Also new to this forum.....

I'm not crazy - I'm not possessed - I'm not weak, lazy, or emotionally unstable (well, maybe the last one fits...at times)

I was dx fibro about a year ago. I originally went in with anxiety and depression .......... doc gave me xanax so I could begin to leave the house again.......then the pain really set in............long cold winter and flooding in the spring knocked me down and kicked my azz.

I happened to be limping into the living room when a documentary was on the Discovery channel. This lady was talking about how when her kids came running, she would cringe......"don't hurt me...gentle"...WHAT??? How she had relief from her pain .........blah blah - WHAT???

You mean it's not supposed to hurt when people touch you? I did not know that - it's always hurt to be touched ..... this lady sounds just like me.......fibroWHAT??? I googled, I chose John Hopkins info - cried and cried with relief -

holy crap - it has a name - there are treatments - I am not crazy - this is me

I hi lighted the info for hubby - sensitivity to sound and light - rashes, joint pain, insomnia, fatigue - his eyes got bigger as he went down the list - he looked up at me - and said - "this is exactly what you have".

YES ! High fricken FIVE !

So I went back to my doc and showed her my Google which she really wasn't impressed with - LOL - at first.....we went over the last year of visits - chest pain, abdominal pain, anxiety, depression, weight gain, fatigue, pain, pain and more general pain....exercise? Ha - hurts too much - I'm just fat doc...it's all my own fault see? I let myself get fat when I moved to Iowa from Az - fat people just hurt right ? That's what I've heard....

I'm just depressed because I've been cooped up raising kids for 3 years ....housewife blues...must be, right ?

Now I want to go work at this cool camp and I'm so tired and so anxious I pace and what the hell is wrong NOW ???? *screams*........... I'll be hiking trails and cleaning cabins and fresh air and exercise and I'm gonna be back to my old self in no time - right ?

No ....... the last year has been hell.

Cymbalta REALLY helps with the anxiety and depression - but PMS time is a whole nuther world - wow..........I actually hadn't had xanax since last summer but I called and asked for some this last time.

Of course along with IGNORING the fibro - pretending I don't mind the pain - I work at the camp as I said - and I also clean houses.....I feel like I am killing myself.

I also feel like if I stop moving - I will stop moving. I will get fatter and weaker - and I imagine myself a big blob of uninteresting miserable flesh creating a dip in the couch.

Sorry this is so long but I feel new, yet not ....... instead of information hounding on fibro - I just read the basics and then started listening to my body mind and especially spirit. For the last year I have pretended this will go away , the Cymbalta will take care of it - and I am just getting worse.

I want to keep working as I have a very flexible schedule and like what I do. I have 3 kids - 5, 11, and 19 - and I am exhausted all the time.

I take nothing other than Cymbalta - not even Tylenol because I worry about all that wear and tear on the stomach and liver processing it all.

The only other thing that gave me 3 pain free days and I quit doing it because I'm "too busy" was a yoga ball. Oh my Lord the stretch you can get on that thing is heaven and I really began to feel stronger - for like a few days - LOL ! Then I quit - tomorrow, tomorrow - I'm late again - I'll do it later.....

I haven't given up dairy or breads - ie gluten -

I don't know where to start - I just know now that being aware and being "aware" are 2 different things - if I do not take charge better of this thing it will continue to run my life for me .

Between working and kids and all this house and yard - I'm overwhelmed and in horrible pain !

Thanks for the place to rant - I appreciate finding it !!!

Post Edited (nmma) : 4/2/2009 5:03:09 PM (GMT-6)

Welcome Nmma, You really do get alot done.  As Chutz said become aware of what you are doing & the intensity of the flares.  We are all as different as night & day but at the same time we are so much the same, that we can almost finish each others sentences, & for me that's a big help. I find that coming here really pushes me to do more.  I have a fear of the flare but I really have to find a good balance.  You husband is so understanding & that is a definite plus.  Having a flexible schedule is a good thing & I hope you will be able to continue working.  Like Chutz, I do think Fibro is progressive & we all seem to have secondary illnesses.  One thing I have noticed about all of us here is we have all pushed ourselves over & above our limits.  Nice to meet you.  Come back often, hugs, Denise

You are all exactly right - and what has fallen by the wayside ?? My home - it's a pit - and that's OK for today -

I need to start with the woman in the mirror I think - *looks at coffee*

Do I have to give up coffee ?

say it isn't SO !?

Hi nmma, Welcome!  I'm new here too.  Thank God you have an understanding husband.  It really helps when you have supportive people around you. 

I use to push myself extremly hard raising my children, taking care of grandbabys and working full time... sometimes 50 hrs a week.  Now with Fibro... I've had to slow down. 

I also suffer with migraine disease and no one understood the debilitating effect of it.  Now being diagnosed with Fibro... maybe the migraines pain and everything are all connected.  Hang in there!  You doing a great job.  I was getting out of breath just listening to everything you do in spite of Fibro LOL 

I can't go in the morning without my coffee...but I drink 1/2 caf and 1/2 decaf Folgers.  It tastes great.  Because of my anxiety problems had to cut the caffeine.  The only time I drink coffee is in the morning... unless I go out to eat in the evening and order desert then I have some decaf.

I can't function without it. 

I take ibuprofen with food and extra strength Tylenol for pain.  I've been doing this for 22 years and haven't really had problems.  I am monitored by my doctor and I am taking Prilosec to help protect my stomach from the ibuprofen.  It protects against ulcers 70% of the time...according to my doctor.  I do have a liver panel done once or twice a year and my liver is just fine, thank you!  LOL 

I also take malic acid/magnesium supplements that have helped with pain and fatigue.  I also take a vitamin D supplement.  Many with fibro are deficient in vitamin D and that can cause pain and fatigue.  I have found that I don't need as much ibuprofen since I have upped the amount.  Your doctor can run a simple blood test to see how your levels are.

Be sure to check out the Fibro 101 thread...the second thread on the forum.  There are links to good information all about fibromyalgia, including a link all about the malic acid/magnesium supplements and how they work in the body.  They don't work for everyone but many have been helped.  Be sure to ask your doctor about them.  Mine thought I would be wasting my money but he said they wouldn't hurt me so I tried them and they did work! 

There is a link to  some great stretching exercises on Fibro 101 too.  These really do help and are done sitting down.  I do stretching and I walk daily and swim when the weather allows.  Light exercise is very good for you and helps keep the muscles flexible and it also helps with the pain.  But, if you overdo, then you will run into problems.  You do need to pace yourself with any activity.  You will learn what you can and cannot do.  Your body will let you know. 

I'm so glad you found us a joined in.  I hope to hear more from you soon.

Sherrine