Mothers and narcotics...

Well, I'm having issues with my mom yet again about the fact that I'm on a narcotics pain pill. She said that my dad being on pain pills was how all his addiction issues started. (My dad is a recovered crack addict.) My mom thinks that I'm going to end up like my dad for some reason. *sighs* She just doesn't understand. If I could cope without my pain meds, then I would. I don't like having to take them, but I do. I hate that she is comparing me to my dad. There are plenty of people who are on pain meds and they aren't addicted to them. I mean, if I went off them, I would go through withdrawal, but that is only because I have been on them so long. I just don't know how to make her understand. She has a mind of metal when it comes to stuff like this. I understand her concerns, but she is always so pushy, and she plays the "I just want Alex to be taken care of" bit. I hate that. She acts like I am not going to take care of my son because I'll be too busy being on pain meds. I don't take my pills to get high or anything. I just take what I need to keep the pain at a minimum. I hate that she doesn't understand. I just don't know what to do about it. I wish she could live with my pain for just one week. Then maybe she would at least understand a little bit. *sighs* I'm just so frustrated. I don't know how to make her understand. I just want a good relationship with my mom, but I am tired of her trying to control my life and tell me how I should deal with my pain and take care of my son. I'm sick and tired of it. But I never really say anything because I don't want there to be a rift between us.

Sassy, your mother is obviously afraid you inherited whatever made your dad a drug addict and being the mother and grandmother of older children I know you never stop worrying about what they may or maynot have inherited. Have you taken her to one of your doc apps and had him to explain to her why you need these meds and if he thought you were a drug addict he wouldn't be rxing them to you???

 

Since we don't have magic powers to make others feel what we feel she may never know how much you hurt. I would try the doc app with you and then try to avoid conversations with her about you taking narcotics. I can see both sides of this problem cause once a mom always a mom. Hopefully she will see in time that you are not like your dad and you are a good mom to Alex.

 

luv and hugs

Marlee

Pain meds are tools, just like automobiles. We use cars to get around. We need pain meds to get around. You are dependent on your car but you are not ADDICTED to it. Explain it to your mom that way and maybe she will get it.

Sassy...

You can't "make" her understand, but you can suggest she find her own answers. Perhaps you can lovingly point her in the direction of a few local al-anon meetings. Yes... As a Drug and Alcohol Counselor, I've seen many pain management patients end up severely addicted. However, millions of others on pain management have not. Just as you and all of us here do, your mom has her own path of learning. Perhaps one big lesson for her may be in learning to let go of trying to control.

You might want to mention to her that added stress worsens your condition and that you're practicing letting go. Perhaps she'll take the hint and follow suit.

Hugs,

I understand my mom's concerns. I really do. That's why I didn't argue with her. Besides, my husband would let me know if he thought I was becoming an addict instead of just dependent on my pain meds. I know my mom loves me, and I know she loves Alex and that all she wants is just for us to be safe and happy and healthy. I love her. I just wish she would lay off a little. I'm trying to not let it get to me.

Sassy,

Do you think it would help her more if she not only got some information on pain management, but got some information on fibromyalgia too?

Just wondering

Hugs, Karen