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Acceptance of new limits

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Posted 4/10/2009 7:59 PM (GMT 0)
Please feel free to add lightbulb moments here along with mine - what it's like finally accepting one's dx and what that is REALLY going to mean - in reality - not fantasy land.

I can no longer work full time. I accept it.

I can no longer run my business , because the quality would suffer as well as my health.

I have to take a nap everyday - my batteries start sputtering after 3 hours or so on my feet .

For me, having fibro means more lifestyle change - it means a commitment to stretching - moving - paying attention to what I'm putting in my body , mind and spirit -

It means more stillness - saying NO to people - putting up an imaginary shield that bounces others' stuff right back at them - "sorry you forgot your basketball bag sweetie - no, I'm not running it to you - I'm in pain and need to lay on this heating pad".

It means actually going to the Dr and taking some meds for this rather than continuing to let the quality of my life, and my family's life be affected.

To adjust my thinking to "healthy body, healthy mind. healthy spirit" rather than - "sick, weak, burden, hardship"

SO - a year after my initial dx - I gave up all my business - no more new - I kept 7 of my easiest, favorite clients and of course, the camp. I will be a little old lady and still working out there - having a hot cup of coffee from a cabin balcony watching the sun come up...........my goal is to be on a horse again by the end of summer -

I think I finally got it thru my head - the more you run from it - the faster it catches up to you -

What would you say the most beneficial lifestyle change is ?

 

Posted 4/10/2009 9:17 PM (GMT 0)
I'm also finding it funny - like constantly calling Dan the maintenance man at work - "come in here - do you smell that ?"

Dan looks at me puzzled and with a lil fear, I might add.

I say - louder - like that will help - " you can't SMELL that belt burning? " " you don't smell GAS coming from that oven ? "

He smells the pilot light - I smell an impending explosion !

LOL !

any funnies ?

How bout I stop drinking pure cowboy coffee - a lil liquid with the grounds - and see if I feel less "stress"...duh !

 

Posted 4/11/2009 1:16 AM (GMT 0)
Accepting my new limits is something I've been having a rather hard time with. Too often I find myself pushing as hard as I can to try and do something I know I either shouldn't or flat out can't. I always pay for it in pain later. It's frustrating to wake up one day and realize that something you're accustomed to doing is no longer a possibility.
Posted 4/11/2009 1:32 AM (GMT 0)
I found it very hard to accept ,limitations, fought it for years untill I would get into such bad pain I was beside myself I had to learn to take it one day at a time , one hour, one minute etc etc. I had to let myself rest without guilt and I had to detach myself from the people who refused to accept that.
Posted 4/11/2009 1:38 AM (GMT 0)
Yes we do have to face a lot of changes, and learn our limitations with this disorder. But all in all, I think if we go with the flow of it, we can do it. It may mean we have to slow down some, but we don't have to stop.

Keep your chin up and walk tall. And take life one day at a time. Keep pushing on.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 4/11/2009 1:44 AM (GMT 0)
I happened to catch Michael J. Fox ( the actor) on a talk show the other night.  He has been fighting Parkinson's Disease for years.  He said he'd learned to do a better job of acknowledging (and somehow accepting) that on certain days his body might be having a very bad day, but that "he" (the rest of him) didn't necessarily have to succumb and have an equally bad day.  The body presented limitations, but he didn't have to surrender totally - which I took to mean mentally and emotionally as well.  I thought that was pretty neat.  I sure don't know how he does it - but the thought resonated with me, and it can't hurt to try, right?

Posted 4/11/2009 2:20 AM (GMT 0)
I saw the Michale J. Fox show as well. he has always inspired me, more so now that I have a diagnosis.

I am recently diagnosed so everything is new to me. I am losing friends who I realize now weren't true friends - I noticed people avoiding me in case i was having a bad day, or not inviting me to things because I wasn't able to go to the event before. I also notice people reaching out to me and asking how I am today, and being considerate, wanting to learn about the illness. That is in equal proportion. I was just diagnosed a couple of weeks ago, though I've suspected FM for awhile. I am learning how to budget my day's energy, especially if I have anything else to do that day besides go to work. i.e. if I have to go the grocery store after work, I need to be aware of my day's pace. I know I couldn't add another thing to that day. I missed an event last night because I couldn't find parking, and the driving around and around fatigued me really suddenly and I had to go home. That made me sad. But later that night I realized that even though that was a sad thing, missing the event, my whole night didn't have to be sad. I had a nice night at home instead. I've always been busy, keeping a packed schedule, and always work really hard, so in my new job I am really pacing myself as well. For me i focus on what I can do that day instead of what I can't. For example, today the ends of my fingers really hurt. But, though I can't pick anything up, or might need help cooking dinner, I can still type. I'm not usually one to feel sorry for myself, but I did once lately, and understood that life was different now, like it or lump it.
Posted 4/11/2009 3:33 AM (GMT 0)
I am fairly new to this site, and new to the whole dx fibromyalgia.  I have had it for about a year and was officially diagnosed about 1 month ago.  Today I was having an ok day, after two days that were really bad symptom wise.  So I decided to clean the inside of my van because my 3 year old wanted to be outisde to play.  I started slowly getting all my supplies I would have to use, just taking my time, being happy that I could actually enjoy the day and get some work done.  I was less than half way done, when I got dizzy and very fatigued.  I stopped and rested my head against the seat and let it take over thinking it would wash over me and go on its merry way.  It didn't.  But instead of stopping all together

