How old are you and what to you do for a living?

This topic is really on my mind right now, because it was only two years ago that I was at the top of my game in a respected position with the money and a title.  I worked at the same company for eight years.  Now I make less then half and I literally feel like I'm 20 years back in time as far as a career.  The worst part is I feel like I'm unable to do what I do.  The fog is a bom waiting to happen for me.  I worry that I'm going to be called on when I make a major mistake and right now it's a 50 little mistakes all day.  I have told everyone, but when I make the mistakes that causes major trouble... what will happen?

My husband will not think of me quiting so that I can be a mother to our four (combined) children and take better care of myself.  The money is such an issue, because at 40 years old we have braces, college, commitments, and retirement that we are worried about.  The truth is if he said quit today.  I would do it just to be happier, feel better and be a better wife and mom.

Please share with me your story pertaining to work.  I'm at a loss.

Thank you in advance for your help,

Tricia

Hi Tricia,

 

What a great topic to bring up.  I think a lot of us (including me) have so many concerns regarding our Fibro and employment.

 

Before my lupus/fibro diagnosis, I went to photography school for a year. It was my passion and hobby since childhood.  I wanted to have a self-employed career using what I love to do as a hobby.  Make money at what I love!

 

So I graduated and came home, and got started shooting friend's and family, weddings, babies, etc.  Then my diagnosis came. I was one sick puppy.  I took 2 years off to get well, and then went into my business full time in 2003.  Despite the fibro and lupus, I have been able to sustain my business and shoot up to 20 weddings a year plus other work.  It's been wonderful.

 

The downfall came this year.  My fibro turned into a raging beast.  I can't work as much as I used to be able.  2009 is going to be 75% less busy.  I'm really upset and devestated by my health right now.  But I still have this business where I can decide just how busy I'm going to be.  It works great for scheduling doctor's appointments, etc.  My schedule, my time.  I'm the boss!

 

Is there a hobby you love that you can do from home and make some money at it? Photography is really a great "do from home" possibility.  YOu don't even need a studio.  Just a pretty corner in your home with good lighting and some neat props. 

 

I hope you get lots of feedback on your topic Tricia, I wish you the best in your search!

Ginny

I am a 39 year old and I have a fulltime professional career in HR management in a large manufacturing plant.  Fibromyalgia does slow me down a lot but I think the fact that I have lived with a chronic disease (type 1 diabetes) for the last 26 years has numbed me to the tiredness and pain that comes along with fibro.  For some reason, I feel my best when I am busy working.  I would not be able to work in a non-desk type of job.  The pain usually starts right when I wake up and I am able to brush it aside (usually) while I am working.  It sets back in almost daily during my drive home.  For this reason, I have a hard time slowing down and relaxing - it usually hurts too much.   It is a catch 22 because if I don't slow down, I will pay for it as well.  It is definately a balance act.  It is hard to keep up with the kids and house while working FT and being in pain/tired.  I have had to sacrafice my tidy house.  I do find that I flare up during travel and all day meetings.  It is the all day sitting that causes my throbbing aches to go crazy.

I am 42 and work as a Secretary/Bookkeeper for a Tree Business. I am very lucky that I can make my own hours and I am the only one in the office. Even this is getting too much for me anymore. I find myself falling asleep in my chair, forgetting things that I have always done, & hurting too much to sit for very long.

Before this, I worked in a factory for 10 years. My body just couldn't take it anymore & I found myself barely making it through my 8 hrs. every day.

I applaud all of you out there with young children to take care of. I don't know how you do it. I find that just watching my grandchildren every once in a while tires me out. I will be cutting back my hours soon because of slow business in winter & I have to say that I look forward to it!

I don't know how long I will be able to keep on working. Even though I have an easy job it seems like that is even getting to be too much. I worry all the time about the income loss, but for now I just take it day by day.

Thank you so much for sharing your stories.  We all have so much in common in one way or another.  I find myself feeling so guilty at work.  I know that the mistakes I make cause concern and I try so hard to focus and double check my work.  I never call in sick.  I have worked through a migraine to show that I am of value.  I just know that I can't keep this up forever.  All my energy is spent getting to work and back to make the little money that I do (no benefits or sick days) and I ask myself would I be healthier sleeping in taking care of my family, getting a nap and having time to exercise and more importantly getting to the doctors I need to see.  I was told by my Rhuemy to see a Psychologist about my anxiety and I really don't have the time. 

