Hi Skeetercatt,
Number one, the most important opinoin about you, is your own opinion. Doesn't your mother know how much she is hurting you with those thoughtless remarks? I also think you two need to sit down and have a good talk. Maybe she is just one of those people who believe in speaking plain.
As far as disability goes, it can be though. My suggestion would be to call one of these law firms that specialize in disability. From everything that I have read, everyone is turned down the first time, just as a matter of routine. All the paper work has to be fille out just so, or they turn you down again. Look in the phone book and call some of the local disability advocates and find out about fees and what you need to do to qualify.
Would you happen to have a friend or other relative that happens to have a "Mother-in-law" suite, or maybe an apartment over their garage. Something where you would be close to others, but not exactly sharing the same space 24 hours a day.
Sorry I can't be more help.