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Please give me some of your ideas....

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Posted 4/8/2009 1:06 PM (GMT 0)
As many of you know, I am a writer and have had several books published.  I have pretty much given up on writing recently because of this flare that seems to never end.  But...I have a book that I wrote a couple of years ago that is still on my mind but I need to plump it up a little and maybe you all can help with some ideas.  It's called 'The Do It Yourself, Do It At Home Medical Guide'.  I came up with the idea after losing my health insurance and finding myself trying to treat myself without going to the doctor for every ache and pain.  It is satirical and humorous(sp?) and I have used things  like manly man tools and kitchen gadgets to perform surgical procedures and other illnesses at home.  Of course, I'm not being serious but with the Health Care system in this country being so expensive and with the millions of people that aren't insured, I am thinking this is a good time to finish the book.  My agent loves the idea.

So...what can you do with duct tape...a screw driver...a spatula...a hammer...

If you couldn't go to a doc for your fibro, what would you do???

Oh...if this is too off topic for the forum, I won't be insulted if a moderator removes this post.  I'll just take out your tonsils with a melon scoop!

Huggies

Donna

Posted 4/8/2009 2:32 PM (GMT 0)

If you've sliced your arm open, duct tape works great.  But it can be painful removing it.  The hair that is ripped from your arm can be Super Glued to the scalp to help hide male patterned baldness.  Sure beats the comb-over Donald Trump look!

I don't have any tonsils, Donna.  Na na nanana.

Sherrine
Posted 4/8/2009 2:35 PM (GMT 0)
Oh Donna, I could never begin to match your humor. Although something I have not written is the fact I published my first cookbook a year ago. It is all on seafood as we are in the seafood bus. It started out as a primer to help people sell fish but I could not handle that and wound up doing a full fledged book. Just learned it is on Martha's desk but who really cares, just interesting. My premise was taking a recipe and doing it very easy and taking the same recipe and kicking it up for entertaining. Interesting it is catching on and was only intended to help our bus.

Point being I was to start an all appetizer seafood book and have not been able to really get to square 1. I think it is just not inspiring me so need to think up something different as I did with my first book.

Yours sounds fascinating. An agent, you are big time Mama. We self published my first but I now have been approached by a couple of agents.

I suppose you cannot tell me your books and remain anonymous but I would love to read you. I am a passionate reader and do not know a genre I don't like.

I buy many things I need in the kitchen from hardware stores. I also use long rosemary branches for basting my seafood, maybe you can find some humor in that. Maybe the rosemary could be used afterwards to test reflexes. I'm no good!!!

Patsie
Posted 4/8/2009 5:24 PM (GMT 0)

Patsie...you go girl!  If you have an agent that will help you, and need to get your foot in the door, give him/her a try.  Cook books are always in demand and yours sounds very interesting.  The publishing business is nasty and the truth is, by the time the distributors, agents and book stores get their cut, there isn't much left for the author.  I'm going without an agent this time, even though he has my outline and likes the idea...15-20%?  Nah...even though they have more accesss to the big publishers.  I will tell you that Warner Books are the most open to unsolicited manuscripts.  Write a book that inspires you and go for it! 

And you don't have to match my humor...I could never write a cookbook...NEVER!(Unless it was 200 pages of making paste out of flour and water!)

Huggies

Donna

Posted 4/8/2009 5:32 PM (GMT 0)
Rolling pin to knead out the knots in your muscles. Self massage. You can even use one of those small ones you can hold in your hand. Naw, I'm not good at this either.
Posted 4/8/2009 5:46 PM (GMT 0)
You can use one of those bench on wheels thingies that mechanics use to get under a car for getting around the house....sure beats walking when your legs hurt.


Posted 4/8/2009 5:57 PM (GMT 0)
Tennis ball to massage your hurting feet. Super glue for cuts, Have yall noticed I am now a veteren member.. hello I am to young to ber a veteren..
Posted 4/8/2009 7:14 PM (GMT 0)
Lee Ann,

Congrats, this is a good thing to be a veteran at!!! I was thinking about something you wrote on the "secret day". You said how you didn't like to entertain or words to that effect. If you get this do you find that it really increases your pain? Is it the perfection thing or what??? I am in so much pain and have had so many social things of late. Just cannot stand it anymore and I hate that in my self.