Your stories help and it's not to know that others are suffering as I am.  It's the fact that we understand eachother so well.  I'm often amazed at the fact that there are so many of us fighting the same battle just to live a normal life.

I was searching for famous people that suffer from Cronic pain and another fibro site suggested that it would be the death of their career, I just can't help but think... if we only had a Michael J. Fox on our side.

Please keep sharing.

Tricia

Sharon,

You absolutely should post here! Your story is important. You have taken a loss of career, and showed us that you are still productive and have something to contribute - you are to be praised!

I believe that as long as we are this side of heaven, we ALL have something to offer.

Sounds like you are making good use of your gifts and talents, hun.

Keep up the good work!

Gentle Hugs,
Julie

For the newbies who haven't heard my story, I am all too happy to repeat myself.  I do it all the time, anyway-especially when I don't mean to.

 

Up until early this year, I had worked almost 17 years as a veterinary technician (14 of them as a licensed tech).  I have suffered from back pain for years-brought on by heavy lifting, and my very large chest size.  My employer started cracking down and made me get a note from my GP-excusing me from heavy lifting.  BTW-at the time, I was working ER/critical care, so a lot of times when it's literally a life & death situation, you don't have the luxury to ask someone to help you lift a 75 pound dog.  

 

Last year, I broke my leg at work, and I had a terrible time with pain from just a "simple stress fracture."  Worker's Comp was something foreign to me, and I really think I got lost in the system (not to mention screwed over by it).  I was sent to orthopedic surgeons, 2 different neurologists (one just told me I was too fat ), and I still could not get any pain relief.  Finally, after 10 months, I couldn't afford to live on worker's comp, so I just asked to be released so I could return to work.  Great, right?  Wrong!

 

As soon as I was released, my employers informed me of a "new policy" they had saying that in order to work there, I had to be able to life 50 pounds on my own.  With all this pain I was having (besides the leg), there was just no way I could do that.  So, my employer said that I needed my GP to either sign off-saying that I could lift the full 50 pounds, or I needed to go on disability.  I felt absolutely lost. Should I just get my doc to sign off-even though I knew there was no way I could continue this painful hell I was going through, or do I try to convince him that I need disability?  By the time I finally saw him, I was an emotional basketcase.

 

I was shocked when he listened to everything I told him and after I told him that there was no way I could lift 50 pounds by myself, he suggested that I go on disability.   Now, in CA, they have their own state disability, so all I had to do was fill out forms and he had to fill out some forms and then I was approved.  I got my GP to write an excuse to my employer saying that I was going on disability.  I hand carried that excuse to work, and everything seemed fine.  The very next day, I received a certified letter in the mail saying that my position at work could not be held and I was being terminated.  If and when I got better, I could call them and see if there was an opening.

So, I know what you are all thinking...that's illegal, right?  Uh, there are about a million loopholes that employers can use-and it was legal.  Also, did I really want to work at a place who obviously considered me expendable?  I'm sorry, but I had 17 years experience and I was darn good at what I did.  If they want to hire some kid off the street to work ER (where you have to know your **** and not freak out), then go for it.  I wouldn't trust my animal there.

 

Anyway, it was about this time that I finally gave up and decided to fufill my mom's dream and move home to SC.  It took about 6 months, and now I've been living with my parents for over a month.  If my hair wasn't already falling out, I'd tear it out myself.  It has been a struggle-to say the least.  My mom and I have a "moment" at least once a day (and we had a huge blowup last week).  I'm just waiting on some sort of good news (hopefully I can get SS) so I can get out of here.  Grown children are not supposed to live with their parents.

 

So, that's my story.  Oh, I'll be 37 on November 29th.  I am still a licensed veterinary technician.  And, I live with my parents.  You tell me how I feel.

Meggie: one of the most important things I learned when dealing with teenage daughters.

Drama Trauma: Here today, gone tomorrow.

Ya know how they can come to you and cry and wail and they are convinced the world is coming to an end? It's usually over a friend, or a boy. Well, you listen and support and dry their tears, make their favorite dinner. You do all you can to make them happy, because you can't be happy when they aren't. So you lose sleep that night trying to figure out their problem, how to make it better, what to say to them. The next day after school, you approach the subject again with kid gloves, and try to discuss the issue again and offer your worldly insights...and they look at you like you're from outer space, and say, "Oh, that. Well, I'm over it. So and so did x, y, or z, so it's all better. Can I have some money to go to the mall?"

