Feeling depressed -friend got on me today -part 2

Hi guys....well I posted yesterday about how I was feeling depressed.

Not going to bore everyone again with the repeat details. Anyways today I made some positive steps toward healing myself as my doctor and counsellor had suggested....better nutrition...changes in diet...stress level...more exercise....more fresh air..taking up hobbies...yoga.....reading...music...alll things too that people here have suggested I may add....things that may help offset the effects of the IBS the stress the E and the meds right????

Well, my hubby and I we have this friend right? He is a great friend I may add. Drives me to my appts cuz we have no car right? Well I have a bad habit......I will admit I am a smoker.....I have never hid from my doctors, they are aware and they ask me to cut down. Well this friend is very anti-smoker. well every time I get sicker....guess what he blames----the cigarettes. And I get the cigarette lecture. It has happened about 4 or 5 times. Basically to the point of today ---I guarantee its all the toxins in your body that is causing the E...from the cigarettes...thats whats causing the nightime problems the seizures....you have no will-power -----you have no self-discipline no will to change your lifestyle to see an improvement...this is what he say to me today.....I say look.....I change my diet...remove caffiene--remove wheat----I start to listen to music do yoga I worked out today for 20 minutes and i cried after because I was so proud of myself---he said---well there is no reason to do that to cry. just doesnt get it i think? i said i walk every day for 40 minutes you know how hard that is when you are on 3 AED"S and sitting on the toilet for 3 hours a day with IBS? he said you shouldnt be proud of working out until you have been doing it for 90days and if you didnt smoke you could probably work out longer. So in other words my smoking caused the E causes the seizures....is making me have bizaree nightmares/recurring dreams nightime episodes and I shouldnt be proud of my accomplishments. What a day. Thanks for listening again,

Kayakmom--thank you so much for your kind words and understanding. He made me so upset today and I felt so badly about myself.....now I dont feel like such a loser. Thanks! Take care

Hi Goodwitch! You are back! and with more kind and good advice as usual --thank you! I should know better then to even discuss my health with this person....I try not to....today couldnt avoid it unfortunately...and you are right the lack of sleep for sure is making me way more emotional! Thanks again for listening have a good night-(((Sheena)))

How is Life today ??

I also agree with everyones post... Some others just dont understand !! As far  as you smoking Sheena... Whatever... You know... It is hard to quit... I am a smoker when I feel like it...If I have a drink... Yes thats right a DRINK !! That terrible word !!! Alchohol !!! I admit... I have a drink... not too often, because unfortunately, after one glass of wine, or one beer, I feel drunk !!! .... But I enjoy a cigarette with it... Mind you... I have to wash whatever clothes I had on... even my coat, if I had it on... I cant tolerate  the smell anymore.... But yet I still enjoy a cigarette on occasion...I am social smoker....

I get comments from my kids, because I always tell them how bad it is for a person to smoke.......My father has bad emphysema.... So I always tell my kids... Please dont ever smoke ... then they see me , if we are at an occasion, and I sneak one... I have to hear it....

But you know what.... What else do I do.... Nothing....If I want a cigarette once in a while, so what...It is a gross habit... YES.... If you could quit it would save you alot of money too ... Honestly I cant afford to smoke anymore !!!!    I had a big fight with my husband last week... a BIG one and you know those MOOD SWINGS,... this was the first time I bought a pack of cigarettes in a couple of years I would say.. I was so mad, I bought a pack ... They were 6 bucks !!!  Its a good thing I dont smoke !!!  I had a couple and gave the rest to my neighbor.... the one I grub off of, when I really need one ....

Man there must be something in the air.... It seems like everyone has been in such terrible moods ..

I also see none of us sleep !!!  I dont understand, We are prescribled meds for seizure control, yet I think sometimes the meds keep us up at night, But we all know llack of sleep, brings on seizures,

what is a person to do ???

Dont try Ambien.... been there , done that.... all that does is give more stomach problems, your body gets immune to it quickly.... mine did anyway 

Well Hope all is getting better...

