Could all this send me into a MAJOR FLARE???

I am having one of the worse flares ever.  My lower back, thighs in front,

neck, shoulders, arms, wrists......all over. I took a stress level test and it rated "high stress".  In the last 6 months this is what has occured.......

my brother died November 13th ........my best friends husband died

unexpectedly 4 weeks ago, my daughter in law is 8 weeks pregnant and

does not want the baby, and my son and her are ready to split.  My husband is under tremendous pressure and his diabetes is causing him to go into rages.  My supervisor at work was diagnosed with brain and lung cancer in Sept and Hospice has been called in yesterday to help her pass away without pain. I thought I was handling things well, but my body is telling me something else. Is it possible that all these stressors is causing the God-awful flare.  I miss my brother sooooooooooooo much, and my heart aches for my son.  I am a TOTAL mess right now, and am SCARED!!!!

Thanks for letting me vent

Sue

Oh Sue,

You've really had alot of stressful and sad things happening in your life.  I'm so sorry about your brother.  I didn't know. And with all of the other things going on I wouldn't be surprised if you were having a lot of anxiety and of course that always equals a flare.. at least for me it does.  If nothing else you sure could use a break from all of the difficult things that you've been going through.

I hope things get better for you.  I'll keep you close in my thoughts and prayers.

Warm hugs,

Sue, I'm so sorry for all the sadness going on in your life. Your losses and seeing ppl you love having so much going on can certainly bring on a terrible flare. You have to be gentle w/ yourself, your DH needs to get his diabetes under control or he will have more problems.

I don't know what kind of weather you are having now, but is it possible for you to get out for a bit of a walk each day. Just a quiet, peaceful place to relax and unwind. I have found either walking or riding my indoor bike helps w/ the crazy stress. Then maybe a soak in a bubble bath or a hot shower. A heating pad is my best friend, maybe it could help your sore spots. Could you and your DH give each other a back rub, it sounds like you both are stressed. It might help the two of you.

I will keep you in my prayers, to ease your pain in all areas.

God bless.  Alice.

 

Ms. Tootie (((soft hugs))) for you, and many of my smiles coming your way. I think something odd about this disorder is how we are so able to see in others how stress works against them, yet when it comes to ourselves, we can't see it. I don't know if this is a good thing, like a protective oblivion, or a bad thing, where we continue to push ourselves beyond what is reasonable. Yes, I think this emotional stress has caused you to ride a roller coaster of feelings and responsibilties. I believe that you are a woman who cares greatly about those you love and admire, and feel deeply when those you love are in life situations that you can't solve. Take a deep breath, remember the people who care about you and are keeping you in prayer, and continue to take it one day at a time and try not to do more than you can handle. I hope your flare and pain will reduce more and more each day.

Thanks for all your posts, ladies. Just reading the words make me feel better.
I didnt sleep at all last night the pain was so bad. I have tried Ambien but that does nothing. Its so hard to let go of all the stresses when it involves the ones you love,
especially my son. He is studying for his State license for Nursing and needs to pass it. He is currently working in a large hospital in ER and loves it.
I cant make heads or tails of what my daugter in law is all about. They have only been married 6 months and it has been a living hell since day one. I posted earlier last week she was spotting and wouldnt go to the dr. She went on Tues of this week and the Dr said all was ok. She is still smoking...arghhhhh. I called her and asked her how she was feeling and she hung up on me after calling me a few choice words. Oh, that made me feel great, huh. My girlfriends husband (58) was being treated for a sinus infection for 6 weeks. His pain got so bad he went to ER and they did emergency brain surgery where they found a tumor the size of an egg.
He never came out of the coma and she had to make the decision to take him off
life support. He was a wonderful man. She is almost in a catatonic state and when I call her (she wont see anyone) she doesnt make much sense. I worry about her so much. I know I have to let go of some of these things. I cant talk to my husband as he doesnt believe Fibro is real. So that really adds to my stress. I am so glad I have this forum to be able to vent. Thanks so much!!! Hope you all have a pain free day

Sue

Thanks Patsie.......I do lay down during the day, but I have to be careful because if my husband calls and he can tell I am napping he gets mad. Your hubby says exactly the same as mine does. Tells me to do things to keep my mind off the pain.
Well thats easier said then done, isnt it??? Was going to go for a walk, but the temps dropped from 40 to 22 this morning and the cold really gets to me. Last time I saw the dr he wanted me to gain some weight. I am 5 2 and weigh 105. He said weight would help with the pain???? Doesnt make sense to me. I do feel very undernourished, but its hard for me to eat a lot. I see my counselor this morning,
as I have severe anxiety and panic disorder. I could type forever, but my back hurts so much right now. Need to go get ready to see counselor and it is even an effort to put on makeup and curl my hair, but maybe I will feel better. Thanks hon.
You are all blessings to me

Sue

A-w-w-w Sue, I am so sorry to hear about all of this.

