I've been having a strange sensation about
2 or 3 times a year since I was in my early teens (possibly earlier, but I can definitely remember it happening at 13 or 14).
The feeing will come on at random intervals, initially throughout the day until my late 20s, when it would persist for 2 days (at random intervals), and finally in my 30s where it has persisted for 3 days (at random intervals) at a time.
I can only describe it as the sensation of a memory, fully formed and feeling like I am in the middle of it, that instantly disappears as I try to grasp it. Many times I have put it down to a dream I have only just remembered, however it will happen lets say 10-15 minute intervals through out the day (or 2 days or 3 days), accompanied by a quite intense feeling that it was an important memory - generally more intense the more I try to grasp it.
Sometimes I think they are real memories, but other times I have been convinced, almost like dreaming, that they come, fully formed out of nowhere.
I have tried to put it out of my mind over the last few years, but a couple of years ago, after its third day of happening, I left home early from work as it was psychologically draining me (I am a software developer, so I need a fairly acute attention span) and sitting on the train, felt the sensation coming on, thought I could grasp a tangible memory, then had a massive panicked sensation. Externally I held it together, but internally I was a mess, my vision went blurry, I was sweating and my heart was pounding.
I went to the doctor after that who sent me to a psychologist, who basically assured me it wasn't schizophrenia, but didn't know what else to do, as well as sent me for an MRI, and gave me a referral for an EEG, however she said that the EEG would only be particularly useful if I was having the sensations the day I took it, or perhaps the following day.
The MRI showed nothing, and a friend of mine quipped that the MRI confirms I have a brain but the EEG tells me if it works or not.
This morning (I have been sick with generic cold recently), it came back with a vengeance, it started, very intensely, whilst I was dreaming (I think that's a first), and has been giving me dropping me into memory 'sensations' (though I can't really grasp them once it wears off) for 15-30 seconds at a go (it has never been so intense before) leaving me with panicky feelings all day, and feeling like my mind is a bit 'tinny'. My mum just rang and said I sounded preoccupied. The referral for the EEG has long since expired, and we are at the beginning of a long weekend.
I am fairly sure I have no 'repressed memories' and, whilst I guess I have issues like the next guy, have little in my past to give me panic attacks, and these panicky feelings are more 'sensations' than reactions.
Does this sound like a front lobe epilepsy problem, or am I barking up the wrong tree?
Thanks for reading this ramble, I am just feeling a bit concerned, even though I now it will wear off in a couple of days, I just don't like the increase in intensity these 'memory' sensations have made.
EDITMy wife tells me, to her observations, it has happened fairly much at the same time of the year over the past 3 years, though I can't confirm this
John
Post Edited (dalek) : 10/2/2009 11:47:32 PM (GMT-6)