning stick from the fire to the hearth. It burned brightly for a while and then went out, becoming a cold black ember. After a while the visitor nudged the ember back into the fire where it quickly burst again into flame. They sat quietly together for a moment and then the visitor said he had to go. The farmer stood and shook his hand and said, "I'll see you at the next meeting."

That's what HealingWell is all about. All our efforts keep the flame alive and if you go off alone you can become indifferent to your health care. Stick with us and we'll stick with you. __\|/__
Posted 4/24/2007 10:00 PM (GMT 0)
Jeanne, are you saying we can't have alcohol? I'm not on any meds that would it would interfere with, and don't drink on an empty stomach. I thought a glass of red wine per day was GOOD! I understand I can't "save up" all week and drink seven on a Saturday night (!) but none? Is that what you're saying?

I'll admit it, I am angry, angry, ANGRY! I'm angry at my broken body. I'm angry that I can't be good for the GREAT majority of the time and then indulge once and awhile. My body will still kick out high numbers when I stray. I feel like I have to change my attitude from "I can beat this" to I can deal. There's no beating this.

Waaaaaaaaaa. I know I'm being a baby ... and frankly, I need to whine right now. I'm tired of being the "cheerful, stiff upper lip person" in my world.
Posted 4/25/2007 12:47 AM (GMT 0)

Ruth, I think it's ok to drink a glass of wine with dinner if you're not taking any meds or insulin.  I would stay away from mixed drinks or the liqueurs that have added sugar.  I also drink at least a glass of water with dinner, too.

Lanie 

Posted 4/25/2007 4:59 PM (GMT 0)
Ruth,
I was drinking alcohol with my metformin... a big no-no since they are both metabolized by the liver and it adds an extra burden when you use both. Talk to your dietician about adding wine to your food plan. Usually they can fit it in at dinner and give you a bit of leeway as long as you aren't on meds yet.

Whom ever you saw for your food plan should have someone in place to answer your ongoing problems and questions.

Yeah, about the anger.... that's one of the steps to acceptance. Did you read The Stages of Loss article. It really helps to understand what your mind has to go thru before your heart can accept this diagnosis. Hang in there, girlfriend. We have all been where you are and we got through it. You CAN do this! You will do this. We will help.
Posted 4/25/2007 11:08 PM (GMT 0)
Ruth,

I'm just getting over a two week bout with a severe kdiney infection/ sinus infection/yeast infection and infection infection-lol. I understand about the lack of motivation to get back on the horse, esp when your numbers become elevated and stay there. My doctor explained how infections drive up your numbers and then the antibiotic further drives up your numbers and how sometimes they don't ever go back down to your previous levels.

I was so, "what's the point of even trying?" So, I wallowed in my misery-until I realized how much more wretched I felt than I needed to.

I started back to my exercise routine a couple of days ago and almost died- so I cut back. My numbers are back down today- and I am hitting the bike as soon as I sign off here.

You can get back to your routine, and I'll bet you will soon, because you care about yourself. We care about you too :-)

best - sandy

Posted 4/26/2007 12:43 AM (GMT 0)
Wow. Didn't know that about antibiotics ... I just got off them a couple of days ago. Huh.

The numbers will NEVER go back down or it will take awhile?

Ugh.

Thanks for all your kind thoughts during my quasi lengthy pity party. They really do help!!!
Posted 4/29/2007 2:30 AM (GMT 0)
Sorry I haven't been around lately. Just been busier than heck. Then there was some pretty big stress levels here for a while. I just wanted to tell you not to feel too bad about falling off the wagon. It took me 27 years to get on the wagon in the first place. I'm paying for that, but I'm still around! Now I am on the wagon and doing much better. I feel better about myself too. You had a few things throw you off your plan. You fell off the wagon for a little while. (as opposed to my 27 years off the wagon) Now you are getting back on. Good for you! I know you are going to do fine. It is OK to be human. I don't know anyone that is perfect all of the time.
Posted 5/3/2007 4:27 PM (GMT 0)
Wow! This post fit me perfectly. I've been going through every one of the issues discussed here. I'd really been struggling with my numbers and things were finally looking a lot better last summer when my doctor suddenly died (my doctor for 26 years), my mother became ill (she lived with me and was my best friend) and passed away in October. Those two events combined with my father passing away just a year ago (after a lenthy battle with cancer) and my constant battle with a bad knee really raised my stress levels high. My new doctor even commented that my physicals were showing signs of high-sustained stress and was showing up in higher numbers, more sinus infections, etc. The result was that I completely fell off the wagon and I'm having a hard time getting back on.

Marburg
Posted 5/3/2007 9:23 PM (GMT 0)
Hey ...

Just wanted to offer a cyberhug! While I'm back "on" I totally understand how stress can really derail the train, so to speak!

I am now literally taking one day at a time. For more reasons than one!!
Posted 5/4/2007 12:32 AM (GMT 0)
I have never heard of drinking causing someone to go on insulin. I'm type 1 though so being on insulin has just always been for me.
Posted 5/4/2007 5:33 PM (GMT 0)
Ruth,

Thanks for the cyber hug. I really needed it.

Marburg
Posted 5/4/2007 8:33 PM (GMT 0)
You are more than welcome, Marburg ... sometimes we need to get AND/OR give them!

yeah   yeah yeah

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