Newest Cure for Fibro-mites

BILLY MAYS HERE, FOR JOLT AND JERK, OUR NEW AND IMPROVED SHOCK COLLAR FOR TODAY'S fIBRO-MITE!  THIS LOVELY COLLAR IS CRAFTED FROM IMPORTED CORINTHIAN LEATHER AND ADORNED WITH SIX CULTURED PEARLS...NOT ONLY A SHOCK COLLAR BUT AN ASSET TO YOUR JEWELRY COLLECTION AS WELL!  INSIDE THE LEATHER BAND THERE ARE TINY MICRO-CHIPS DESIGNED BY NASA SCIENTISTS, AS WELL AS A MOTION DETECTOR.  ARE YOU TOO CLOSE TO THAT SHIN BUSTING COFFEE TABLE...ZAPPPPP!  ARE YOU about TO POUR CINNAMON ALL OVER YOUR POTATO SALAD INSTEAD OF PAPRIKA...HOLY CRAP...A JOLT THAT WILL MAKE YOUR FINGERS TINGLE FOR A WEEK...OUCH! YOU WON'T DO THAT AGAIN!  ARE YOU SO OUT OF IT THAT YOU BEGIN TO STICK THE HOUSE KEY IN THE CAR INGNITION?  NOT WITH THE JOLT AND JERK AROUND YOUR NECK...BZZZZZZ...NOW, DON'T SWALLOW YOUR TONGUE!

NEVER AGAIN WASH YOUR CLOTHES IN LIME AWAY!  BLAMO!

COMES IN FOUR MAGNIFICENT COLORS...PINK, BLUE, GREEN AND BLACK.  THERE ARE THREE CONVEINENT SETTINGS, 110 VOLTS, 220 VOLTS AND 'STUN GUN'.  CALL 1-800-SHOCK ME AND TELL THE OPERATOR BILLY SENT YOU!  IF YOU CALL IN THE NEXT TEN MINUTES WE WILL DOUBLE OUR OFFER AND INCLUDE A POLYMER MOUTH GUARD AND A HOCKEY HELMET, A $40.00 VALUE!

YES, I AM SCREAMING BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I DO!

CAUTION:  DO NOT USE IN THE SHOWER OR WHILE SWIMMING. AND OF COURSE, OUR MONEY BACK GUARANTEE MINUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING.  KEEP THE MOUTH GUARD AS OUR GIFT!

Oh...I wish it would quit snowing so I could get a life!

hugs,

donna

 

Rofl ty ty ty

Gr8 1 again. I like the mouth guard and the helmet.

Donnaeil

Donna,

That was so funny :) Thank you so much, lol.

Margie it is sprinkling here a little, how about there??? We have no snow or ice left.

 

I'm sorry Donna that you are having more snow but as long as your snowed in you will entertain us. Can this be put on permantely or do we have to remember to put it on everyday???

 

I'm waiting for the fabric glue to come out in the stores that have "as seen on TV" stuff so I can glue the darn cushions on the back of my couch so they will stay put. Don't ever buy a couch with loose cushions on the back. It's guaranteed to fix everything including a parachute.

 

luv and hugs

Marlee

 

 

Marlee,

We're getting the same here. Just some sprinkles off and on. I can't believe all that snow is gone! Thought it would be here till April! Let me know when that glue comes out. I've got a lot of places I could use it!

Hugs!!  Margie

Marlee...you won't have to remember to wear it every day because once your brain stem is fried, the skin on your face is shriveled up and there is no more hair on your head, you will have learned your lesson and the Fog will never return.  it's called 'Bi-nomial-tansversion hydro-cortisone lactotrioctane dysplasia'.  Billy guarantees it and even if it doesn't work, just think of the lovely mouth guard you get to keep as a free gift.

No more shin-busting for me!  I'll risk the third degree burns on my neck...plus when I'm done with it I can try it on my dog who keeps wandering out of the yard!  Such a deal!

donna