I'm a slow learner, so this experience was repeated a number of times before I realized: be loving and supportive, but don't lose any sleep over it. Tomorow is a new day, and there will be another Drama Trauma. Just put your big girl panties on and deal with it.

Hope that helps reduce your stress level somewhat with the day to day.

Gentle Hugs,
Julie

I just turned the magical 40 years old, and got my dx for Fibro a week later. Yay me! I am a senior telephone customer service rep for an insurance company. Before I started working for my current employer 10 years ago, I worked various jobs, and I do mean various. I was like a Shannon of all trades, lol! Not knowing what I really wanted to do with my life, I worked as a student bus driver in high school, worked for different temp agencies, was a security guard in two states, and even took CNA classes and became a CNA. I thought that might be the right thing to do since my mother had been a nurse for many years, and I loved helping folks. However, office politics in medical settings set me straight, so I quit. When I got hired at my present company, I thought I would get bored with this job, too. But, before I knew it, I was celebrating my 10 year anniversary. And until the day FM finally wins the battle, I plan to stay just where I'm at.

Hello all

well i am 29 years old.. i went through college for hotel restaurant management in hopes of becoming a pastry chef, and opening my own shop. However after being diagnosed in 2001 with fibro that dream went down the drain. Since i can't stand extreme heat and cold i can't work in the food industry. so i thought i would go to the hotel side of things.. but soon found out that i can't do shift work. I love to garden as well so thought about doing landscaping but the physical demand is to much for me. So here i am living at home with my parents (not much longer though :) ) and working at a lumber yard so i don't have to do nights.. I work either 8-5:30, 7-4:30 or 8-4 i don't work outside in the yard but i do work inside the store. which means i can lift anywhere from .5lbs up to 100lbs at times. Usually i am on the customer service desk but lately that is even that is getting to much.... i get home exhausted most days i can't even make it through the day unless i come home on my hour lunch eat and have a 20-30 min nap... by the time i get home around 6 all iw ant to do is collapse. but usually i don't since i am doing cleaning or laundry or helping out with chores.. by the time i get to bed all iw ant to do is sleep but usually all i do is sleep shallow for about 2 hours then am awake for 3 then back for 2 then up for one and back to sleep for 30 or 40 minutes. I am in constant pain.

I force myself each and everyday to get my *** out of bed and go to work and do what i need to do when all i want to do is stay in bd and sleep for the rest of my life or cry from the pain. I was raised that you don't miss work unless you are on your deathbed. And you do what needs to be done no matter what. I know my parents don't understand how i feel. They always say we all are tired and sore but still have to do this or that.... I would love for my mom especially to take a week in my life and feel how it is to not be able to do once you what you used to.. or have the energy you long for all the time.... I always used to do my makeup and hair before i left the house.. Now i am lucky to wash my hair.. ican't blowdry my hair cuz my arms go numb from being above my head and my hands ache and cramp up from holding the brush and blow dryer. i am 29 and feel like i am 100 at times.

I hate being told that i look tired and i should get some rest. There are times when all i want to do is go back to before i had fibro and stay at that point in time.. but when i look back i don't think there was a time when i didn't have it... i can probably go as far back as 1993 with having the symptoms of fibro.

I hope my story helps.. I don't want to go on disability but i don't think i am going to have a choice soon.. although there is the chance of going back to school

First let me says, soft hugz and lots of them too.
I've just turned 43, a stay at home mom cause my daughter was born with
a serious heart defect, Critical Aortic Stenosis for which she had open heart surgery at twelve days old,
Well, she'll be 18 next March doing pretty good heart wise, but has to be
watch once a year, by a cardiologist. We are facing college cost as well and
sure hope she can get scholarships.
anyways enoguh of my rambling...
soft hugz to everyone...

I am 39 and work 3 nights/week as a waitress. I have always loved my job, I liek the fast pace, but this summer was a real struggle for me. I had a hard time just walking somedays, and the memory was failing fast. Luckily, I am feeling much better now, adn I enjoy gettign out of the house. Good thing too, because i was stressing about what woudl happen if I had to quit. As a waitress, you get next to nothign for UI, since they don't look at tips earned, which is the bulk of my income. I coudl not do a desk job. There are some days when I want to be at the computer, but I just can't sit for that long. I spend most of my day standing and walking around, and that I think has helped me tremendously with pain control.