My marriage is in trouble...

Finding validation is not win-win. In order for the counselor to validate your feelings your Husband will have his scrutinized. If the next meeting does not throw him a bone he will likely quit going......Your husband will not open up completely with you in the room. I suggest he have a one-on-one with the counselor so that your husband can speak freely without concern of hurting your feelings or having his words and thoughts used against him. 

I feel like there is more to this story than we are getting so I am hesitant to condemn him.........

He does feel ganged up on and will resist the advise of your counselor unless someone validates his feelings and works with him on changing his outlook on the relationship. 

Remember that this has to be win-win or it will never last.

 omg tulip...I'm so sorry.I'm sitting here crying like a baby...its so unfair to you and those girls.I'm sure he feels his reasons are justified,maybe they are,but when a spouse gets sick you just don't give up because'I don't feel the same anymore'.,anybody who has been married awhile knows that the passionate love changes,it shifts to another level.I'm so upset for you.How would he feel if the shoe was on the other foot?If you told him what he has told you...you are in my prayers.

Post Edited By Moderator (Sherrine) : 1/24/2009 1:03:35 PM (GMT-7)

Tricia, I'm so sorry it has come to this. I have been reading the posts the past few days, praying this would work out for you. Although this isn't the way I hoped things would be, I think in the long run it will be better for you. You deserve to have someone in your life that is 'for' you all the way. He had it w/ you, and he didn't appreciate it.

You have so much good in your life, your two daughters and your incredible inner strength. He certainly lacks your strength. You seem to have your focus on the future, for you and your girls. That is where it should be. You have the support of your family and friends, your job, and we here are in your court. You are strong and you will come out on top. My thoughts and prayers are w/ you and your children.

This is a new start for you, you will make the most of it.

God bless.  Alice.

Tricia, I'm sorry to hear this. I have been in your shoes twice now. I have no doubt in my mind that both of my marriages were causing more harm than good in my life (and my sons)and it was for the best. I also agree with you on the part where they can just leave when there are so many blessings staring them in the face. I do not want a man like that either. Both of my ex husbands have regretted their behavior but by that time it was too late. And I never look back. When I am done, I am done. Mind you it takes alot to hit my bottom.

Life will go on no matter what and I know you will pick yourself up and dust yourself off and begin a new phase in your life and we'll be here for you-

GamJill

Tricia,

Sounds like his mind has been made up for some time. Sometimes it is easier for men to start over than to work at rebuilding and unfortunately some men take the easy way out.

Keep your chin up and do not let his short comings affect your outlook and self esteem. I hope for you that the man of your dreams has been waiting for your availability!!

Please help me!
I have been taking soya milk since I was 43 years old but I don’t think that it has helped me at all.
My serious hell started at age 43 and I am 49 now. Diagnosis was hormonal changes. My doctor put me on Zoloft, klonopin, xanax, flexril, pain killers, and prescribed many other meds to control my very frightening panic attacks, depression, fibromyalgia, migraine, arthritis type pains, knee pains, insomnia, restless legs, tingling, numbness, hot flashes, and many other indescribable symptoms.
Nothing helped. I stopped going to work and stayed in bed most of the year and a year later stopped taking all of the prescription meds because of the serious side effects etc. I continued the Zoloft though. Zoloft helped with my panic attacks but all other symptoms are intact and some new symptoms have joined the list.
New development is that about 6 months ago I started feeling very tired, drained, exhausted, thinking became slow; weight won’t come off (put on 40 lbs last couple of years). My depression and other symptoms listed above worsened.
Now in Dec. of 2008 I got my annual physical done and the blood test showed that my thyroid hormone was low (hypothyroidism) so my doctor put me on Levoxyl which drove me even more crazy (manic depressive type symptom, restlessness, blurry vision, and vomiting. Ear infections, sore throat, cough that won’t go away for weeks. But there were moments here and there when I found myself feeling good and happy but the moments didn't last longer than half hour. There was one week when I didn't get any migraines and my appetite reduced but then there were times when I felt very very hungry and ended up eating a lot.
Fed up with my indescribable hell and the doctors I decided to check into some alternative medicines, home remedies, and herbs. A friend who is a nurse and has been going through worse hell recommended that I start taking Thyroidinum 30cc, a homeopathic tincture, and slowly stop the Levoxyl. So I ordered it online. Then I researched on Black kohosh and bought it in liquid form from whole foods. I also bought chamomile liquid form and progesterone cream. I looked for bioidentical hormonal creams but didn't find any so decided that I will try progesterone cream.
OnDec. 26, 2009 I started taking 10 drops in 1 ounce of water three times a day and at night before going to bed I started taking black kohosh only 10 drops in water. Recommended dose of black kohosh is 30 drops in water three times a day (total 90 drops a day). I was little afraid to take that much because I read some reports which said that it can cause liver damage. I tried it couple of times during the day but it made me feel funny so I stopped taking it during the day time.
Now I don’t know what’s making me feel good whether it’s Levoxyl adjusting to my body or or black kohosh. Believe it or not I have never slept like this in my whole life before as I have in the past one week. I go to bed at 10 PM and wake up at 9 AM. I have no idea what happens in between. I am happy. Energy is great. I go out to do things I had lost interest in in the past 6 years. No migraines. No joint pains. No body pains. It almost feels like I am woken up from a very long sleep. I don't know what’s making me feel good. It’s too early to tell but I will keep you all posted if anything changes. Please give me feedback regarding my condition and the meds I am on. I started without consulting a homeopathic doctor and I want to quit Levoxyl and Zoloft in the next week or two. I am afraid to do so but I am really fed up with the doctors heavily medicating me for the past 6 years and all I have felt is minute help in couple of symptoms and gotten twenty additional side effects from the prescriptions. I have not had a normal life since I turned 43 and I will be turning 49 in Feb this year.
Please help me guys.

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Post Edited By Moderator (Marlee2) : 2/1/2009 6:48:39 AM (GMT-7)