I pressed on, feeling weaker and weaker as I went.  Once I was finished and came back into the house, all I wanted to do was lay down.  Then the pain started in again, after two days of he-double hockey sticks.  I layed down and slept for two hours and woke up feeling much better.

I guess the reason I share this is because, if I see it on paper maybe I will start to understand that this is how my life is going to be.  It is not in my head, I am not being overly whiney, or trying to get anyone's sympathy.  I am changed whether I like it or not, I have to learn to submit to the new rules and quit ignoring my body.  I have to learn to plan ahead, and start exercising to build up my stamina and listen when all the signs say, 'no you can not take your 13 year old daughter to the mall after work, you need to conserve your energy and rest during the evening so you can work tomorrow.

I am now working part-time, which has made a big difference in my life, for the better.

I am currently taking flexeril at night and ultram 4 times a day, and I can do this, just a little differently.

Thanks for listening.  Jules

 

Posted 4/11/2009 4:17 AM (GMT 0)
I finally learned that pacing means stopping before I start to hurt.  What a concept!  If I can do that, I can do more with less pain.  The key is, knowing when to stop.  I suppose yu have to pay close attention so you know.

Pushing through the pain can cause a flare.

Sue

Posted 4/11/2009 4:32 AM (GMT 0)
I was diagnosed 20 years ago and I still cannot get it through my thick skull that I cannot do today what I could once do. I cannot keep the schedule I kep back then. I cannot exercise as I did then. or work as many hours, or walk the dogs as many miles. As I type these words, I read them and yet, I find myself not accepting of them. I want my life back. I am an overachiever. I am a doer. I run. I go. I do. I work a full time job, and care for my family, which is now fur babies since the kids are grown and gone. I exercise, I walk the dogs 2 to 3 miles, except lately, I haven't been able to and it's killing me. I have done this for 25 years, walk the dogs, for many miles, all around my community. I am known as "that lady with the dogs". Now, this winter, barely a walk, hardly anywhere. I do NOT want to give in to this DD. I don't want to. I want my life back. This shoujld happen, after working for so long, exercising for so long, to be told you can't exercise, it's so wrong.
Miriam
Posted 4/11/2009 12:44 PM (GMT 0)
I can so appreciate every post !

I agree that going with the flow of it will be my biggest challenge. I'm a go getter - ambitious......always been burning the candle at both ends - running from emotional issues this way as well , you know ?

Inspirational people like Michael J Fox !!

No kidding ! High Fricken FIVE on that one !

He hits it right on - seeing his body truly as a vehicle - and only part of what makes us a whole.

I think having fibro feels like your battery pack is running down - and when it starts running down - you have to recharge before the rigor mortis of stiffness starts in !

Here's to hopefully "getting it thru our thick skulls !"

I'll need help with that !

Posted 4/11/2009 7:14 PM (GMT 0)

Hey N,

I read your post last night and it's been on my mind ever since.  I've had Fibro/CFS forever .. or at least it feels like forever.  I'm getting ready to go back to work full time, in the beginning of May.  I'm scared.  I hope I can handle it.  I wonder if I'm going to be able to do a 40 hour week along with an half hour drive each way.  If I don't make it with this job I'll never be able to work again and I don't know if I'm ready to accept that.  (my boss is a dear friend and she knows my limits...we've worked together before, but I was never this disabled with FMS/CFS before). 

I've copied your post and put it in my fibro folder to remind myself that if I can't handle it.. I MUST accept it and find a way to live with it. 

I hope I'm not in denial (AGAIN) and this doesn't come and bite me in the butt (AGAIN).

You really sound like you've got a good handle on the acceptance part of having a chronic illness.  I'm proud of you!!

Take care...

Posted 4/11/2009 8:24 PM (GMT 0)

I want to say a big THANK YOU to everyone who posted on this thread.  I, too, find accepting my limitations very difficult and it is nice to know I'm not alone.  Your thoughts and suggestions are so helpful and inspiring.

Thanks again,

Chris smurf

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