My gosh, yes all of this I am sure is causing this flare. Lots of stress does me in and you have tons going on right now. Your "grieving" - which is one of the hardest things to have to go through. You have lost your brother- give yourself permission to feel sad and out of sorts! And to take extra rest periods (naps), your body needs to right now.  

I relate to studying for state exams for nursing- it is VERY stressful, but your son will pass or he won't-  If he doesn't pass there is a waiting period and he can take them again. If this is something he really wants he will get it!

DIL, She sounds like she is a piece of work and mean. Now that there is a baby involved it complicates the heck out of things. I would be concerned too because that is your grandbaby. One day at a time, one day at a time would be my mantra right now if I were you- this is not going to be easy.

Your good friend is probably as low as she can go- so with more "time" she will have no place to go but up. I know you want to be there for her, but remember you are going through alot of your own stuff. 

Let us know how your doing-

GamJill 

Oh {{{{{dear Tootie}}}}}

I am so very sorry that all of this is going on in your life right now. I do hope this doesn't send you into a major flare-please take as much gentle care of yourself as you can.

I will be praying for you and your family.

{{{{{{{{{lots of soft hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}

Tootie, the trauma you are going through definitely will cause a flare.  One of the worst times in my life is what kicked in the fibro fog, along with more pain. 

 

Jeannie is right.  A good cry works wonders.  I would get in the shower.  The hot water made my muscles feel better and I cried until the hot water ran out.  I felt like a load had been lifted off my shoulders.

 

You might try Lamaze breathing, too.  I take a deep breath through my nose and blow it slowly out my mouth...like you are blowing from a straw.  This helps release some tension and helps to relax the muscles.

 

I know you are doing and have done all that you can do.  You are only one person.  Be kind to yourself.  This will all pass some day. 

 

Sherrine

Sue, you might consider going to grief therapy.  Hospitals usually hold classes once a week for maybe 4-6 weeks.  I did that when my husband died.  It did help and helps put things in perspective.  It sounds like you are still grieving badly and when you hear of others sick and dying it brings your brother back up to the surface. 

 

It does take a while to get over a loss like that but we sometimes need a little help.  Also, this puts our own mortality to the forefront.  So, I think it would be good to contact your hospital or even a funeral home to see if there are any grief classes going on.  It didn't cost me anything, if I remember correctly.  If it did, it wasnt much and it was worth it to me.  Hope this helps.

 

Sherrine

Sue, hindsight is 20/20.  Don't put yourself there.  You loved your brother and still do.  He knew/knows that too.  You can't be everywhere and you can't read the future.

 

My husband was in Florida when he died.  I was in Ohio preparing for the relocation to Florida.  He called me 15 minutes before he died.  He was "fake" yawning...I could tell...and said he was tired.  I teased him and said, "You just don't want to talk to me, do you."  He perked right up and said, "No, no!  That's not it" and continued the conversation.  We talked for about five more minutes and then we hung up.  Sue, I have often thought, was he having a heart attack then but didnt want to alarm me?  If I had hung up earlier, could he have gotten help a little faster and still be with me?  This is such unproductive thinking.  I will never know the answer to that in this lifetime.  I loved and love him and was there for him throughout our marriage.  He knew how much I loved him, too.  So, why do I want to torment myself over something I really didn't have any control over?  It's easy to think these things when the "future" is now the "past".  See what I mean? 

 

So, just put those negative, destructive thoughts out of your mind.  I can tell you that these thoughts are not from God, either!You were always there for your brother and he loved you for that.  Think of all the good times you had together...the memories you two created.  That's how you want to remember him.  That's how you honor him.

 

Sherrine 

Sherrine.........awwwww, that was so sad!!!!!!  I cant imagine how you felt and what you had to go thru.  I sometimes wonder if my brother didnt want to bother me and tell me he wasnt feeling well.  You amaze me Sherrine,

your strength to carry on.   Thanks for sharing that with me.

Marlee.......I cant imagine what your loss was like.  We never stop crying for our love ones that we lose.  But its a part of life, and we take the good with the bad.  I have an ultrasound machine, but that doesnt even seem to work right now.  I took an extra xanax and I could actually feel the muscles start to loosen up.  You also, Marlee, are an extra special lady.

Ladies, thank you for sharing with me your story.  It makes me feel that I am not alone in this world. I am hoping for a good nights sleep tonite.

Writing here on the forum today has made me feel better.

You are all so wonderful

Sue

Hi Tootie,

I am SOOOOOO sorry you got this virus. I think this is what my son got and could not come home for his birthday. Be very careful b/c he went back to work too soon and relapsed. Then he had a real rough go and he is young.

Amazing these men, how about bringing you a glass of water or even a smile. You know Tootie the longer I live the more amazed I am. I think most men just behave that way so we won't burden them with things. Do you know what I mean by setting up zero expectations, they are genius at that.

Than God for your son. My son is the same way, a saint among sinners hehehe!

Get better lady, Patsie