Patsie
Posted 4/8/2009 7:17 PM (GMT 0)
One can perform a simple appendectomy at home. You will need a sharp kitchen knife, paper clips, dental floss, one package of sewing needles, a blow torch and a baseball bat.

Begin with the bat, anesthetizing the patient. Keep it handy for if family pets become bothersome or pesky neighbours drop by. Now locate the incision point with the use of an "operation" game. Eye-ball it, go on. Cut down until blood spurts out, but not so far as if intestinal contents spurt out. In other words, if the **** hits the fan, you've gone too far...

[I could go on, but I'm sure you don't want me to write the book for you!]
Have fun with it, btw...I'm an author too and would love to write comedy some day!
Posted 4/8/2009 7:25 PM (GMT 0)
K9 that was hilarious. How are you recovering? So good to see you post!!! Patsie
Posted 4/8/2009 7:26 PM (GMT 0)
Doing well, thanks. 8 weeks now since the surgery. I'm back to my 1/2 time job on Sunday...The fibro is neither worse nor better, so that's ok. I'm hoping that aerobic exercise daily will help give me my energy back.
Posted 4/8/2009 8:23 PM (GMT 0)

I'm not creative either, but I will be happy to share crazy ways we have taken care of medical needs.  Most are from when I was growing up.  My mother didn't drive and with six kids running around she needed to use what she had handy. 

There was the time my sister came running into the house after being bitten by a squirrel...my mom stuck her finger into a bottle of Listerine.

I was running around barefoot and cut the bottom of my fourth toe on a broken bottle neck.  My mother took a slab of chewing tobacco and wrapped it around my toe.

For a toothache we would bite on cloves.

A bee sting or other bug bite was covered with a paste of baking soda and water.

When my own kids would come in after a fall, I would give them a bag of frozen vegetables as an ice pack.

Then there was the time that my son came home from school with two tiny pencils scotch taped around his thumb as a split for a broken thumb!

Posted 4/9/2009 4:53 AM (GMT 0)
I don't think anyone mentioned this yet, but you can use the same muscle rub with menthol on your forehead as you do your calves. The menthol helps constrict the blood vessels. Peppermint candy also works for a sore throat.
Posted 4/9/2009 7:10 AM (GMT 0)
I can't figure out this site and how to add etc. but a lady that I told about the miracle colchicine said that she had pericarditis and the colchicine is used for that too. I typed that in with colchicine and "stumbled" into the healingwell site. There I saw a story so reminicent of PRE colchicine me that I just had to answer and then I stumbled into you all's chat line here and again I just have to tell ya about colchicine. The easiest thing is to go to the website that started me on a road to wellness 7 years ago. www.melungeonhealth.org (scroll down to Familial Mediterranean Fever) It was suggested to me because it is genetic and runs in my family. Well, just 3 days later I was hiking with my son. I had so many diagnosises and I see them on all you guys listings above. They are all associated with FMF and just 2-4 x a day of 0.6 mg colchicine,s a new person within a month.
SPEAKING of writting a book....if you have experience we should talk! It wouldn't be all that funny but it sure was FUN getting so well so fast. When my mom told my story to her doc when she went to him for a 30 day trial of colchicine he was smart alec and said well........that sounds like a miracle.....DUH!! I so want to pass all this on for everyone that has Fibro, Chronic Fatigue, TMJ, Carpel Tunnel, and on and on...see I need a book to give away! That website is just for information and is a gal that got amazingly well and was kind enough to share her story with me and here I am 7 years later and so blessed, I am now 62 this year and my mom 82 and we are both so changed it doesn't sound real.
Posted 4/9/2009 10:07 PM (GMT 0)
I was put on colchicine for gout and got very sick.  It can be poisonous.  It is not used for fibro as far as I know. I got off it.  Here is info about it. 

 

http://www.pdrhealth.com/drugs/altmed/altmed-mono.aspx?contentFileName=ame0204.xml&contentName=Autumn+Crocus&contentId=366

 

Sherrine

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