Dear QTKaren: I am sorry you are having such difficulties. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all go away. You have an uphill climb ahead of you. You will need a lot of faith, Determination and support. God works in mysterious ways. Often when something bad happens, we don't understand why. Then several years llater, we discover we are being used for a greater purpose. It's just that when we are going through the anguish, we do not see through to the other side.
I love those ah-ha moments, when after much work and struggle, one gets to see why. Why things happen the way they do. I hope you can find a silver lining inside this cloud soon. God Bless You and yours.