Feel good

Hi Goodwitch! How are you today? I a feeling a little better today...called my mother in law and she is going to take me for my appt on the 28th if she is not working so I will not have to go with this person if she can take me. I decided that I will be proud of me....I have made a lot of strides and we certainly all understand what a toll this can take on us right? THe combo of meds/stress/financial/lack of sleep etc.... the problem is too that he is a friend of my spouse as well.....I dont like to bring it up with my spouse because it always causes an argument ...last night he said you two are just going to have to learn to get along......well its not a case of that.....so theres really no point even bothering cuz they just dont get the point of it see? My spouse is manic depressive and does not get out a lot ....this is a friendship that he has developed that has been really positive....I would hate to see it ruined over such a stupid thing....see what I mean? I am an adult....I will choose what to do with my body. We both smoke.....we both are trying to cut down and quit and we will....we dont need his nosiness to help end of story lol!! Yah I can be a fiesty one when I feel ok lol! Had the same screwed up sleep/dreams /seizures???last night again....almost pushed my poor hubby out of the bed and this time I did wake him up so I can at least report this activity to the neuro as possible nightime seizure activity right? Sorry for rambling....you all have been so good to me....thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart. Sheena

Sheena-

Yeah, I just had a seizure about an hour ago! But, you know what? I'm not going to let that stop me from getting on with my day!  I think I will have some chocolate!  That is MY way of dealing with stress.  I know it's not a substitute for good nutrition. And my family yells at me all the time.  You have a  pack of cigarettes... well I can't tell you how many 3 lb bags of M & Ms I've bought lately! lol   So, you see, we can all laugh a little bit, even through all the bitterness and stress.   

I'm not a smoker, but I notice that when people try to quit under stress, they seem to smoke more!  It's just not right to try to give yourself that kind of pressure.   It's bad enough that you and your husband are trying and then his friend is also there to intervene.  If he is your hubby's support then I agree, you'll just have to let it be.   Guess you'll have to put on your rain coat and " let it roll off of you".lol 

Funny, ...I never sleep all the way through the night either. Toss and turn when I wake up in the night.  I used to be a great sleeper before taking these meds. I used to fall asleep as soon as my head used to hit the pillow at night and I woke up in the morning when the alarm would go off. I average 4 hours a night now. Used to be 7-8.  I dream like crazy. Never remembered my dreams before.  Everybody here seems to have similar problems.

Keep truckin' Sheena!  (Think I'll have some M & Ms right now...)

NOW !!!!! I know why we all got IBS... DuH... Chocolate !!!!  I am a chocaholic !!!!!  I eat chocolate for breakfast !!!  Shhh... Dont tell anyone !!! ........

OK..... We got ... The Good Witch, Dorothy, The Scarecrow.... Who wants to be... The TinMan, The Cowardly Lion, Toto....Or the Wizard ?????  Better yet .... The lollipop Kids !!!!! 

 ....... Now I know what to watch tonight !!!!! There is nothing on TV tonight !!!

Good day ! Unfortunately I do not own a copy! I will have to go out and get one so I can join you! Do you watch CSI, SURVIVOR or ER? Those are my weaknesses I will admit to you....especially CSI and ER.

You guys have really cheered me up....thanks a bunch! Maybe I should go out and get some chocolate unfortunately....have had a rather bad bout of IBS today....not ready to punish myself further. LOL!

OK so its about these nightime episodes I am having the past 10 nights or so that I called my neuro about that he said nothing about LOL again....see I am working on my humour, he he he!

again last night...bizarro world/recurring dreams/seizures/feels like awake all night but sleeping???? almost knocked poor hubby outta the bed and I did wake both of us up this time I had rolled us both to the far side of his side of the bed....what do u guys think????Never had a restless night of sleep in .36 years???????Hope you are all having a great choclatey day lol!!! (((Sheena))) aka the sleepless scarecrow